Everlasting Devotion
by Ouaysis
Summary: "...she's your daughter." Those were words Sirius Black never thought he'd hear; especially not from his ex-girlfriend and the one girl he'd ever truly loved. Now he's forced to change his world for a tiny bundle of blankets and face responsibility.
1. Hello, Goodbye

**I wrote a new story! :O If you haven't already, you may want to read my oneshot 'Say Hello to Goodbye.' That's a prequel to this story; don't worry though, it's not critical to this story if you don't. **

**There are a few things you need to know before proceeding. First, this is sort of an AU, but not completely. There are a lot of things I've changed for the sake of my story, including certain parts of Sirius' character. Now, before you go ranting about it, let me tell you how I see it. Sirius isn't the same person because things went differently in my version. End of story. I also changed Tonks' age, to make her closer to Remus for the sake of this story. I knew that's part of the reason he was reluctant to admit his love for her, but deal with it. This is MY fanfiction; if you don't like it, don't read it. Now that we've got that settled, on to the really important things. 1). Peter isn't a traitor or Death Eater. He loves his friends and stays loyal to all of them. 2). Because of this, James and Lily are still alive. There are other things I changed, but I won't say them on here so that it doesn't ruin anything. **

**I hope you enjoy! =] Reviews are always appreciated. Love always,**

**~Ouaysis.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. I am simply borrowing them from Ms. Rowling. ;)**

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><p><strong>September<strong>

The day had started just as any other. I had got up, pulled on a shirt, grabbed my wand, and made my way to the kitchen. Then I'd started breakfast and paid the owl for _The Daily Prophet_. Just as I sat down to eat, there was a knock on my front door. With a frown I dropped my spoon and pushed my chair away from the table. Who would be coming at this hour of the morning? I knew it wasn't a friend, because they would have just walked in.

"Coming!" I shouted when they knocked a second time. Two seconds later I put my wand in my back pocket and pulled the door open. My heart stopped for a moment when I saw the woman on my doorstep. Her brown hair was longer than it had been when I'd last seen her a year before.

"Danielle…." I said once I'd found my voice. "What are you doing here?"

She sighed and I realized that she was holding what looked like a bundle of blankets. Upon closer inspection I discovered that it was a baby wrapped in a blanket.

"Come in," I said as I stepped out of the way. "You don't need to catch a chill out there in the cold."

Danielle hesitated before stepping over the threshold. I closed the door behind her and turned around. Tension and awkwardness tainted the air as we just stood for several minutes. I avoided her gaze as a stab of pain shot through my chest. I wondered if she was thinking about the night of our break up as I was.

Clearing my throat, I gestured towards the sitting room. "Want some tea? Let's sit down."

Danielle shook her head but followed me forward. I sat down in the arm chair and Dani sat down on the sofa, placing a bag beside her and resituating the baby in her arms.

"Why are you here?" I asked, leaning forward with my forearms on my thighs.

Danielle looked down at the baby and then slowly back up at me.

"I think you know that."

"Why would I ask if I knew?" I couldn't keep the sharp edge from my voice. I'd always been the wrong one in our relationship. Clearly nothing had changed.

Dani closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them again they shined with unshed tears.

"Look, I should have told you, I know I should've. But you wouldn't –" She stopped abruptly and pressed her lips together, taking a deep breath.

"Things went unsaid." I agreed reluctantly with a nod. Danielle nodded and looked down at the baby in her arms once again.

"Who's the baby?"

"Her name's Emilia." Danielle explained. "And that's why I'm here."

I scowled in confusion. "Because you need help?"

"No." She said quietly. "Sirius, I'm here because she's your daughter."

The world seemed to stop spinning and I felt my jaw actually drop. I stared at her incredulously. Several minutes passed by in silence. I finally broke it with a laugh. _My daughter_? There was no way.

"You're joking." I told her.

Danielle shook her head, her expression one of pain. Her chin trembled for a few moments until she gained control.

"No. I wouldn't kid about something like this."

"Why are you telling me now?" I demanded angrily. "Why not tell me nine months ago? Why not tell me when you found out?"

"Because you wouldn't say it, Sirius! You wouldn't say that you loved me."

"So you kept the fact that I was going to be a father from me?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it again. Danielle took a deep breath. "I thought…..if you couldn't say that you loved me, then how was I supposed to know you would take the news well? You aren't exactly fatherly the type. I thought it was for the best at the time."

"Just because I might not be a good father doesn't mean I didn't deserve to know!" I said, hurt stabbing me. If she had told me, then maybe I would have had the courage to tell her those three damn words. If I had known that our baby was being thrown into the equation, then maybe I wouldn't have been such a coward.

"I know, Sirius, and I'm sorry. But I'm telling you now. You're not going to be happy with me, I know, but this is the only option I have."

"What do you mean?" I asked with frown.

"I'm going back to America, Sirius. My internship I had after school is over."

"And?"

"And I can't take Emilia with me."

It took a moment for my brain to fully comprehend the meaning of her words. Standing up, I crossed my arms.

"No. Absolutely not. I can't take care of a baby! You said yourself I wouldn't be a proper father!"

"I said I didn't know." Dani protested. "Please, don't make this any harder than it already is. My father will never let me keep her. He'll make me put her up for adoption. I won't do that to our daughter. You're her father; I know you'll do the best you can."

"What? No, Dani, you don't understand. I can't do this!" Panic overwhelmed me, forcing the air from my lungs.

"You can, Sirius. I know it. You might not be able to say so, but I know you will love her." Danielle stood up and tried to hand me the bundle in her arms. I put my arms up and took a step back, shaking my head.

"Sirius, please." Dani said as a tear escaped from her eye. "Please, just take her."

I stared into her brown eyes and saw the pain there. Reluctantly I stepped forward and allowed Dani to place our daughter into my arms. The small baby girl felt so fragile as she slept peacefully. When Danielle turned to leave I grabbed her arm and started to protest.

"What would you have me do, Sirius?" She asked, tears welling in the back of her mocha-colored eyes.

"Marry me," I said before I could stop myself. Danielle looked at me incredulously.

"You're serious, aren't you?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"What would my father think?"

"Forget your father! We had a child together; don't you think he'd be glad we married?"

Danielle laughed through the tears in her eyes, shaking her head. Hurt and anger both flared inside of me. Was I not good enough for her? Would I ever be?

"We'd never be able to live together Sirius, and you know it. We'd end up ripping each other's throats out. We don't work together."

"We did once and we can again. Just try, Dani. What could it hurt?" I didn't want to sound like I was pleading, but I couldn't help it. She was just going to leave me with a baby?

"I can't Sirius, I'm sorry." She shook her head, avoiding my gaze.

Then she leaned forward and kissed the baby's forehead for a long moment. Wiping away her tears, she stepped back and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Tell her that I love her. Tell her I did this for her. Please."

Swallowing the lump in my throat I nodded. I'd always hated it when she cried. With a trembling chin Dani looked at Emilia one last time. Then she turned and bolted for the door, yanking it open and rushing out, pulling it closed behind her. I took a deep breath once she was gone and then slowly I looked down at the baby, wrapped in a blanket in my arms. She had tiny features and her brown, feather-soft hair peaked out of the pink hat on her head.

Panic started to bubble up in my chest as I stared down at her. I couldn't do this. How was I supposed to take care of a baby? I had nothing for her, no food, no furniture, no clothes. What was Danielle thinking? I would be a horrible father! Just look at the example I had. As I stared down at my daughter she opened her little eyes. For a moment she just stared, but then her small mouth twisted and opened. Her cries filled my flat and I went into full-on panic mode. I started to bounce her in my arms.

"Shhh, shhh." I begged her. "Shhh. What's wrong?"

Emilia just screamed louder and I swore. Crossing my living room in one stride, I grabbed the bag off of my couch with one hand. Then I spun on the spot. Emilia was still crying when I Apparated into James' house. The alarmed faces of James and Lily appeared from around the corner as they raced into their foyer to see what the ruckus was.

"What the hell's going on?" James demanded. I handed Emilia to Lily, who took her with wide eyes.

"Make her stop, please!" I told her.

"Have you fed her?" Lily asked over Emilia's screams.

"No. I don't know! Dani just showed up and then—I can't be a father!" I told her as I shoved the bag into her arms. Lily took the bag and Emilia to the other room and a few minutes later the screams subsided to small whimpers.

I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands, sinking into the nearest chair.

"What is going on?" James asked, sitting down beside me. "Sirius?"

I looked up and opened my mouth, but no words came to me. How was I supposed to explain this? I wasn't even sure if this was truly happening myself. This was all so sudden and crazy—such a mess.

"I'm not sure…." I said, looking over at my best mate.

"Whose baby is that and where did she come from?"'

I sighed. "I….She….she's my….daughter."

"Daughter?" James asked, shock taking over his features. "Since when do you have a kid?"

I took a deep breath. "Since….I suppose since last year. Danielle said—"

"Danielle? I thought you haven't talked to Danielle since the night before graduation!"

"I haven't. And thanks for reminding me," I snapped.

"What happened?"

I shook my head. "She just showed up this morning and said that she had to go back to the States—that her dad would make her put Emilia up for adoption if she took her with her. Then she just…..left."

I couldn't believe that I had let Danielle slip through my fingers again. Lily came into the room and handed Emilia to me. She had a bottle in her mouth and I thought she would start screaming again, but she seemed content.

"Care to tell me what's going on?" Lily asked with raised eyebrows. "Why do you have a baby?"

"Dani was pregnant before we left school and…she didn't tell me."

"Why not?" James asked because Lily was too shocked to speak. I sighed.

"She said it was because I wouldn't say I loved her." I closed my eyes and fought against the pain that stirred inside me. In my arms, Emilia was starting to fall asleep again. I looked up at James and Lily.

"What am I going to do?" I asked, the worry no doubt showing in my face. "I don't have anything to take care of her. How am I supposed to raise a kid? I have to go to Auror Training, and—"

James held his hand up, silencing me. "Padfoot, calm down. We'll figure something out."

"We?"

Lily nodded and sat in James' lap. "We'll help you out, Sirius. Don't worry, we'll go shopping and I can help you pick out some stuff. We can all have dinner here tonight and tell the others the news as well. James and I have something to tell you lot anyhow."

I sighed and nodded, the panic in my chest subsiding slightly. "Thank you, Lilykins."

Lily made a face but nodded.

"Do you have somewhere I can lay her down?" I asked, looking down at the sleeping baby in my arms. Lily nodded and stood up, gesturing for me to follow. I did, and she led me to the spare room upstairs. There she spread out blankets on the floor, where I placed Emilia on top of them. Lily left the room but for a moment I stayed kneeling by my daughter's side. I took in a deep breath, brushing a finger over her soft face. Her little lips still moved in a sucking motion and it made me smile. As I watched her I felt an unfamiliar feeling creep over me—complete and utter love. I'd barely known her for more than an hour, yet she already had me completely wrapped around her finger. I knew in that moment that I would do anything for that tiny little being on the blankets.

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, baby." I said softly as I stood. Emilia smiled in her sleep, so I took that as a good sign. On my way back downstairs my head swam with emotions and the crazy morning I'd had. Once I got to the foot of the stairs I stopped and let out a large breath. I still wasn't sure how everything would work out, but I knew that I would make sure it did. I would do whatever it took to give my daughter the best life she could possibly have.


	2. Pushchairs and Baby Shops

**Hey guys! =] Thank you so much for all the amazing reception! I swear, I don't think I've had so many Story Alerts or Favorite adds in a twnety-four hour period! You're all awesome! Anyway, I'm trying to make Sirius as British as possible, so...yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm just making him sound confused as to his Nationality, but oh well. I'm doing my best. Reviews make me happy. I love you all! x]**

**~Ouaysis.**

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><p>Just as promised, Lily and I went shopping that afternoon, dragging James along with us. I was thankful that none of us had Auror Training that day. Remus and Peter were both coming over to James and Lily's house later for dinner, where I would tell them about Emilia.<p>

"What about this?" I asked, picking up a flowery bag.

"She already has a nappy bag, Sirius." Lily said, lifting the strap of the bag hanging on her shoulder. I sighed and put my head back.

"What are we looking for? This is hopeless. I'm going to be a horrible father!" I looked down at Emilia, whose little head was searching her surroundings in curiosity. Her tiny body felt fragile in my arms, but I didn't know what to do. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just give her away. No, my heart was already too entrapped in Emilia's sweet, innocent smile and gentle eyes. But could I do this? I wasn't sure that I could. Lily put her arms out for Emilia and reluctantly I handed her my daughter.

"I'll go find some clothes. You and James find a pushchair. Sound good?"

I nodded solemnly and then headed for the correct aisle with James at my side. Once we got there I raked both hands through my hair and took a deep breath. Dropping my hands I looked over at James.

"What am I going to do, James?" I asked, shaking my head. For a moment James said nothing. But then he slowly turned to me, a mischievous grin spreading over his face.

"We're going to do as Lily says and find a pushchair." Without warning James started toward the pushchairs strapped to the shelves. He looked around to make sure we were alone before pulling out his wand and muttering a spell, tapping the straps. Next thing I knew, James had two baby pushchairs on the ground, standing innocently in front of us. A smile spread over my lips when I realized what he was up to.

James gestured to the pushchair.

"You first, mate."

I laughed and shook my head before sitting on top it the best I could.

"Ready, Padsie?"

I nodded, gripping the sides of the pushchair. "Ready, Prongs."

James took hold of the top of the pushchair and started forward in a run.

"Turn, turn!" I shouted, laughing when James turned sharply and nearly dumped me out. Several Muggle customers stared at us with wide eyes as they jumped out of James' way, but I didn't care. After a few more minutes I switched places with James and headed back to the other pushchairs.

"Out of the way!" I shouted, barreling down the aisle. I was aware that an employee was running after me, yelling that the pushchairs were for children only but I just pumped my legs faster. A small boy laughed when he saw us, his mother shouting in surprise and pulling him closer to her side. When we arrived back at the pushchair aisle the disgruntled employee was panting and shouting at us at the same time.

"Can't use pushchairs! – For children! – I'll have you thrown out! – No more! –"

James and I stood side by side, nodding with solemn faces and trying not to laugh our heads off.

"Yes, sir. I apologize. My friend's a little excited at the moment. He just learned he's going to be a father, you know." James said. "I promise, good sir, that there will be no more incidents. I guarantee it."

The stout man squinted at us a moment before nodding curtly and stalking away. He shot us one last, suspicious look before disappearing behind a corner. James and I exchanged looks before bursting into laughter. Looking around, I noticed a display of pool noodles at the end of one of the aisles. I glanced at James before running over and grabbing two. Handing one to James, I took a pram and backed it up to the end of the aisle.

"Brilliant!" James exclaimed, following my example.

"Ready?" I asked, preparing my noodle. James nodded and at the same time we started to advance. After several meters we both jumped on to the pushchairs, which continued to speed down the aisle. As James approached I extended my noodle and he did the same. The noodles completely missed and the pushchairs lost control. The sound of snapping plastic and mine and James' shouts filled the air as the pushchairs collided and sent us both flying.

I landed on the cold ground with an _umph!_ I laid there for a moment or two before sitting up, laughter rumbling through my chest. Across from me James was laughing as well.

"James!" Lily's voice came from the other side of the pushchairs. Going silent, James and I turned to look at each other. Then we both burst into laughter again, putting our heads back.

"What on earth happened here?" Lily demanded. Looking up, I saw Lily holding Emilia on one hip, an arm wrapped around her. A basket of clothes was looped through the other. Somehow she still managed to put her hands on her hips as she glared at her husband.

"Care to explain?" She asked as James stood up and brushed himself off. I did the same, still chuckling.

James shrugged. "I was helping Sirius get his mind off things."

I nodded and clapped James on the back. "Thanks for that mate."

Lily rolled her eyes and handed Emilia to James. I pulled out my wand and pointed it at first one pram and then the other, muttering, "_Repairo"_. The plastic sealed itself back together and the two pushchairs were once again good as new. Then I put them back on display and picked one that looked reasonably fun for Emilia.

When I returned to the spot Lily and James were standing James handed me Emilia. My heart felt a little heavy knowing that I was mostly on my own. At the end of the day, Lily and James would be at home and it would just be me and Emilia. I sighed and kissed Emilia's soft forehead. I couldn't help but smile at the way she wrapped her tiny infant fingers around my index finger. I peered over Emilia's head at Lily and James.

Lily shook her head. "I swear, you two are worse than children! I can't take you anywhere. We better get out of here before you find the toy section. God knows what you would do over there."

I grinned over at James, who rolled his eyes and pointed at Lily's back. "_Killjoy,_" he mouthed with a shake of his head.

"I saw that," Lily said without looking back. The look on James's face was priceless. I snorted and shook my head.

"You should know by now that she sees and hears everything, Prongs." I said, inclining my head towards Lily.

James sighed. "Some of us never learn. You going to be alright?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Me? You kidding? It'll take more than a baby to keep me down."

James slid his hands into his pockets but didn't say anything. I was grateful. An hour later I had all of my purchases stacked in the spare room that was now Emilia's. With a wave of my wand and a mental charm, the baby cot came out of its box and started to assemble itself. Then with a sigh I looked down at the instructions Lily had written.

_If she starts to cry, check her diaper. _

_If it smells, change it._

_If not, try to feed her. _

_Don't leave her alone in range of things she can put in her mouth. _

_In fact, it's best if you just don't leave her alone at all unless it in her cot. _

_Contact me if you have any other questions. _

_Lily._

I looked over at the chair Emilia was asleep in. She looked so peaceful laying there, her small chest rising and falling gently, her fist balled up and in her mouth. A small smile twitched at the side of my mouth. I leaned against the doorjamb and crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn't ready for this, but what choice did I have? She was my daughter. That thought hit me hard. It was still a crazy thought, a nearly impossible notion. Yet it was true. I was a father and I was now solely responsible for the tiny life that I had helped to create. Pushing away from the jamb I crossed the room to my mantle.

Silently I reached for one of the pictures framed there. Looking down at it I traced the face of Dani with my thumb gently. She smiled and laughed up at me from behind the glass. My chest constricted and I closed my eyes. I was such a fool. I'd refused to tell her I loved her when I had. I still did. It had been over a year but the beautiful features and mesmerizing eyes of Danielle Wilson still haunted me, especially on nights when I laid sleepless in my bed. I cursed myself for letting her slip away just because I was too scared and proud to say three stupid words out loud.

I put the photo back and gathered Emilia into my arms, careful to not wake her. Then I cradled her in my arms, sat down in the chair, and looked down at her. Closing my eyes, I put my head back against the head rest. Before I knew it, I was joining my daughter in the comforting realm of sleep. I woke up to the sound of Emilia starting to cry. Groaning, I opened my eyes.

"Shhh." I said, rubbing her back gently. "It's okay, I'm here."

I could tell she didn't need a diaper change and I was grateful for that. And Lily had just fed her an hour ago, so I didn't think that was it either. But I stood up and made a warm bottle anyway. Emilia turned her head each time I tried to put the plastic thing in her mouth.

"Come on baby, drink it. What wrong?" I asked, bouncing her up and down gently in my arms. She was in full-on scream mode now. I sighed and started to walk around, bouncing and shushing. Still, Emilia screamed. I wondered if babies knew when their mother's left, never to return. I had a feeling that they did. By now Emilia had to sense that her mother wasn't going to come back for her like she no doubt had assumed Dani would.

As a last ditch effort I started to sing to her. By no means was my singing voice wonderful. But I remembered James' mother saying something about babies liking it when people sang to them. My voice wasn't horrible, though it was in no way the best. Just when I thought she would never stop Emilia started to calm down. Her screams went down in volume until it was just a small whimpering.

"Shhh. See, it's okay. Daddy has you now. Did you have a bad dream?"

I looked over at the clock on my wall and realized that it was a good thing Emilia had woken up, because if not I might have been late for dinner tonight. Once Emilia was calmed down I took her to her room and found one of the nice outfits that Lily had bought earlier that day. It was a lot more difficult to dress a baby then I had ever imagined. Every time I thought I had it on, Emilia moved and I had to start all over again. Eventually though, I got it on and then took Emilia into my own room so that I could change. I sat her down on the bed, handing her a toy from the ground. She watched me intently with her small little eyes as I changed my pants and shirt.

Thirty minutes later I was all set; Emilia's nappy bag was packed with everything I might need and Emilia and I were both dressed and ready. I picked her up off of the bed and then looked down at my daughter. She gripped my shirt in her tiny fist and her eyes were bright with curiosity. I couldn't help but notice they were the same color as her mum's, though her brown hair was dark like mine. Pain stabbed at my chest as I thought how she'd been in this world for five months already and I'd never known.

I sighed and jiggled Emilia in my arms. "You ready, baby?" I asked. I wasn't so sure I was. She babbled, so I assumed she was saying yes. Then I took a deep breath and spun on the spot, Apparating to James and Lily's house. I appeared with a little _pop_ in the living room, where Remus and Peter were already seated. Remus frowned at me when he noticed Emilia.

"Who's the kid, Sirius?" He asked, and Peter looked just as curious. James turned around the corner, joining us in the living room. Moments later Lily also appeared, wiping her hands on a dish towel. James and Lily looked at me expectantly while Remus and Peter both stared. I dropped the bag to the floor and glanced nervously down at Emilia.

"This," I said, gesturing to Emilia with my free hand, "is Emilia….my daughter."

Peter choked on the drink he'd just put to his lips and Remus stared at me incredulously.

"Your _what?" _Remus demanded.

"My daughter," I repeated uncomfortably. I shifted Emilia in my arms, wrapping both arms around her small body for comfort.

"What the hell, Sirius? Since when do you have a kid?" Peter asked.

"Danielle showed up at my house this morning and said she was going back to the States—and that she couldn't take Emilia with her."

"So she dumped the kid on you?"

I scowled. "She didn't 'dump' Emilia on me. But yes, I'm taking care of her now."

Why was I defending Danielle? Peter was right—she _had_ dumped Emilia on me. Somehow, I couldn't find the will in me to be mad at her. I was scared out of my mind, sure. But I also saw a beautiful opportunity in raising my daughter. Given the choice to go back and relive those moments, I would do everything the same. A smile snuck up on me as I looked down at my baby. Because that what she was—_my_ baby. There was no better feeling in the world than the one you get from parenthood. Still, if the the look on my friends' faces, was any indication, this wasn't going to be easy.

Remus shook his head. "Wow…this is crazy. How're you holding up?"

I sighed and handed Emilia to Lily, who held her hands out for her.

"It's a lot to take in, but I'm dealing."

James came up beside me and slapped my shoulder.

"You'll be fine, Padfoot."

"Thanks," I mumbled. Lily saved me from further embarrassment by announcing that dinner was ready. I didn't ask where she'd got the high chair Emilia was sitting in, banging her fists against the plastic tray. I just sat down beside her and smiled.

Thankfully dinner passed as it normally did, filled with conversation and laughs. I'd secretly been afraid that Remus and Peter would take the news harder. But now I knew I shouldn't have worried about anything: Remus and Peter were my friends, and friends stuck together. Even though the news was shocking and unexpected, after a while everything would settle down.

Suddenly Emilia screamed loudly in an attention-seeking kind of way. Everyone went silent and looked over at her. She laughed and forced air out of her cheeks and through her lips, making noise. I shook my head and rubbed my finger up and down her soft cheek.

"I think she's a lot like you, Sirius." Peter said. "Always wanting to be the center of attention."

I rolled my eyes and tossed a piece of meat off of my plate at him. Peter dodged it but we both were grinning.

"Before you lot start a food fight, James and I have something to tell you." Lily said, standing up. James grinned and stood up as well, nodding eagerly. He wrapped an arm around Lily's waist as we all looked up expectantly at them. The room was filled with silence except for Emilia's babbling until Remus broke it.

"Well?" He asked. James and Lily looked at each other and James nodded again. When they turned their attention back to us they were both beaming.

"I'm pregnant!" Lily announced in a rush, a smile turning up her lips. A smile spread across my own lips and I stood up, hugging Lily and then James, who was practically glowing with happiness and pride.

"Congrats, mate." I told him.

"Thanks," James said with a ridiculous smile on his face. I shook my head.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me earlier."

"I wanted to, but Lily insisted that we tell everyone together. And then this morning you showed up with Emilia."

I turned to Lily, who was beaming.

"Congratulations, Lilykins. You're probably mad at me for beating you to parenthood, huh?"

Lily laughed and shrugged. "Honesty Sirius, I'm surprised this hasn't happened earlier."

I rolled my eyes and punched her in the arm lightly. I couldn't say that I agreed with her. I'd never really thought about that kind of thing at school. I never thought about becoming a father, not this early. But here I was, with a daughter I wasn't sure how to take care of. I had to admit that I was a little scared at the prospect of being responsible for another person, especially one so small and dependent on me. Looking over at Emilia I knew that now I had her, no one was ever going to take her away from me.


	3. Broken Promise

**Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews. =] Here's a new chapter! Hope you like it. I love you all! **

**~Ouaysis.**

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><p><strong>March, four years later<strong>

It hadn't taken long before I'd been forced to change Emilia's diaper. To make matters worse it had been about one o'clock in the morning and I'd been woken up by her mind-rattling screams. Unfortunately, since it was such an ungodly hour in the morning I couldn't just Apparate to James and Lily's and demand that Lily do it. And so I'd had no other choice than to plug my nose and change it. Granted, I'd treated it as more like a nuclear weapon (honestly, how does someone that small create something that _disgusting_?), but I'd thankfully gotten through the ordeal alive. Merlin, was I grateful for that phase of parenting to be over…

I felt the small body of my daughter crawl into my bed beside me and had to be content knowing that the days of midnight bottle feedings and early morning diaper changes were over. Instead I had to deal with night mares and questions—questions like "Where's my mum?" I'd been dreading this day ever since Emilia turned one. Now it was finally here I knew I couldn't avoid answering the tiny angel that snuggled against my bare chest. Despite my initial annoyance that Emilia had joined me in bed, waking me an hour before I had to go to work, a smile twisted my lips. I could never stay mad at the adorable mannerisms and wide, innocent brown eyes of my daughter.

"Daddy, you awake?" I finally heard the whispered question I'd been anticipating and sighed. There was no use denying the inevitable. I cracked my eyes open and immediately my face broke into a splitting smile.

"I am now," I said, shaking my head. "Why are you awake so early?"

I felt Emilia shrug against me and shook my head again.

"You just like making me lose sleep," I complained. A feeling of happiness washed over me, warming me from the inside out at the sound of her tinkling, childish laughter.

"Daddy, I'm hungry." Emilia said, tapping me on the shoulder.

"Should I really make you breakfast?"

As I'd hoped, Emilia giggled. I pretended to snore and then, when she pushed against me, started to tickle her.

"Daddy!" She protested, the bedroom filling with her laughter. In one swift movement I pulled the covers off and scooped my daughter up in one arm. I carried her upside down to the kitchen, where I flipped her right-side-up and slid her into a chair. The sun hadn't even come up yet as I started to make breakfast and a pot of tea.

"Could you get the eggs for me, Emmy?"

"Sure, Daddy," she said, her chair scrapping against the floor as she pushed away from the table and slid off of it. From the corner of my eye I saw her open the refrigerator and pull the stool up to it in order to reach the carton on the door. Carefully Emilia walked back towards me, cradling the carton in her toddler arms.

"Thank you, Emmy-Bear." I said, reaching down and taking the carton from her. She grinned up at me, her brown eyes shining. With her hair and big brown eyes, Emilia reminded me painfully of her mother. Her nose and mouth, the oval contour of her face and the round shape of her eyes all made me think of Danielle every time I looked at our daughter. An hour later I was showered and dressed for work. Entering Emilia's room, I found her on the floor playing with a few of her dolls.

"You ready to get dressed?" I asked as I went to her closet and looked through the many outfits hanging there. When I finally found one I liked I took it off the hanger and handed it to Emilia, who had insisted on dressing herself ever since she'd turned three a year ago.

It made me scared to know that my baby was growing up. She was supposed to stay little forever. The fact that she'd inherited my stubbornness and independence struck fear into my very core. Would she turn into me? Would she make the same stupid mistakes and allow the one person she'd ever truly loved slip away from her? I prayed that she wouldn't, but I knew that no matter what choices she made in life she would always possess my heart. As I sat down in the armchair in the corner I started to French braid Emilia's hair. When Lily had sat me down and demanded that I learn how to fix Emilia's hair I'd been horrified. I mean, what's more demeaning than a man doing hair? But through the years I'd come to realize that there was something dignifying in it. Why should I be ashamed of doing the best I could for my daughter?

"Daddy?" Emilia asked quietly as my fingers moved through her hair.

"Yes?" I asked, an unsettling feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. I knew by the resigned way she spoke that Emilia was about to ask about Danielle.

"Where is my mummy?" She asked, fiddling with the doll in her hands. I tied the end of her braid with an elastic band and sighed, lifting her into my lap.

"Well," I said, swallowing back the lump in my throat. How should I approach this? I couldn't just tell her _I'm a bloody idiot and let your mum slip away; she couldn't take you home so she abandoned you here with me. But she still loves you._ Emilia looked up at me expectantly and the confusion on her face nearly broke my heart.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out before answering. "Your mummy and I didn't really get along very well when she told me about you." I finally came up with. It wasn't really a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth, either. Once she was older and would understand more, I would tell her the whole story.

"And her own daddy would have been very unhappy if she'd come home with a baby. So she gave you to me, because she knew that I would take good care of you."

"Oh," the sad way that one syllable came out made pain wash through me. I wanted to protect her, but I also wanted to take away her sadness at learning her mum didn't want her. Although it wasn't necessarily that Danielle didn't _want_ Emilia, there was still the fact that she had chosen her father over our daughter.

"Will I ever see her?"

"Maybe someday. She loves you, Emmy. If she didn't she never would have been able to leave without you." I reassured her. I stood up and put Emilia on my hip, walking to the living room and going to the mantle. I picked up a picture I had of Danielle there and, taking it out of the frame, handed it to Emilia.

"Just remember she loves you, okay?" I asked. Emilia nodded, her eyes wide as she stared down at the picture. I kissed her forehead.

"Now, you ready to go to Ms. Vickie's?"

Emilia nodded and slid out of my arms, racing back to her room to gather the toys she wanted to take to her babysitter's house. Two seconds later she returned with her small rucksack. I helped her put her shoes on and then took her hand before opening the front door and going out. Her babysitter was a Muggle neighbor who'd taken to Emilia when I'd first started caring for her. She'd immediately offered to take care of her while I went to work, saying that she missed her grandchildren. Emilia loved the old lady dearly, and I had a certain affection for her as well, so I'd readily agreed. I rang the doorbell and then bent down to Emilia's level.

"I'll come pick you up after work, I promise." I said, kissing her forehead again. "Be good for Ms. Vickie. I love you."

Emilia flashed her warm, honey-sweet smile at me and nodded.

"I will, Daddy. Can I keep mummy's picture?" She asked, holding up the photo. I was glad I'd decided to give her the Muggle photograph I had, and not the Wizard one. A moving picture wouldn't have done kindly to Ms. Vickie's heart. Danielle was sixteen in the picture; she'd given it to me while we were dating. I nodded and rested my palm on the top of Emmy's head.

"Sure, Emmy-Bear. Keep it safe for me."

She nodded, her brown eyes wide and serious. Just then Victoria opened the front door and beamed down at Emilia.

"Emmy dear, there you are! I was beginning to wonder if you weren't coming today." She said, giving me a knowing look.

"I wouldn't miss a day at your house, Ms. Vickie!" Emilia protested as Victoria opened the door wider to allow Emilia inside. I gave the older lady a kind smile and waved. Then I retreated back to my house and after locking the door, Apparated to The Ministry.

"Remus, look out!" I shouted, sending a shield charm between him and Dolohov. Spinning, I shot a curse at the Death Eater behind me and dodged his at the same time. As I did Lucius Malfoy aimed his own curse at me and I didn't have time to dodge it. Excruciating pain consumed my body and I collapsed into a writhing heap as Lucius kept his Cruciatus Curse trained on me. The pain slowly dissipated and I gasped in deep breaths, turning and climbing to my feet only to see Malfoy an unconscious mass sprawled on the grass. Just when I thought the fight was going to even out more Death Eaters started to appear around us with small _pop_s.

I dueled furiously with Yaxley for nearly fifteen minutes, each of us dodging and sending hexes and curses at the other, until I finally got him in the chest with the Stunning Spell. He toppled to the ground, frozen.

Bursts of light flashed all around me—a chaotic blend of colors flying every which way. I ducked to avoid being hit by a stray hex as I ran towards Peter, who was battling two Death Eaters at once. _Sectumsempra!_ I shouted in my mind, aiming my wand at the larger Death Eater. Abruptly I felt a slice on my right shoulder, followed by a burning, stinging pain. I nearly dropped my wand but managed to grab a hold of it with my left hand. Blood oozed from the wound as I frantically tried to heal it. No incantation I muttered seemed to work and soon my head was starting to spin.

_No!_ I thought, desperately trying to remain conscious. _I have to be strong for Emilia! I can't fail her now!_ But despite my best efforts I felt my eyes roll back into my head as the world went black, everything turning upside-down.

Groaning, I cracked my eyes open once I regained consciousness. As things slowly came into focus I recognized my surroundings as the inside of _St_. _Mungo's_. What had happened? I was acutely aware of the sharp, painful ache in my right shoulder and reached my left hand up to rub it. My palm met bandages and pain flared in my shoulder at my light touch, so I dropped my hand back to my side.

"I think he's awake." I heard a familiar voice say. Turning my head, I saw Remus and Peter sitting beside my bed. I frowned at them.

"What happened?"

"Lestrange has a killer aim," Peter said, shaking his head. "You were nearly fifty meters away."

"We're still not sure what curse she used, but it took the healer ten minutes to stop the bleeding."

I sat up abruptly and pain shot through my chest, but I ignored it.

"Emilia," I said, fumbling with the blankets and trying to get out of the bed. Remus stood up and forced me back gently.

"She's fine, Sirius."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I promised I would pick her up after work!"

I saw him and Peter exchange looks like _has he gone mental?_

"I'm sure she'll understand, mate." Peter said, joining Remus on the side of my bed.

"Lily went to pick her up; she'll stay with her and James until you've fully recovered." Remus assured me, though it did nothing to ease my distress. What kind of father was I that I didn't keep my promises? My head started to spin from sitting up so I lay back against the pillows once more. Just then a healer came in, carrying a small flask of something red. It didn't look very appetizing.

"Oh good, you're awake." She said, pouring a serving of the potion into a cup and then handing it to me. I took it with my left hand, since my right shoulder exploded in pain whenever I moved it even slightly.

"Drink up," she instructed, so I put the cup to my lips and tilted my head back. The liquid wasn't revolting, like some potions I'd had to take. But it wasn't a nice cup of tea, either. I coughed from the slight sting and wiped my mouth after handing the healer back the cup.

"Daddy!" I had never been so relieved to hear the tinkling, childish sound of my daughter's voice before. Remus and Peter stepped to the side in order for me to see Emilia running towards me. James and Lily were several meters behind her, three-year-old Harry between them. A smile lit up my face despite the light-headed way I was feeling. Emmy skidded to a stop next to my bed and Remus lifted her up so that she would be able to see my face.

"Sorry I didn't pick you up, Emmy-Bear." I said. Emilia smiled at me, her eyes sparkling.

"It's okay, Daddy. Aunt Lily says I can stay with her!"

I nodded. "Yes, you're going to stay with Aunt Lily and Uncle James until I'm feeling better."

"Are you sick?" She asked seriously, her eyes going wide.

"Something like that. I will be better in a few days, okay?"

Emilia nodded, her expression still solemn. I leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead.

"I love you, kitten."

Emilia's face lit into a crooked grin. "Love you too, Daddy."

Remus put Emilia back down.

"What do you say you, me, and Harry go find a snack?" Lily asked, offering Emmy her hand. Emilia nodded and skipped over to her, taking her hand.

"Bye, Daddy!" Emilia said, turning back to me and waving with her free hand. I smiled and sent a small wave.

"Bye, love."

I gave Lily a look of thanks and she nodded before leading the kids away.

"How're you holding up?" James asked.

I gave a one shouldered shrug. "I'm fine. Thanks for picking up Emilia."

James nodded and clapped a hand on my good shoulder.

"What are friends for, right?"

I nodded and sighed, lying back against the pillows once more. The events of the day had been stressful, but I was content knowing that Emilia was in good hands. In fact the only hands that could be better were my own. I closed my eyes, the face of my daughter filling my mind. After taking a deep breath I slipped into the comforting embrace of sleep.


	4. Complications

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><p><strong>June, three years later<strong>

"Daddy, Daddy!" Emilia said, running over to me across the market place, her friend Carol Ann trailing behind her. She skipped to a stop in front of me and held up two bright colored gems connected to delicate silver chains.

"Can we get these?" She asked me. I sighed.

"Didn't you get something five minutes ago?"

"Pleeeeaaaaase?" She asked, sticking her bottom lip out in a pout and widening her big brown eyes, filling them with her silent pleading. How could I resist that face? That adorable crooked grin and those chocolate-colored eyes were irresistible. It was impossible. Shaking my head, I dug my hand into my pocket and pulled out a couple Muggle five-pound notes, handing them to her.

"Here," I said, ruffling her hair.

"Thank you, Daddy!" Emmy said, giving me a hug. I chuckled and nodded, wrapping an arm around her. Then she and Carol Ann ran off with their hair bouncing, light beside dark. With a smile on my lips I turned back to browsing the many trinkets and baubles on sale. I glanced over at the girls every few minutes, making sure they didn't wonder off.

My smile grew bigger as I turned to look and saw Emmy and Carol Ann huddled together, talking about something. As I watched they put their heads back and laughed. I could imagine Emmy's laughter in my head, tinkling and sweet. I could hear Carol Ann's as well, a slightly lower pitch than my daughters but just as sweet. I took a step back without turning to look and ran into something. Or rather, some_one_.

"Sorry about that," I said as I turned. In less than a second the color drained from my face and my heart began to race in my chest. My mouth suddenly felt dry and my palms sweaty. I was imagining this. I had to be. There was no way that the brown-eyed brunet woman in front of me was who I thought she was. I was prepared to walk away and force the image of her face out of my mind. But then she said it.

"S-Sirius?"

I swallowed away the lump and stab of pain that voice invoked. I was wrong. It _was_ possible that Danielle Wilson was here, in England. And not only in England, but here in London. I cleared my throat and nodded.

"Dani?" I asked, still not completely believing what I was seeing.

She nodded and looked down at her hands, nervously fiddling with her peach-colored spring dress. I couldn't help but notice her tanned legs and delicate white sandals strapped to her feet. Quickly looking back at her face, anger suddenly flared. What was she doing here? Did she come here looking for me, expecting me to just take her back? Did she come for Emilia?

"What are you doing here?" I demanded. I knew she noticed my angry tone, because she shook her head and looked down again.

"I'm not—please don't assume I'm here because—" She stopped and sighed, looking behind her. "I never thought we would run into you, I mean, the odds of…."

I nodded, my anger dying down. Danielle would never come here looking to take Emilia away from me. No matter how much she missed her, Dani just wasn't that kind of person. I crossed my arms over my chest, the awkwardness hanging in the air around us almost palpable.

"What brings you to our side of the sea?"

Danielle looked behind her shoulder again, only this time a guy waved back at her with a smile before turning back to the tables he was scanning. She turned back to me.

"My parents insisted that we go on a family vacation so they can get to know Stan."

"Stan?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"My fiancé."

Why did that one word drill a hole into my heart? I knew it had something to do with the way I was hyper aware of the fact Danielle was only about a meter in front of me. The breeze tossed her hair, begging for me to tuck it back into place and brush my knuckle along her jaw like I'd done a thousand times. I put my hands in my pockets before I could do anything I would regret. Glancing back, I made sure the girls were still enjoying themselves looking at all the objects on display.

I pushed away the longing that threatened to well up inside me when I turned back to Dani. I couldn't deny that even after all these years the only girl I'd ever loved was standing right in front of me. I'd dated of course, mostly at the insistence of all my friends. But I'd never been able to find anyone. I'd always ended up comparing them to Dani—how their hair was too light or too dark; how Dani's smile had always been so much more sweeter; how I had been able to tell her nearly anything and she would know just the right thing to say; how she had known me better than I'd known myself.

"Is that her?" Dani asked breathlessly, looking behind me. I turned and followed her gaze to where Emilia and Carol Ann were bent over something, digging in a crack of the stoned ground. I smiled.

"Yeah."

I looked back at Danielle as she studied our daughter from the distance. Tears pooled in her liquid chocolate eyes so much like our daughters. She bit her lip, balling her hand into a fist at her chest. I clenched my own hands in my pockets to stop myself from reaching out and pulling her into my arms. I never had been able to stand her tears. I sensed she was about to ask something when a small group of people approached us. I recognized two of them as Danielle's parents, but the other man I'd never seen before. He was the one who had waved and I knew he must be Stan, the fiancé. He was tall, with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. He wore expensive-looking black slacks, a deep blue button down shirt, and a patterned tie. Everything about him shouted rich, arrogant git.

"There you are, Danielle." Stan said. "We were wondering where you disappeared to."

She nodded and smiled up at him, but it seemed a little forced. She looked over at her parents and then back at me.

"Mom, Dad, you remember Sirius." I could hear the forced way the cheerful tone came out, but I doubted anyone else did.

I'd only met them once, during the one Christmas holiday when Dani and I dated. I offered them my hand. "Nice to see you again."

Mrs. Wilson nodded and shook my hand happily, a smile on her face. Mr. Wilson shook my hand with only a curt nod. He'd never really cared for me. How would he react if he knew that his granddaughter was standing right across the market place from him? Probably not very well. Almost as if she'd known I was thinking about her, Emilia and Carol Ann came skipping over.

"Hey, Daddy!" She said happily. I immediately grinned, my daughter's bright ray of sunshine dissipating the awkwardness and subtle tension in the air. I prayed that she wouldn't recognize Danielle. Even though her mother was older than the picture she still kept in her room, Danielle honestly didn't look that different.

"Hello, Emmy-Bear," I said. I gestured to Danielle. "This is an old friend of mine, Danielle, and her family."

I almost choked on the word friend, but managed to get it out. Danielle smiled and bent down to Emilia's level. I knew she hated that, but hoped she would keep her manners and not say anything. I breathed a sigh of relief, seeing that her eyes were curious but held no sign of recognition.

"It's lovely to meet you, sweetie. What's your name?" I had to give Dani credit for acting; no one but I would know she was very well aware of our daughter's name.

"Emilia," she said immediately. One thing my daughter never had been was shy. She took Carol Ann's hand and I smiled. "And this is my best friend, Carol Ann."

I loved that Emmy had inherited my sense of loyalty to friends. Unconsciously I put my hand on her shoulder. I wasn't sure I liked the way Mr. Wilson was narrowing his eyes at Emilia.

"How old are you?" Danielle asked. The question was appropriate and completely innocent. But I was in on the secret that Danielle was Emilia's mother and I knew that she was soaking in the presence of our daughter. How could she stand not seeing our daughter's bright smile every morning? How did she go through the day knowing she didn't have Emilia to go home to? I had to remind myself that Dani had never experienced it before, so she couldn't miss it. The thought made me sad for some inexplicable reason.

"Seven," Emilia replied happily.

Danielle glanced up at me and her face was absolutely beaming. I couldn't help but smile for her happiness. Dani started to reach out to our daughter but then caught herself. I saw the sheen of tears in her eyes as she put her arms back to her side. When she stood up moments later her expression was cheerful and her eyes devoid of any moisture. It occurred to me in that moment what big of a sacrifice Danielle had made for Emilia. She'd known that our daughter hadn't stood a chance against her grandfather and in order to do what was best for Emmy she'd left. That would have taken an immense amount of strength and love. Yet, at the same time, it hadn't been her only option. She could have married me. We could have been a family. If she'd returned to the States a married woman with a family, her father would've had no choice but to accept it.

"Daddy, when are we going to leave?"

I looked down at Emilia and then back at Danielle and her family. They didn't appear in any hurry to be leaving. I pulled out some more money and handed the right amount to each Emmy and Carol Ann.

"Why don't you and Carol Ann go get some ice cream while I talk?" I said, pointing to the small ice cream shop on the corner. Emilia and Carol Ann cheered before taking off. Mr. Wilson's gaze followed them and then turned back to me with a disapproving look.

"You're going to just let them go by themselves?"

"They'll be fine, Bret." I said in annoyance. He grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest, staring after the girls. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"She's seven you say?" He asked, turning back to me.

"Yes."

"So that means she was born—"

"Right after I got out of school, yes."

He glared at me for cutting him off but I just stared back. He wasn't intimidating in the least. After facing and dueling a gang of Death Eaters on a near weekly basis, Bret Wilson was nothing.

"Where's her mother?" He asked with a grunt. I refused to let my eyes dart to Danielle's face, in case that would give it away. Instead I met her father's hard gaze. I shrugged.

"She left," I said finally after mulling over how much I should tell them. "And before you say something negative about it, I'm perfectly fine with that. I understand. I'm not going to lie and say it isn't hard sometimes, but I do understand, even if I don't necessarily like her decision. In a way, I sort of respect her. It took a great amount of strength to do what she did."

Bret looked incredulous and raised his eyebrows at me. "You _respect her_? You Brits aren't too bright, are you?"

I just laughed. He knew nothing about us "Brits" as he said. And it wasn't the "Brits" he didn't like, it was just me. Not that that bothered me. There were a lot of people who didn't like me.

"Yes, I do. Her parents never would have accepted that she had a child out of marriage—especially her father. They never would have let her keep Emilia. At least now our child's with her father and will never be more loved in her life."

"Babe, are you ready to go visit Buckingham Palace?" Stan asked, apparently bored with the current topic. Anger flared and I crossed my arms over my chest. Why did they have to come here, of all places? Why couldn't they have gone to bloody Australia or something? The last person I wanted to see in the world was my daughter's grandfather. He'd always had a knack of pissing me off within two seconds of his presence. He'd always made me feel like I was worthless somehow, like I was a piece of rubbish. I'd had enough of that from my parents and I wasn't about to take it from a spoiled American.

I saw Dani give another fleeting look at the ice cream shop before nodding and taking the man's hand. She smiled up at him and he returned it, leaning down to kiss her on the lips. My gut twisted and I looked away. Was that really necessary? I cleared my throat and inclined my head towards the ice cream shop.

"I really must get going. The girls have to be at Carol Ann's in an hour. It was lovely to see you again, Dani."

She smiled and nodded. "You, too."

I didn't say good-bye to anyone else, more to make Bret mad then because I didn't like them. I tucked my hands into my pockets as I walked swiftly toward the shop. Once there, the girls came running out, already having eaten their ice creams.

"Are you two ready to leave yet?" I asked.

"We're ready," Emmy agreed cheerfully. "Are we going Carol Ann's now?"

I took one of Emilia's hands and one of Carol Ann's as I nodded.

They cheered together and started to skip on either side of me. I chuckled and shook my head. Forty minutes later I pulled up to Carol Ann's house and let the girls out of the car before going to retrieve Emmy's over night things from the boot. They immediately ran to the house and went inside. I followed behind.

"Hello, Hannah." I said, giving the woman a friendly smile as she opened the front door for me.

"Hello, Sirius."

After I'd dumped Emilia's things in Carol Ann's room I found Hannah in her kitchen, knitting.

"I'll pick her up in the morning? Around nine?"

She nodded, her browned hair pulled back into a bun. "Yes."

"Alright then, see you."

"G'bye, Sirius."

I left the house and got back in the car, blowing air out of my lips. Running into Danielle in the market place had left me stressed. What if her parents found out? Would they try to take Emmy away from me? Danielle never would approve, but would she be able to stop them? She was getting married, after all. It wouldn't be such a horrible transgression to have a child now. I swallowed hard and climbed into the car, wishing that I didn't have to use the Muggle transportation. It would have been so much faster to get home by magic. Then again, it might be good for me to have some time to think.

Seeing Dani had also dredged up feelings that I thought I had buried a long time ago. I'd never once expected Danielle to come back. I'd dreamed of it, hoped it would happen, but I'd always known it was impossible. Or at least I _thought_ I had. Now she was here, but she was engaged. That still hurt, though I knew it shouldn't. Had I really thought she wouldn't move on? No. But I'd hoped she wouldn't. I'd fantasized about the day Dani would return and say she was sorry for leaving; say she had never stopped loving me, either.

I tapped the dashboard with my wand in order to speed up the car without the Muggle's noticing and ran a hand through my shaggy hair. I was thankful Emilia hadn't recognized Danielle from the picture she had. What would I have done if she had? I sighed and shook my head. My world was crazy enough, what with the Order was still fighting Voldemort. And now there was going to be all this added stress of Danielle being in town. Maybe I wouldn't run into her again. Maybe they'd only be in London for a few days. Maybe I could go stay with James the rest of the summer. No. I wouldn't do that, no matter how much I wanted to. I wouldn't be a coward and run away. I would face the possibility of seeing Danielle and her parents again with my chin up and shoulders back. I had to be strong for Emilia, even if that meant she would be right in front of her mother and never even know it.


	5. Here We Go Again

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><p>I sat down to read the <em>Daily Prophet<em>, enjoying the rare occasion of freedom but also missing Emilia. We always sat and read the paper together—her small body on top of mine, turning the pages when I gave her the signal. Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I frowned and stood up, folding the paper and tossing it onto my now-vacant armchair. The thought of putting a shirt on passed my mind, but I didn't act on it. I didn't really care, honestly. I pulled open my front door and my heart nearly stopped before going into overtime.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Danielle, who was once again standing on my doorstep. Only this time she was absolutely alone. A light pink brushed her cheeks as her eyes momentarily swept over my chest, but then she brought her gaze up to mine.

"I wanted to talk to you," she explained. "And I figured you never moved…."

"Is that supposed to mean something?" I asked defensively. I wasn't really in the mood to talk to Dani. As much as I still wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her until tomorrow, I hadn't had time to completely take in her sudden re-appearance. Yet here she was again.

"I…No, I just—Can I please come in?"

I nodded and stepped back, allowing Danielle to step in. Then I closed the door and followed her to the living room I had just left. I gestured for her to sit down and then sat back down in my armchair. She was still wearing the peach-colored dress and it was annoyingly perfect on her. I stopped myself from scowling and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Well?"

Dani sighed and looked down at her hands in her lap. After several long, thickly silent seconds ticked by she looked up again.

"I told them." She said finally.

"You what?"

"I told my parents. Not that it was Emilia, but that I'd gotten pregnant and given the baby to its father." She said, wincing and biting her lip, looking back down. "But I think they pieced two-and-two together and know it's Emilia."

"Bloody hell, Danielle! You couldn't have at least warned me? What, are they begging to see her now?" I sighed and dragged a hand over my face.

She shook her head. "No. But I want to tell them everything. They deserve to know."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Are you sure this isn't just about you?"

"Yes!" She said, scowling at me. "I….I'm not sure. I'm here to talk about this, okay? If you think it would be best that Emilia doesn't know, than….than I can accept that."

Despite her words I saw her chin quiver, could hear the way her voice broke. She may be able to accept it, but it would break her apart inside. I didn't want to do that to her, but was this the best thing for Emilia? She'd never stopped asking about her mother, even after I refused to tell her where she went, or her name. Only because of her cursed puppy-dog eyes and perfected pouting expression I had told Emmy thousands of stories about her mother. Now that she was seven, she was old enough to know the whole truth. But could I deal with that? What if Emilia decided that she wanted to go with her mother? I would never be able to say no to the one person who I cared more about than anything in the world. If Emilia wanted to go with Danielle, than I would let her go even if it killed me inside.

I realized that Danielle had been forced to make this choice seven years ago, to choose between her own happiness and that of our daughter. How could I deny her the opportunity to get to know Emilia after she'd acted so selflessly? I couldn't. Trying to convince myself that the fact I was still in love with Danielle had nothing to do with it, I sighed. Then I hooked my ankle over the opposite knee and nodded.

"You're right."

Danielle looked up, shocked. "I am?"

I nodded again. "Yes. Emilia needs to know who her mother is. As much as I hate to admit it, she's growing up. And every girl needs a mother. You need to tell your parents and fiancé everything."

"Stan already knows."

"All of it?"

Dani's cheeks colored again. "Okay, not all of it. But he knows I have a child."

"And he doesn't care?"

She shrugged. "He's a good guy."

"Undoubtedly," I muttered, half sarcastic.

"So what were you planning? Everyone just comes over and has a nice family chat?" I asked. "You know your father will find a way to blame this all on me."

Danielle sighed and nodded. "Yes, I know. And no, I wasn't planning on them all coming to your…home. I would never ask you to do that. I was thinking more of a public gathering. That way, if things get blown out of proportion…."

"When?"

"I was hoping sometime tomorrow, but it's up to you. Whenever you think Emilia would be ready."

"She's been ready to meet her mother from the day she turned three years old." I said, with a small smile. "She even told me she wanted her mum for a present that year. Do you know how hard it was to explain to a three year old that her mother would never come back?"

"I'm sorry," Dani said quietly. Silence enveloped us once more and I studied the woman across from me. The way her shoulders slumped and she stared at the floor wasn't the Danielle Wilson I knew. She should have been glaring at me, trying to get me to submit to her will with that intense chocolate stare. She should be sitting there with her back straight, not allowing me to avoid her gaze. It scared me to see how much she'd changed. Even scarier, I knew I wasn't the same person I had been when we had dated either.

"I would have stepped up you know," I said finally, not being able to take the silence any more. Dani looked up at me, surprise on her face. "I would have said those three damn words. I would have married you. I—"

Stopping, I cleared my throat. I needed to stop before I said something stupid—like that I was still in love with her. She probably wouldn't believe me anyway.

"It doesn't matter." I said, dismissing the subject. "All I ask is that you give me time to talk to Emilia, to explain what's going on."

Danielle nodded, her eyes lighting up at the mention of our daughter.

"I'll be busy tomorrow until four. Could we go out to dinner?"

"I think that would be perfect." Dani's voice quivered with excitement and just knowing that she was happy put me in good spirits. It was ridiculous, but true. I nodded.

"Sounds good." After making plans on exactly when and where to meet, Danielle stood up.

"Well I must be getting back. I told everyone I was just going for a short walk." I nodded and stood up, walking with her to the door. As she opened into she turned back to me.

"I really am sorry for leaving, Sirius. But we never would have worked out."

I just smiled and nodded, then watched as she walked a little ways down the street to an abandoned alleyway. My smile melted as I closed the door on Dani's retreating form and shook my head. I didn't agree. We could have worked if she'd been willing to try. I would have proved to her that I wasn't the screw-up her father thought I was. Letting out a bitter laugh, I went back to my chair and the _Prophet_. I guess it didn't matter now. Danielle was getting married, which meant we would never find out either way.

The next morning I woke up only to remember last night's conversation with Danielle. Groaning, I rolled out of bed and got ready to go pick up Emilia from Carol Ann's.

"Daddy?" Emilia asked from the backseat on the way home.

"Yes, love?" I asked, looking into the rearview mirror to see Emilia looking out the back window.

"How come Carol Ann has both a Mummy and a Daddy, but I only have you?"

I refrained from groaning and was grateful to pull into my driveway. I blew a large breath of air out of my lips before getting out of the car and opening Emmy's door. Then I bent down in front of her and put my hands on her small arms.

"About that…..Emmy, listen. You remember the woman you met yesterday?"

"Danielle?" She asked and then nodded, her face lighting up in a smile. "I liked her, she was pretty."

Despite myself I smiled at my daughter's honesty. Nodding, I laughed.

"Yes, she certainly was. But I…." How was I supposed to tell her that the woman she'd met yesterday as a stranger was her mother? Emilia appeared thoughtful as she looked around us. Then she slowly lifted her eyes to meet mine, moving her foot to the side nervously.

"She's my mum, isn't she?"

I was momentarily speechless as I just stared at my daughter, my mouth open.

"I—How did you—?" I spluttered in amazement.

"You looked at her the same way you look at Mum's picture."

I frowned. "I did?"

Emilia nodded, her curls bouncing. I shook my head.

"You're too smart, you know that?"

Emmy grinned at me, the gap where one of her front teeth used to be showing. I shook my head as I stood up and took her hand.

"Well, she wants to see you today and introduce you to your grandparents. Are you up for that?"

"We can go? Daddy, please?"

I looked down and shook my head, smirking. Then I nodded and swung our arms between the two of us.

"I guess that's alright. You're sure?"

Emilia nodded rigorously and I sighed. I guess I knew this was coming. But I'd hoped I could avoid it.

"You okay, Daddy?"

I looked at my daughter and smiled, nodding to reassure her. We went into the house, where Emilia ran off to her room and I was left to drag a hand over my face. If Emmy hadn't been asking me for a mum since the day she turned three I wouldn't be doing this. But I knew both Dani and Emilia needed this, so who was I to prevent it? Slowly I made my way to my own room, where I sat down heavily on my bed. Was this really the best thing? I hoped it was. As I was buttoning my shirt, there was a faint _pop_ sound from the living room. I heard footsteps, then James ducked his head into the room.

"Hey Padfoot, you busy?" I looked over and him and shook my head.

"Not yet."

"Yet?"

"I've had a really long past twenty-four hours. I honestly hope yours has been better."

"Something wrong?" James asked as he came into my room and sat down in the chair, stretching his legs out.

"Danielle's here."

James' wand, which he'd been twirling in his fingers, clattered to the floor. He sat up straight, putting his hands on the arms of the chair as though he was about to launched himself out of it.

"_What_?"

I turned to him, knotting my tie. With a sigh I dropped my hands to my side and slumped my shoulders. I nodded.

"Since when? Is she back for good?"

"No. She's here with her family and….fiancé." I swallowed and continued. "I'm not sure how long she's been here, but I got the impression they just arrived. We've made plans."

"What kind of plans?"

"Plans to have dinner. Together. With her family and _Stan_."

James shook his head, leaning down to retrieve his wand.

"That's rough, mate. Anything you need help with?"

Sighing, I shook my head. "Not really. I'm just not sure…..is this what's best for Emilia? She already knows Dani's her mother, so I can't back out now, but…..What happens when Danielle leaves again? Will we have to split guardianship? What if Emmy wants to go with her mum? God knows I wouldn't be able to say no, no matter how much I didn't want her to go. I'd do anything for her."

James stood and put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

"It'll be alright, Sirius. Just focus on tonight, and then tomorrow you can figure out what to do. Maybe Emilia will decide she doesn't even like Dani. Who knows?"

I nodded. "Thanks, Prongsie."

"I'll always be here for you, mate." James said, then dropped his hand. "Well I better get going. I finally got Lily down for a nap, and I have errands to run."

I laughed, shaking my head.

"Don't you mean Elle?" I asked, referring to their six-month-old daughter.

James turned to me seriously. "No. I mean Lily. You have no idea how impossible it is to make that woman take a nap when she's only had about three bloody hours of sleep the night before. You don't know how desperate I am for Elle to stop teething. Lily's beyond crabby and she's cranky enough when Elle's _not_ screaming her head off day and night."

I definitely did not miss _those_ days. "I'll see you at Remus' later tonight."

James nodded. "Later, Padfoot."

I gave a small wave before James Disapparated. Then took off the ratty trousers I was wearing and replaced them with a pair of slacks. After attempting to run a comb through my hair I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked more put together than I had in ages with my deep blue shirt, gray tie that matched my eyes, and gray slacks. Sighing, I shook my head. The last time I'd got this dressed up was two years ago for Peter's wedding. I brushed my fingers over the hair hanging in my eyes. I knew Bret hated long hair; otherwise I probably would have trimmed the edges with my wand.

"C'mere, Emmy-Bear." I said, going into her room and scooping her up in my arms, plopping her down on the armchair in the corner.

"You look perfect," I commented on the light blue dress she had picked out and put on.

"You think so?"

"I know so," I said, tapping her nose with my finger.

"Ready for me to do your hair?"

Emilia nodded and turned. I made her hair in pigtails and pinned up her fringe. Then I sat back on my heels and smiled.

"Prefect," I said, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. Emilia fidgeted with her dress for a few moments before looking up at me. Her brown eyes were wide with worry.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, love?"

"What if she doesn't like me?" Emilia's bottom lip trembled and I pulled her into my arms, holding her tight to my chest for a moment. Then I put my hands on her shoulders, pushed her away gently, and looked her in the eyes.

"She will love you," I said. "She already does, more than you can know."

Emmy nodded, her curly pony-tails bouncing slightly.

"Okay, Daddy."

"Now, are you ready to go?"

She nodded again and I offered her my hand, which she placed her smaller one in. Then I took a deep breath, tucked my wand away, and spun.


	6. Truth and Consequence

**And the drama continues! With nearly twenty minutes to midnight, I managed to update on time! Haha. I hope you like it. Reveiws make me happy! =] You you all!**

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: Truth and Consequence<p>

Emmy and I Apparated to an empty alley outside of one of the fanciest, most elegant restaurants in all of London and slowly walked to the front. I knew that Danielle's parents were rich, what with her father being the founder of one of the most successful computer companies in the world and her mother a famous author. But this was a little ridiculous. I looked up dubiously at the extravagant façade, a frown pulling at the corner of my lips. I briefly thought about leaving—of escaping—but then I looked down at Emilia and her eager expression. Squeezing her hand, I stepped into the restaurant.

"Party for six, under Wilson." I told the maitre d', who nodded.

"This way, sir."

Emilia and I shared a look and I smiled, feigning cheerfulness for her sake. She grinned up at me, her eyes bright with excitement. The older man in the tuxedo led us to the table where Danielle and the others were waiting. Dani stood up, her hands shaking and tears in her eyes. I stopped and so did Emilia. Danielle looked up at me, and when I gave a nod of approval knelt down. Emmy started towards Danielle, and I reluctantly let go of her hand. Emilia approached slowly at first, but then she ran the last several centimeters.

Danielle wrapped her arms around our daughter and buried her face in Emilia's shoulder. I couldn't help but smile a little. It was hard to imagine how Danielle must have felt, being able to hold her little girl again after seven years. I made my way to the table.

"Bret," I said, giving a curt nod. He glared at me and didn't even bother to stand up to shake my hand. So much for cordiality. Clearing my throat I sat down, Danielle and Emilia following suit. Emmy sat between us and I smiled at her in attempt to make myself relax a bit. The tension in the air was palpable and we were all silent for several minutes. Dani wiped her eyes and thanked the waitress as she sat down a glass of water in front of each of us.

"When you said you respected the mother of your child, I never suspected you were talking about _my_ daughter." Bret said, breaking the silence. I closed my eyes a moment and sighed. And so it began.

"How could you be so careless? You just took our granddaughter for yourself and sent Danielle home?" Bret scoffed and shook his head. "It's just like you to abandon her when she needed you most."

I clasped my hands into fists, leaning forward in my seat. I clenched my jaw as I tried to reign in my anger. How dare he make those claims? He had no idea the blood, sweat, and tears I'd endured to give our daughter the best life possible all because Dani walked out and gave up on us, on me—twice. I was about to pull out my wand and curse him to oblivion when Danielle reached over and put a hand on my arm. I sat back against my chair heavily, looking at Emmy in between us. If I cursed a Muggle—even one who knew about our world—I would likely get my wand taken away. Possibly even be sent to Azkaban. I wouldn't do that to Emilia.

"Dad," Dani said forcefully, making her father be silent and listen. She glanced over at me and I nodded.

"Sirius didn't do anything like that." She said, her voice wavering. "I—it was me who left. I gave Emilia to Sirius because I knew I couldn't take her home. I knew you wouldn't let me keep her, not at eighteen. I mean technically you couldn't have forced me into anything, but I wasn't strong enough to stand up to you then."

"What do you mean by—?"

"I'm not finished!" Danielle said angrily and I was glad to see her stand up to her father for once. Bret's jaw twitched as he crossed his arms over his chest and sat back in his chair.

"I didn't want to leave her." Danielle turned to look at Emilia, tears in her eyes. She reached up and touched Emmy's cheek with her hand.

"Really, sweetie, I didn't. But I knew that was what would be best for you. I never wanted to leave you."

Emilia nodded, patting Dani's hand reassuringly with her smaller one. Danielle turned back to her father.

"I did it because I had to. Sirius….he wanted to work it out. He would have married me." She looked over at me, her brown eyes shining with unshed tears. Was that regret I saw in her eyes? She gave a small, sad smile before turning back to Bret.

"But I said no. You never would have approved. I didn't want to disappoint you." Dani looked back at Bret, who sighed.

"None of this is your fault, Danielle." He said, then turned an accusatory stare on me. "If that _boy_ had been more careful, you never would have had to make that choice. If he'd kept it in his pants and—"

"Bret!" Sally scolded her husband. "This isn't Sirius' fault. They made some past mistakes—both of them. That is no reason to ruin the time we have now. We should take advantage of this and get to know our granddaughter."

Sally smiled over at Emilia, who gave a small smile and then looked down at her feet. Danielle nodded.

"Mom's right. We're not here to point fingers. We're here to get to know my daughter."

I saw Stan slide his hand into Dani's and give it a reassuring squeeze. She looked over and they shared a small smile. Despite the lump that gathered in my throat as I watched, I was happy Danielle had found someone who would love and support her. He clearly was in the same class of society as her parents and was obviously adored by Sally and respected by Bret. Those were two things I could never give Danielle. The Black family remained one of the richest pure-blood families in the Wizarding world, but most of the wealth didn't belong to me. And her father would never even accept me, let alone respect me.

"Emilia," Dani said and Emmy immediately looked up. "This is my fiancé, Stan. He's going to be my husband soon."

Emilia frowned. "But I already have a daddy."

"I know, love." I said, taking her hand in mine. "But Stan is going to be like a second father. So you'll have two daddies and a mum."

"Oh," Emilia said, though she continued to frown. My heart went out to her. This was a lot for me to take in; I couldn't imagine how it must be like for a seven-year-old. Stan smiled at Emilia.

"It's lovely to finally meet you, Emilia." He said. Emmy just nodded, looking uncertain as to how she should react.

After everyone ordered and the waitress brought our food the table was silent for a while. I half wished Remus could have been here with me. He'd always been better at keeping a clear head than me. He would know what to say.

"What exactly are you here for?" I wondered, aiming the question at no one in particular.

"Oh, just a little family trip before the wedding and Stanley takes Danielle for himself." Sally joked, setting down her fork. "I've always wanted to explore the European countryside, and I figured what better a time? So here we are!"

Danielle nodded. "It was all Mom's idea to come here. I told her seeing the sights in the States would suffice for me, but she would have none of it."

"That's right. I insisted that it would be a real vacation or not one at all. What are you up to these days, Sirius?"

"Working." I said, and then with a glance towards Emilia added, "being a father."

"Who do you work for?" It was Bret who asked this time.

"The Ministry," I said, sending a careful look over to Stan. I got the impression he was a Muggle, what with the mobile he always had his nose in and his clothing. Did he know about the world of magic that surrounded him? Dani nodded, ever so slightly. So that was a yes, then.

"Is it a dangerous job?" Sally wanted to know. Oh great. Now Bret would really claim I was an unfit father. I shrugged.

"It can be, I suppose." That wasn't true, but they didn't need to know that. The fight with Voldemort was steadily growing more and more serious. It wasn't a good time to be in the country, that was for sure. However, whatever quest Dumbledore was on seemed to going well. At the last Order meeting he'd informed us that he believed the war would soon be over.

"Daddy always keeps his promises to come home." Emilia offered, sending me a grin.

"That's right, love." I said. "I'll never leave you."

She beamed up at me and I smiled back.

"So, Stanley," I said, looking up at him. "What do you do, exactly?"

"I'm an engineer." He replied. "I've worked with Bret and his company for I don't know how many years. That's how I met Danielle."

Why did that not surprise me? I nodded and gave him a cordial smile.

"I'm sure the two of you are very happy together." It hurt more than I had expected when they both turned and smiled at the other, looking into each other's eyes a moment. I had long since accepted that Danielle no longer felt the same for me. But seeing her with another man…. It was like a dagger to my heart watching them.

"Sirius?" Danielle asked, a slight frown pulling at her lips. I looked up and realized I'd been a little too lost in thought.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Pass the ketchup," Dani said, pointing towards the bottle of red-colored sauce to my left. I reached over and picked it up, handing it to her.

"Right," I said with a small laugh. "Sorry."

"She never would tell me what had happened between the two of you." Sally commented casually as we strolled leisurely through the small park. Danielle was chasing Emilia around. As I watched, they stopped and Emmy pointed to the swing. Dani nodded and went over to push our daughter on it. A small smile pulled at the corner of my lips as I watched the two of them. Finally I looked over to see Sally staring up at me curiously. I shrugged.

"There's nothing much to tell." I swallowed hard, pushing the emotions away so they wouldn't be heard in my voice. Seeing Danielle interact with our daughter made me fall in love with her all over again. Emilia jumped off of the swing and I watching in amusement as Danielle started to have a minor panic attack. She gasped and threw her arms out, worry in her expression. When Emilia landed gracefully on the ground and then took off at a run, Danielle laughed and shook her head before running after her.

From the corner of my eye I saw Dani catch up with Emilia and wrap her arms around her chest, picking her up and swinging her around. They were both laughing, and it made me smile to see them both so happy. Sally put a hand on my forearm and I looked down curiously.

"I don't blame you for anything," she said and I could see the honesty in her green eyes. "And Bret doesn't either. He blames himself, but he'll never admit it to anyone—he's too stubborn. You've done everything you could, and you've done it right. It's clear to me that you're an amazing father."

I was touched that Sally would say such things. It was nice to know that someone acknowledged the things I had sacrificed to give Emilia the best she could have.

"Thank you." I said sincerely. "That means a lot to me, really."

Sally just nodded and smiled. Just as she took her hand off of my arm Emilia came running over to me, Danielle following behind her at a slower pace. I bent down and opened my arms just in time to catch Emilia and stand up, spinning around once. She laughed and held tight to my shirt.

"Daddy!" She said with a giggle. I grinned down at her and started to tickle her, knowing all the right spots to get her. She started to laugh, protesting as she tried to wiggle out of my arms. I laughed and stopped, wrapping both arms around her and kissing her all over her face.

"Daddy!" She said again through her laugh.

"Yes, Emmy-Bear?" I asked, finally giving her a rest as I held her up with both arms under her legs.

"You're silly," she said with a toothy grin. "And Dani agrees with me."

I smiled. "I am, am I? Well, I'm not as silly as _you_."

I gave her another quick tickle before leaning closer.

"It's okay if you call her mum," I reassured our daughter. Emilia pulled back and studied my serious expression before she nodded, her own face turning solemn. I whispered something in her ear and then bent over and placed her on the ground. She looked up at me in hesitation first, but then turned to Danielle.

"Mummy?"

I didn't miss the spark that lit up in Dani's eyes when Emilia called her _Mummy_. She bent down and looked Emilia in the eyes.

"Yes, baby?"

"Would you come tuck me into bed?" She asked shyly. The fact that Emilia was acting timid was a clear sign she was nervous. She was afraid Danielle would say 'no', probably. Danielle's face broke into a smile and she looked up at me, beaming. I nodded and Dani pulled Emmy into a hug. When they broke apart Dani had tears trailing silently down her face. She nodded vigorously.

"Of course I will, sweetie."

Emilia just grinned up at her mother and then looked back at me to check one last time. I smiled encouragement and Emilia came back to my side, sliding her hand into mine.

"Well, I think it's about time the rest of us head back to the hotel." Sally said, calling over her husband and soon to be son-in-law.

"Dani, you'll meet us there?"

Danielle nodded. "Stan, would you like to accompany us?"

Even though I nodded to indicate my agreement, I prayed he would decline. Stan seemed to feel that he would be intrusive if he accompanied us, because he shook his head.

"No, I think it'd be best if I went back with your parents." He stepped closer and pulled her into a hug. When he pulled away and leaned closer I averted my gaze, glad I did when I heard the unmistakable sound of kissing beside me. After a moment Stan stepped away.

"I'll see you later. I love you," he said. Dani smiled and nodded.

"Love you too."

Was that why she liked him? Because he didn't hesitate to say three bloody words? I shoved away the bitterness before it could ruin the rest of our night. Instead I shook Stanley's hand.

"It was nice to meet you." I said, though I still wasn't sure how I felt about him. Stan nodded.

"You too, Sirius. See you around."

I just nodded as he joined Danielle's parents by the taxi cab they had hailed. I turned to Danielle.

"You ready?" She nodded and we both decided that it would be nice to walk home. My flat wasn't too far away, only three or four blocks. Not long after we started Emilia started to complain, so I carried her the rest of the way. She fell asleep a block away from the house. I couldn't help but be saddened by the thought that we would never be a real family. Danielle may be a big part in Emilia's life from now on, but we would always be separated by a barrier too large to cross. Silence settled over us as we walked the final block to my flat.

It was dark when we reached the front door, so I pulled out my wand and muttered _"Alohamora"_ instead of fumbling with my keys. Dani opened the front door for me and I stepped inside, flipping on the lights with my elbow.

"You can come in, you know." I told Danielle when she hovered in the doorway uncertainly. Nodding, she stepped in and closed the door behind her. I carried Emmy to her bedroom and then laid her down gently on her bed. I slid her shoes off and then turned to Danielle, who was standing behind me awkwardly.

"You want to undress her?" I asked. Danielle seemed surprised but nodded, taking my place beside Emilia as I went to her dresser and pulled out a night gown for her. I handed it to Dani, who took it without a word and slipped it over Emilia's head.

"Leave them," I said when Danielle started to reach for Emilia's pony tails. She nodded and then stood up.

"I'll be downstairs," she said before leaving me alone with our daughter. I sighed once I heard her wandering around downstairs. Bending down, I kissed Emmy on the forehead and tucked her favorite stuffed animal in beside her.

"Sleep well, kitten." I said with a small smile. Then I left her room, flipping the light off and heading downstairs. When I found Danielle in the living room, my tie was loose around my neck and the top three buttons undone.

She grinned a little when she saw me. Then her smile slowly faded as her eyes landed on the picture of her on my mantle. Honestly I was surprised she hadn't seen it earlier. My gut twisted nonetheless. How was I supposed to explain that one? I stepped up behind her, watching over her shoulder as she reached up and fingered the intricate frame. She smiled and laughed behind the frame. The picture had been taken days before our fight the night before graduation. She hadn't changed much, except for the length of her hair and a slight aging of her face, despite the nearly eight year timeline.

She turned and looked up at me curiously. I didn't say anything, just stared into her entrapping mocha eyes. I knew I shouldn't take pleasure from her nearness, but I couldn't stop it any more than I could my racing heart.

"It's for Emilia," I finally said by way of explanation. It wasn't the truth, but Danielle would never know that. She seemed satisfied with my answer to her silent question, as she nodded.

"Well I'd better get back to the hotel." She said, sidestepping to avoid being cornered between me and the fireplace. Reluctantly I stepped back and nodded.

"Stan will probably be wondering where you are."

Danielle didn't respond to my comment. Instead she smiled. "Thank you for tonight, Sirius. It really means a lot to me."

I nodded. "It means a lot to Emilia as well."

I wanted her to understand that I was doing this for our daughter and only our daughter. I might still be in love with Danielle, but I still resented her for leaving me the way she did. And now I had to deal with her being here with another man. I was happy she was here, but I also hated it. I watched her give a small wave before turning and Disapparating with a _pop_. Once I was alone in my living room I slumped my shoulders and hung my head. What was I getting myself into?


	7. A Difficult Proposition

**Hey guys. =] So, I think Dumbledore's a little ooc at the end, but I did my best. :/ Hope you enjoy regardless. Love you all!**

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>Two days passed peacefully without much word from Danielle. It was foolish to hope that maybe I had seen the last of her, but I would be a lying if I said I hadn't. Emilia and I finished dinner and sat down to do her homework. I'd put her in Muggle primary school once she'd turned five, both for her benefit and mine. But before we could get started, there was a <em>pop<em> in the living room, followed by Dani's voice.

"Sirius! Emilia!"

Next thing I knew, she was in my dining room, beaming with her mocha-brown eyes shining in excitement.

"Bloody hell, Dani! One night of dinner and you think you can just barge in on us whenever you please?" I refrained from cursing her out more thoroughly, aware that Emilia was watching us. I resisted the urge to ball my hands into fists atop the table and made an effort to unclench my jaw. Did she honestly think that I would be okay with her just popping in on us whenever she damn well pleased? She was in for a rude awakening if she did.

"I know, I know! I should have used the front door. But it was late and I thought this would be faster. Besides, it's easier just to Apparate into the house instead of using the alley."

I scowled at her and stood, crossing my arms over my chest.

Turning to Emilia I said, "Why don't you take your books to your room? We'll go over the things you can't do later."

Her eyes wide, Emmy nodded and gathered her homework in her arms. Then with a backward glance at me and Danielle she hurried off to her room. After a moment I heard the soft _click_ of Emilia's bedroom door closing. I stood straight and stiff, trying to put a clamp on the anger rising in my chest. Did she not think at all? Emilia's life didn't need to be rocked anymore than it already had in the past few days. If Danielle started _literally_ popping in, then I would be forced to do something about it. I wouldn't put Emilia through that. She needed some stability. I just started at Danielle, barely refraining from glaring.

"What?" I managed to keep some semblance of civility to my tone, but not much. Danielle's enthusiasm wasn't at all affected by my foul mood and for a moment she seemed like her old self. It was almost like we'd gone back eight years again. Before my mind could come up with impossible fantasies, I pushed the thought away.

"I have a proposition." Danielle said, practically jumping up and down, bouncing on the balls of her feet. For the first time I took in what she was wearing—a pair of light denim trousers, a plaid button-up shirt, and brown boots that stopped below her knee—and my knees nearly went weak. The woman looked bloody amazing in anything. It was infuriating. She wore several bangles on her wrist and a small pendant around her neck, but the subtle accents only added to her appeal.

"And?" I demanded, hoping to get this over quickly before I lost control and pulled her into my arms, never to let go.

Her eyes sparkled and she clasped her hands together under her chin in excitement. I wished she would just spit it out already. Yet, I also didn't want her to go. Several seconds ticked by with her dancing in place in front of me. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Okay, okay! So I talked to everyone back at the hotel, and they agree."

"On?"

"We-want-Emilia-to-come-with-us-on-the-rest-of-our-tour!" She said it in one long breath, and the only word I caught out of the whole thing was my—no, our—daughter's name. If Danielle was going to be back in our lives, I would have to remember that Emmy wasn't just mine any more.

"Say that again?" I asked. "Slower?"

"I—we—all of us, want Emilia to accompany us on the rest of our tour!" Danielle said, and I swear my heart stopped beating for a split second.

"_What?"_ I demanded, but Danielle seemed to mistake my anger for excitement. She nodded eagerly.

"We'll be going to Italy, France, Germany, Austria! All over! I think it would be a good experience for Emilia, as well as a chance to get to know her. Mom and Stan agree, and though Dad's reluctant, I know he does too. And I –"

"No!" I cut her off, slicing the air between us with my hand. "She bloody well will not!"

It took several moments for my words to register, for Dani's face to fall and hands drop to her side. Her feet were now both firmly on the ground, not half way in the air as they'd been before. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with disbelief. By her expression, I knew she hadn't once stopped to consider I would say no.

"Did you honestly think you could just waltz back into my life—_our _lives and have everything play out like the fantasy in your head? Well it won't, Danielle! You left me. You left _us_! You can't just stand there and expect me to say yes to this ridiculous plan after one bloody dinner."

"I understand things are going to be….difficult." Danielle said. "But now that I don't have to carry around this burden, I –"

"Burden? Is that what she is to you, a _burden_?"

"No! That's not what I meant and you know it." She said fiercely.

"Do I now?"

"Sirius, just listen to me! I meant the secret I've carried around for eight years. How would you feel if you knew you had a daughter across the ocean that only you knew about?"

"I didn't have to worry about that, did I? Because if you hadn't have abandoned her and left, I never would've know about her in the first place!"

Danielle put her hands to her face a moment, then thrust them forward in frustration. As if she were the one dealing with unresolved emotions; the one under the stress of trying to figure out what was best for her child; the one now under the added pressure of debating whether or not to accept a possible life-threatening mission from the Order. I'd talked to Dumbledore the day before and he'd told me about the mission he wanted me to take. I couldn't be sure if it was the right thing to do. I didn't know anything at this point.

"I told you I was sorry. Is that not enough?" She asked quietly, now wrapping her arms around her torso, like she was trying to keep herself together, like she was a victim.

"No, that is not _enough_. Saying you're sorry will never be enough!" I said, mostly succeeding in keeping the hurt from my voice. She nodded, though her expression let me know that she thought I was overreacting.

"Fine then." She said. Was that it? She was going to give up that easily? I didn't dare to rejoice in my victory, and was glad I hadn't.

"Come with us."

Those words were like a sucker punch to my gut, nearly knocking all the air out of my lungs.

"What?" I asked, bewildered and thinking I'd heard her wrong.

"Come with us, Sirius. Then we can spend time with Emilia with your supervision. I'm sure they won't mind. Mother seemed to take a liking to you. Father would be furious of course, but he'll get over it eventually. Come with us." She spoke the last words barely above a whisper. Her voice called to me, drew me in, taunted me….tempted me. Her words certainly were alluring. How long had it been since I'd taken a true holiday? I couldn't remember.

For a moment my imagination betrayed me. I imagined the three of us: me, Dani, Emilia—a family. We were laughing and enjoying a picnic in a park, right in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Gritting my teeth, I slashed mentally at the image. Before I could stop it another image formed; the same image. Only this time, it wasn't me on that blanket next to Danielle and Emilia. It was Stan. My stomach clenched and immediately pushed it away. Go with them? On a tour of Europe? The thought of seeing Danielle every day, of making Emilia happy by being with her mum, was inviting. But I wasn't sure I could stand seeing her every day with another man, with Stan. I realized by Danielle's curious gaze that too much time had passed without an answer. Finally I cleared my throat and looked down at the tile of my dining room floor.

"I'll think about it," I told her, forcing my eyes to meet hers once more. She seemed reserved, but thankfully accepted my answer. Nodding, she dropped her hands to her side once more.

"We'll be in London for another three days." And with that she turned and Apparated. I let out a huge breath, the tense muscles finally relaxing in my back. My shoulders slumped and I closed my eyes. I knew going to that bloody dinner had been a mistake. Now what was I going to do?

"Daddy?"

My eyes snapped open to see my daughter standing in the doorway, looking confused and a little scared. Her eyes were wide, her arms around her chest as though she were hugging herself. Without a word I went over to her and scooped her into my arms. She wrapped her own small arms around me and buried her face in my neck. Once in my bedroom I climbed onto my bed and then lay down on top of the covers. Emilia turned in my arms so that we were nestled together face to face.

"Were you and Mummy fighting?" She asked in a small voice not her usual pitch. I tucked a stray piece of her brown hair behind her ear and sighed. For the first time it occurred to me that our raised voices may have frightened Emilia. She wasn't used to Danielle and me clashing heads.

"No, Emmy-Bear. We were just having a discussion."

"A very loud one."

A small smile pulled at the edge of my lips. "I know, love. I'm sorry. Did we scare you?"

Emilia lifted her small shoulders in a shrug. "A little," she finally admitted.

A moment of silence fell around us and I relished the feel of my daughter next to me. She lifted her chocolaty gaze to meet my own.

"I want to go, Daddy." She said. I closed my eyes a brief moment. I should have known this would happen. Emilia was too smart not to listen in to our conversation, especially after I'd sent her to her room—she'd known it would be important. But after the emotional roller coaster of Danielle's surprise visit, the thought hadn't crossed my mind. I felt as though my brain was on overload.

"I know." I said quietly, placing my hand over hers on the comforter.

"May I go?"

I sighed. There was no easy way to make this decision.

"I don't know yet. I have to think it over first."

"Okay," she said, rolling over and snuggling closer. I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head as I heard her yawn. After the bond she'd created with Danielle at dinner, I knew I couldn't just say no. It wasn't fair to Emilia to keep her away from her mum just because I couldn't handle the possible change that would come with it. Sighing, I closed my eyes. The dilemma would have to wait for tomorrow; right now all I wanted to do was sleep.

* * *

><p>"The Dark Lord's army is growing bigger while our own numbers remain the same. We have to do something, Dumbledore. If we don't increase our numbers somehow, there will be no force for You Know Who to rise against." Hestia Jones said as she stood, leaning against the table toward Dumbledore. The rest of us remained silent and my eyes traveled along the solemn faces of my fellow Order members down to Dumbledore's. Albus raised his hand to silence any possible comments.<p>

"I assure you, Hestia, that I am very aware of that fact. During my travels I have achieved much. I am confident that when we face Voldemort, it will be his last stand."

Hestia gave a brief nod and sat back down in her chair. I mostly tuned out the grim voice of Frank as he read off the casualties—both Muggle and wizard—of the week. I hated hearing all the names of faceless, innocent Muggles when I knew that there wasn't much I could do—and what I could I was already doing. When he got to the names of wizards I focused a bit more, breathing a sigh of relief when no name popped out at me as someone I knew. We discussed strategies and planned for another hour and a half. When Dumbledore called an end to our meeting I stood and stretched out all my kinks. I caught Dumbledore's eye and he gestured to the hall. I silently followed him.

"Have you made a decision yet?" He asked once I'd closed the door to the kitchen of my family home. I didn't think this house was a very nice place for Emilia to grow up—and I wasn't exactly fond of it myself—so I'd decided to stay in our flat across town. I'd offered it as a headquarters for the Order when Dumbledore organized the group. Sighing, I massaged the nape of my neck.

"I'm honored that you chose me to accompany you on one of your mysterious trips. I know they are crucial to the war, or else you won't do it. But I don't think I'm ready for that. Not right now. If this was some other time I wouldn't hesitate. As it is…."

Dumbledore nodded and placed a hand on my arm.

"I understand, Sirius. It wasn't fair to Emilia for me to ask you."

"About that," I said, taking a deep breath and then letting it out. "Danielle is back in town."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, but by the knowing look in his eyes I suspected he'd already learned of her return to England.

"She wants Emilia to accompany her and her family on their tour of Europe, but…."

"You do not feel comfortable leaving your daughter alone with Danielle and her family."

I nodded, running a hand through my hair. "No, I don't. I know Emilia really wants to go and I also don't want to disappoint her. This may be her only chance to get to know her mum."

"Sounds like quite a decision you have to make." I nodded, laughing bitterly.

"Only, I've already made my decision. I just need your approval."

For a moment we just looked at each other. Then Dumbledore nodded.

"You wish to go with them as well."

"Yes," I said. "I could still come to meetings and help whenever I'm needed."

"No, that won't be necessary. You've never taken time off in the entirety of the Orders existence. I think they'll be able to get along without you."

"Of course they will, but we're in the middle of a war."

"Take the time, Sirius. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it."

I nodded, deciding not to argue. "Thank you, Albus."

He just nodded before going back into the kitchen. I blew air out of my lips and dragged my hands over my face. I honestly hoped that I'd made the right decision.


	8. A Final Decision

**Hey guys! Another week, another chapter. ;) lol. Hope you likve it. Love you all!**

**~Ouaysis.**

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><p>"You alright, Padfoot? You seem quieter than normal." Remus remarked, taking a sip of his Firewhiskey. I sighed and shook my head, rolling my own glass on its edge.<p>

"You're right." James said. "Maybe he's sick."

James grinned, but when I moved my gaze from the wooden table to meet his, I saw the worry there. He was the only one out of my friends to know that Dani was back in town. Though he acted like he knew nothing, I kind of wished he would tell the others so I wouldn't have to. I lifted my glass and drained the last of the burning liquid before setting it down again and meeting Remus' and Peter's gaze one by one.

"Danielle is back in town." I said, looking back down at the glass I was still fiddling with.

"That's rough mate. How're you holding up?" Peter asked, clamping a hand on my shoulder.

I shrugged. "Alright."

Remus reached for my glass and filled it again from the tall bottle that sat beside him. Then he slid it across the table with a grim expression. I nodded my thanks before draining half of it.

"Have you seen her?" Remus asked and I nodded.

"Several times. Emmy knows she's her mum. And Danielle wants me to let Emilia go with her and her family on their tour of Europe."

James raised his eyebrows over his glasses. "She thinks she can just slip back into your life that easily?"

"Obviously," I muttered, taking another drink.

"What are you going to do?" Remus wanted to know. I sighed.

"I'm going to go with them."

The room was silent for a moment as I looked around at my three friends. James's mouth was a tight line, Remus was scowling at the table, and Peter was frowning.

"And let her win?" Peter asked.

"This isn't a game, even if she may think it is." I said gruffly. "I'm doing this for Emmy and only Emmy."

Remus nodded in understanding. "You want what's best for her. But are you sure this is it?"

"Honestly? No. I can't guarantee that she won't be affected when Danielle leaves again. But I'm not sure I can afford to say no, either. As much as I hate to admit it, she's growing up. She'll be eight soon. Every girl needs a mother."

"I'm sure you're right," Peter said. "Is going with her the best idea though? For you?"

"I'm not doing this for me," I snapped. "If this was about me I wouldn't be bloody doing it at all, would I?"

Silence covered us as I met James's eyes. He nodded in agreement. He was a father himself; he knew what I was going through. Or at least could relate to it more than Remus and Peter. After a few more minutes I once again drained the rest of my glass, banging it back onto the wood table with a gasp from the burn.

"Have you told Emmy yet?" James asked and I shook my head.

"No, but I'll tell her once we get home."

"How long will you be gone?" Remus asked.

"Not sure," I replied honestly as I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms. "Maybe a month or more. I'll let you know when I do."

He nodded.

"Anyone else got something interesting going on in their lives?" I wanted to know. I couldn't think about my own messed up situation any longer or else I would start to feel sorry for myself.

They all shook their heads.

"Sorry Padz," James joked. "I'm afraid you've beat us all in the drama department."

I chuckled. "That's me, always in the drama." Then I sighed and shook my head.

"Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't a father. What would it be like to have a social life that didn't consist of play-dates and parent groups? Would I have a date every weekend, or maybe even a girlfriend? No, don't answer that; I already have the answer." I said bitterly. Even without having Emilia in my life I may not have completely gotten over Danielle. But seeing our daughter—who looked so painfully like her mother—every day certainly didn't help. Every time I looked at my little girl it drove home the fact that I would never have a chance to make things right with her mum. Especially not now that Danielle was engaged.

I cracked a smile and shook my head. "Oh, don't mind me. It's just the lack of sleep talking."

"Well, whatever happens, know we'll always be here for you mate." James said, standing up and punching me in the arm.

"Is that supposed to be reassuring?"

James laughed, as well as Remus and Peter.

"Sorry Padfoot, but I'm not going to be here when you return from spending an entire month with Danielle. I know she always manages to get your wand in a knot. I suffered through that enough at school." Peter said as they all stood up and took their glasses and the bottle of remaining Firewhiskey to the kitchen.

"Thanks, Wormtail," I said with a laugh as I clapped him on the shoulder. "You always were reliable."

Despite the desolate outlook I had on the next several of weeks, I had a true smile on my face when I entered the living room. There was nothing that helped me relax more than a night with the boys, even if that night consisted of sitting in James and Lily's kitchen while she and the others watched the kids.

"Daddy!" Emmy said happily when I came into the room. She stood up from the corner where she and Harry had been playing and ran towards me. My smile widened and I put an arm around her as she hugged my waist.

"I beat Harry in Exploding Snap!" She said, grinning up at me. I chuckled and tousled her hair.

"I was going easy on you!" Harry protested as he came up behind Emmy, his expression indignant.

"Were not," Emilia said. "You're just mad because you got beat by a girl!"

She stuck her tongue out at him, but then slowly put it back in her mouth when she saw the look of reprimand on my face. James appeared and ruffled his son's black hair the same color of his own with a chuckle.

"That's alright, son. Let her gloat. We're still better at Wizard's Chess."

"James!" Lily scolded lightly, picking up baby Elaine and placing her on a hip as she came over. James chuckled again and wrapped an arm around his wife's waist, kissing her cheek. I refused to let myself wish I could do that with Danielle. Instead I looked down at Emilia.

"Pick up your game, love. It's time to leave."

"Ahhh," she complained but went to do as she was told. Harry followed behind her and helped pick up the cards.

"Did you ladies get all the gossip out of your systems?" I asked, looking around the room to Peter's wife, Marie, and Remus' fiancée, Tonks. I'd thought it slightly amusing when I found out he was going to marry my distant cousin. The fact that all three of my friends had either a wife or a wife-to-be made me feel lonely sometimes. But I refused to let it affect me. Besides, there was no woman I could love other than the mother of my child.

"Very funny, Sirius," Tonks said with a roll of her eyes. Today her hair was an interesting shade of fuchsia. I never would have thought Remus to go for someone with Tonks' personality, but I was glad they were a good match. Remus deserved some happiness in his life.

"I'm sure you gossip more in that kitchen than we do," Marie said with a laugh.

"No gossiping. Just discuss the circumstances of our unfortunate predicaments."

Lily shot me a curious look, but I didn't elaborate, so she turned her gaze back to her son. After a few more moments Emilia and Harry were done. We both said our goodbyes and then Emilia and I used the Floo network to get back home.

"Have you decided yet, Daddy?" Emilia asked almost immediately after we stepped into the living room. I sighed as I brushed the ashes off of myself and Emilia. Then I bent down on one knee to meet my daughter's chocolate-eyed gaze. I nodded.

"Yes, Emmy-Bear, I've made my decision." I loved the way her eyes went wide in anticipation but she didn't say a word. Despite myself a small smile tugged at the edge of my lips.

"You can go, but only if I go with you."

Emilia gasped and then unexpectedly threw her arms around me, holding onto me tight for a moment. I hugged her back and then allowed her to pull away and place her small hands on my shoulders.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said, bouncing up and down. She sounded more like a teenager than a seven-year-old in that moment and it scared me. That was why she needed a mother—_her_ mother. There was no way I would be able to even _think_ about her liking boys, let alone _talk_ about it. I had no doubt that my daughter was going to be a heartbreaker. I just hoped she wouldn't be as I had at that age. I suppressed the shudder that threatened to shake my body and focused my attention on Emmy again.

"Can we go tell her right now? Pleeeaaasssse?" She begged, pleading in her brown eyes. Finally I sighed and nodded, standing up.

"Hold on tight," I said, holding out my arm. She grinned and wrapped both arms around mine, hugging my arm to her chest. I closed my eyes and focused on the hotel before turning. With a small _pop_ we landed directly in front of a sofa, seating Danielle and Stan. It was one of those hotel rooms that was more a flat than "room." A small kitchen area was tucked away in the left-hand corner, the bathroom directly behind the sofa and a hallway to what I assumed were the actual rooms to the left of it. Sally screamed, Bret gave a start and let out a startled cry, and Stan nearly vaulted himself over the back of the sofa. Danielle, on the other hand, simply stared up at me with wide, startled eyes.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, boy?" Bret bellowed, but I ignored him. My gaze was locked on Danielle's. Emilia's excitement had slowly dissipated to a solemn expression when she'd felt the sudden tension crackling through the air.

"It's not pleasant, is it?" My question was directed at Danielle, but it was Stan who scowled at me. She didn't answer. Instead she just asked her own question.

"Have you decided?" She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. I straightened my shoulders and tilted my chin slightly, bringing myself to my full height.

Then I gave a curt nod and said, "I have."

Instead of the joy and cheerfulness I had expected, Dani's eyes filled with tears and she turned, her shoulders slumping as she started to leave the room. Emilia left my side and ran after her.

"Wait! Mummy, where are you going? Daddy said I could go!" Dani stopped suddenly and looked down at Emmy. Then she looked up at me, an adorable frown pulling at her features.

"You have?" She asked dubiously as though she didn't dare to believe Emilia. I nodded again and her eyes seemed to spark to life.

"But on one condition," I said, holding up only index finger. The light that had alighted in Danielle's eyes dimmed slightly, but she still smiled as she looked down at our daughter. I waited until she looked back up at me and met my eyes once more before continuing.

"I'm going with you as well."

A heavy silence descended upon us and I moved my gaze to Emilia, who was looking at everyone around the room one by one with a puzzled look on her face. She didn't understand why they weren't as excited about me coming along as she was. Finally Danielle cleared her throat and nodded.

"Deal," she said. My only response was a short nod.

"The hell he is!" Bret exclaimed. "That was not what I agreed too!"

Danielle turned to her father. "Dad, please, don't –"

"Don't tell me what to do! No! I refuse to let him come with us. It's bad enough that you dropped the 'you have a grandchild I never told you about' bomb. Now you want _him_ to go with us as well? No. I absolutely refuse. This is supposed to be a vacation."

"Bret, honey, why don't we just –"

"No, Sally."

"Think this through, dear. It's really important for –"

"I said no, damn it!"

Emilia had started to edge closer to me as Bret ranted. Now, as he bellowed at his wife, she nearly jumped to my side and put an arm around my waist. She placed her other hand on my thigh, trying to hide behind me. I curled a protective arm around her and glared at Bret.

"We both go or Emilia stays here. It's your decision, Bret. I suggest you think about your daughter's feelings instead of your own this time."

He spluttered as he got to his feet, his face turning red in anger.

"What are you suggesting, scumbag?" He demanded, putting his face close to mine. I would have punched him if I hadn't have felt the tremble that shook Emilia. I turned, scooped her into my arms, and took several steps away in one fluid movement. As she buried her face in my neck, I murmured reassuring words while still listening to the scene playing out behind me. After several seconds Sally convinced Bret to go to their room, leaving Danielle and Stan to send us curious glances. I ignored them and continued to rub comforting circles on my daughter's back until she lifted her head. She had tears brimming in her chocolate eyes and blinked several times to push them away.

"You okay?" I asked quietly. Emilia nodded so I let her slide down to the ground. I turned to face Dani and Stanley again and watched as Emmy walked slowly to her mother's side. When she turned to look at me with questioning eyes I nodded. Dani said something softly that I didn't quite catch and Emilia nodded, taking her hand. Then the two of them left the hotel room, going out the door and into the hallway. My jaw tightened in irritation when Danielle didn't turn to inform me where they were going. But minutes before the door closed behind them Emilia pushed it back open and stuck her head in.

"Daddy, we're going to get a snack. Is that okay?"

I forced myself to put on a smile and nodded.

"That's fine, love, just stay in the hotel."

She nodded and gave a small wave before going back into the hallway. The moment the door closed I let my expression turn weary as I dropped into the armchair beside me. I leaned forward, digging my elbows into my thighs and dragging both hands through my hair. Several minutes passed with me staring at the carpet until I remembered Stan was sitting beside me.

"You really hurt her, you know—by saying no." He said suddenly. I dropped my hands to dangle between my knees as I looked up and over at Stan. Though I wanted to punch him in the face for accusing me of hurting Danielle, I was relieved to see there was protectiveness in his eyes. At least he truly cared for her. I shook my head, sitting back and crossing my arms over my chest.

"I never told her no; I said I would think about it. It's her own effing fault for assuming I would immediately say yes. Does she think I'm an idiot?"

"No. But she thought you wanted Emilia to get to know her mother. We all did. Otherwise you wouldn't have showed up for dinner."

"I want what's best for Emilia. And I'm still not certain this is the best thing for her. What happens once you all leave?" I wanted to know as I raised my eyebrows at Stan.

"Exactly," I said when he didn't answer.

"Do you have any idea how much pain she was going through when she first came back to the States? She barely ate anything for nearly six months. Even though we weren't together then, I still saw her go through it. Sally says it's like she became a whole different person for a while. Did you know that?"

"No, I didn't bloody know that. You want to why I didn't?" I asked, springing to my feet and starting to pace. "Because she left me—left _us_. She handed me Emilia and then walked out the door. I hadn't even known I had a child before that morning. And _she's_ the victim here? I don't think so! Have you ever had anyone's life depend on the choices you make?"

"Of course, if I make a mistake than I may not be able to support Danielle."

"That's not what I mean." I said, shaking my head and dismissing his statement with a sweep of my hand. "Until you're a father, you will never understand what it's like. I love my daughter more than anything in the world. In a way, she _is_ my world. Everything I do, every action, every decision, has to have her best interests in mind. Her life literally rested in my hands. It still does. Danielle made the decision to leave, and though I appreciate how difficult that must have been, I have no sympathy for what she put herself through."

"Still, you haven't exactly been a gentleman through all this."

I laughed. "A gentleman? Danielle bloody showed up at my house and practically demanded that I let Emilia go with your lot around Europe. I don't see where you get off accusing me of not being a _gentleman_. My only responsibility is to my daughter, not to protect her mother's feelings."

Just then Danielle and Emilia returned. Dani was staring down at Emilia, an entranced smile on her lips. Emilia talked rapidly, but it wasn't loud enough for me to hear what she said. I stood.

"Good, you're back. Just in time. Come on, Emilia, say good-bye to your mother. It's well past your bed time."

Emmy started to protest but I sent her a stern look and she sighed.

"Yes, Daddy."

I waited by the chair as they said their good-byes. I just gave Danielle a stare as Emilia wrapped her arms around mine. Then I spun around and Disapparated.


	9. Shaky Beginnings

**Hello, everyone! Hope you like the chapter and happy leap year (or day? eh, whatever). =] I'm going on a trip with my parents for a few weeks, so I don't know if I will be able to get my chapter up next Wednesday. I promise to put it up as soon as I can, though. Love you all!**

**~Ouaysis. **

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><p>I blew air out of my lips as I stared at my packed bag. Was I ready for this? No, but I didn't have a choice. Danielle had informed me the night before that their next stop was France, having already toured Great Britain. I slipped my wand into my pocket just as James knocked on my bedroom door. I turned toward him and made a face. He laughed.<p>

"Ah, c'mon, Padfoot. You mean to say you aren't excited?"

"Quite the opposite." I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know how this counts as holiday."

"It's better than letting Emmy go off alone with Danielle and her family."

"True," I replied, a frown pulling at my lips. "Still, I'm starting to doubt my sanity."

James chuckled. "You just love your daughter. Speaking of, Elle's finally done teething, thank God."

The thought of James' six-month-old prompted a small smile.

"You get your sanity back?"

"Not quite, but at least Lily's not ready to bite my head off every minute."

"I heard that." At the sound of his wife's voice, James turned and grinned at her. He wrapped his arms around her and Elle, giving Lily and then their daughter a kiss. Lily rolled her eyes, but there was a smile on her lips as she allowed James to take baby Elle from her. Just then Emilia and Harry entered my bedroom as well, arguing over something.

"—no, the Holyhead Harpies are going to win, I'm sure of it!" Emilia insisted violently while Harry shook his head just as vigorously.

"Never! Puddlemere United are going to take the Cup this year!"

Despite my grim mood, I couldn't help but smile at their disagreement of Quidditch World Cup competitors.

"Are you ready to go, Harry?" Lily asked her son.

"Ahhh. Do we have to?" He asked with a pout.

"I'm afraid so. Uncle Sirius and Emmy have to be going."

I nodded in agreement and turned to Emilia. "Are you all packed?"

She nodded, her eyes lighting up with the prospect of seeing her mum soon.

"Say goodbye to the Potters. We won't see them for a while."

"Bye Uncle James, Aunt Lily." Emmy said as she gave each of them a hug. She kissed Elle on the cheek and then hugged Harry.

"Bye, Harry. Just you wait and see; Holyhead Harpies!"

I couldn't help but chuckle at my daughter's persistence. Harry was about to respond when Lily shuffled him downstairs to the fire place.

"I have my mirror. Keep me updated on the war." I told James, who nodded. We said our goodbyes and then he went downstairs to join his family. I heard their voices as they used the Floo network to go home. Dragging a hand over my face, I walked to Emmy's room to check over her things. She was putting her favorite stuffed dog into her rucksack when I came in. She grinned up at me and I smiled back. It only took a moment to browse through her bag to make sure she had enough clothes and everything else she would need. Once I was sure of her good packing job I closed the bag and picked it up.

"You ready?"

Emmy nodded eagerly and followed me to my bedroom. I checked my own things once more and then glanced down at my watch. I sighed, knowing that I couldn't come up with another thing to stall with. I gripped my own bag in the same hand as Emmy's and stretched out my arm for her to hold on to. Once I was certain she was holding on tight enough I spun and Apparated to the Wilson's hotel room.

When we arrived with a _pop_, Dani gasped excitedly and pulled Emilia into a hug the moment she let go of me. After a moment Danielle stood up, beaming. She smiled sheepishly at me, probably realizing how enthusiastic her reaction had been.

"Sirius," she acknowledged. I gave a nod, a slight smile pulling at my lips from her warm greeting of our daughter. Just then Stan came in from his room, then paused a moment when he saw me. I didn't bother saying hello, and neither did he. Dani looked at me with raised eyebrows, but I didn't explain. I would be polite if he was. I wasn't going to go out of my way to be nice to these people.

"Are we all ready? Oh, Sirius, you're here. Wonderful." Sally said as she came from her room. She turned to Danielle. "Ready, dear?"

"Yes," Danielle said with a nod. Sally smiled and left, I presumed to retrieve Bret. Emilia started talking, about her friends in school, about her family—her non-blood related family, that is. I refused to let Emmy spend time with anyone in the Black family except Andromeda, Ted, and Tonks. They were the only normal ones.

Stan managed to put his mobile away long enough to take Dani's hand, nodding and smiling down at Emilia. I could tell he wasn't really listening, though. His eyes wandered around the room, and the smile was a little too forced. I shook my head and sat down on the couch as I waited for everyone to get their things together. As I did my mind whirled, going over the facts of the war and the last few Order meetings.

"Sirius?" Danielle's voice broke through my pensiveness and I looked over.

"Ready?" She asked. I stood and nodded.

"Of course," I said with a small smile. Why did she have to be so maddeningly beautiful? Age had definitely treated her well, not that either of us were old by any means. I felt old, though. I stifled my sigh as I reached for mine and Emmy's bags. I tried to watch Emilia so that I wouldn't look at Danielle, but I didn't succeed. I lifted my eyes to see Danielle bustling about the room, picking up her necessities. The denim trousers that encased her long legs were very flattering, and her toenails were painted a delicate shade of pink against the sandals strapped to her feet. The white blouse she wore fit perfectly, showing off her curves without being too tight.

I sighed and forced myself to stare out the open window instead. This was going to be a long trip, I could tell already. Finally Sally and Bret emerged from their room, prepared and ready to go. They each pulled a rolling suitcase behind them.

"Alright everyone, let's go." Sally said, heading for the door. Stan opened it for her, and she gave him a smile in thanks. I was the last one out the door, and stayed at the back of the group. I could still keep an eye on Emilia, but I didn't have to be close to Dani and Stan.

When we got to the street, there was a bus waiting for us. They were rich and yet they were taking a bus. Lovely. Once everyone's bags were loaded, we all boarded. There were two rows on either side of two seats each. Sally and Bret sat together, Emilia and Danielle sitting directly behind them. I sat down one seat back on the other row, allowing me to see my daughter and her mother. And of course Stan had to sit next to me. I stared out the window with my arms crossed as I waited for the bus to start moving. We sat in silence a while. I had the feeling I wasn't the only one who was listening to Emmy and Dani's enthusiastic conversation.

If I wasn't in such a foul mood, I probably would have smiled. Emilia was a lot like me in some ways. She always knew just what to say in order to make someone laugh. Unfortunately, she was also stubborn like me and hated to admit she was wrong. Stan turned his head to me after staring at them for some time.

"So," he said, a little awkwardly. "Where's your….you know….stick?"

I raised my eyebrows at him a moment before turning my gaze back to the window. The city was flashing by now as the bus continued to pick up speed.

"Why?" I asked as I looked over. "You want me to show you a demonstration? You'd look great in a dress, no doubt."

Stan laughed nervously. "No, no, that's alright. I was just wondering. Danielle carries hers everywhere, you know. I honestly don't see how a stick is supposed to protect you. It seems a little silly to me."

"It wouldn't seem silly if you'd met Voldemort." I muttered to myself.

"What's that?"

"Nothing, mate. Just enjoy the ride."

Stan gave me a funny look, but I didn't care. He could think whatever he wanted about me. Little after an hour later we all go off the bus and then took taxis to the docks.

"Mom thought it would be fun to take a boat over to France." Danielle explained with a small laugh as we got out. I didn't know why she felt the need to clarify things for me, but I didn't say anything. I just nodded and grabbed our bags.

"Daddy!" Emilia said as she ran up to me. "We're going on a boat!"

I smiled. "I see that. It should be exciting; you've never been on one before."

She nodded vigorously as she started to skip alongside me. As we approached, Emilia started to slow down. Eventually she stopped completely, staring at the large ferry in front of us. I looked over and saw her eyes were wide as galleons.

"What's wrong, Emilia?" Danielle asked. Emmy glanced at her mother before returning her wary gaze to the ferry.

"Yeah, it's just a boat. Nothing to be afraid of." Stan said with an easy laugh. His comment irked me, though I knew he was just trying to be helpful.

"Hold these for me? Thanks." I said as I dropped mine and Emilia's bags into his arms. I left Stan with his startled expression and stepped toward Emmy. I knelt down on one knee so that I blocked her view of the boat and I could meet her eyes. I put my hands on her shoulders, rubbed my thumbs back and forth comfortingly.

"It's okay, love" I reassured her. "Nothing bad will happen, I promise. I'll keep you safe, okay?"

Emilia removed her gaze from over my shoulder and met my eyes. She bit down on her bottom lip between her teeth. There wasn't much my daughter was afraid of, but I could tell this was probably number one on her list right now.

"Do we have to, Daddy?" She asked in a very uncharacteristically small voice. "Can't we just Apparate to wherever we're going?"

"Sweetie, Sal—your….grandparents and Stan are Muggles. We can't use magic around them, remember?"

Emmy nodded and took in a deep breath. She forced herself to smile. That was my brave little girl. She nodded and wiped her eyes from the tears that had started to pool there.

"Okay. But will you hold my hand?"

"Of course, love." I said as I stood up, offering her my hand. She gripped it with her smaller one.

"We going or not?" I asked to no one in particular. I thought I saw Danielle flash me a look of…something. Sympathy, maybe? That wouldn't make much sense. We started towards the ferry again and I pushed all thoughts of Dani to the back of my mind.

Several minutes later we all waited while Bret went to buy our tickets. Stan dropped the two bags at my feet and I couldn't help but smirk at his irritated expression. When Bret returned and we prepared to board, Emilia squeezed my hand tighter. I tightened my grip a moment to reassure her. Bending down, I gripped the handles of our bags and lifted them. Then I followed the others onto the ferry.

"Everything's fine, love" I murmured as I looked down at Emmy. She nodded, but I knew she was still scared. She was just doing her best to put on a brave face. Honestly she was doing well. I was sure no one other than me could tell she was practically shaking unless they watched her for a long time. She was my daughter after all. Danielle took mine and Emilia's bag once we got to the ferry and carried them to the special baggage compartment.

"You okay, sweetie?" She asked Emilia, who smiled and nodded. Just as we sat down Emilia stifled a large yawn.

"Are you having a good time, Emilia?" Stan asked. I couldn't tell if he was just being a complete wanker, or if he really was that thick. I resisted the urge to glare at him. Beside me Emmy nodded, though her eyes were still much too wide.

"You want to sit over here, sweetie?" Danielle asked, though I could tell she was starting to realize that something wasn't right. Emilia shook her head and her grip tightened again when the ferry horn blazed and the boat lurched forward.

"No, I think I'll stay with Daddy." She said. Danielle just nodded. That gave me an odd sense of satisfaction, knowing that I was still the one Emmy went to when she got scared. She knew that I would always be there.

It didn't take long before Emilia was in my lap, her arms wrapped around me and her head resting against my chest. She stared out the window at the lapping blue waves. I rubbed her back comfortingly. Within five minutes Emilia's eyes were sagging closed. I knew she hadn't slept much the night before from excitement—mostly because she had slept in my bed—so it was good for her to take a nap.

While she slept I purposefully slid my wand from my sleeve and transferred it to my pant leg, where I tucked the tip into my boot. Stan's eyes got wide for a moment, but then he realized that I wasn't pointing it at him and they returned to normal. Dani eyed me curiously, as if asking why that had been necessary. If she'd actually asked, I would have told it wasn't and she would have rolled her eyes. At least, I knew that's what she would have done seven years ago. At this point, I wasn't sure if she was that same Danielle Wilson. Even so, I couldn't seem to rid myself of her image, not even when I was asleep.

Last night's dreams had been filled with Danielle and Emilia, replaying the days at Hogwarts, the day she'd given me Emilia over and over. In her sleep, Emilia took in a shaky deep breath and then let it out. Across from me, Stan put his lips close to Dani's ear. From the way she glanced at me furtively I knew he'd said something about me. She turned back to him, and Stan caught her chin with his hand. He put his lips to hers, kissing her long and slow.

Clenching my jaw, I turned to stare out the window. I knew he was doing it on purpose, just to make me uncomfortable. The git. I tried to ignore the sharp dagger of pain that jabbed at me, but it was a lot easier said than done. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like someone had cast a magical rope around my heart and was slowly tightening it. After several torturous seconds, Danielle pushed him away gently. From the corner of my eye I saw her glance at me, then give Stan a meaningful look.

She cleared her throat. "So, Sirius…..how is the gang?"

I turned my head back to the couple across from me, not failing to notice that they held hands. I smiled, though it was a little stiff.

"They're good. James and Lily have two kids."

"So they did get married?" Danielle asked with a small laugh. "I've always wondered if they stayed together."

"'Course they did," I said. "They were always meant to be together. Lily was just too damn stubborn to admit it."

I refused to break eye contact as I said it. The way Dani averted her eyes and looked at the ground proved she'd understood my underlying message. How could she think we weren't meant to be together?

She nodded. "That's true I guess. How about Remus and Peter?"

"Fine as well. Peter's married now, and Remus is engaged."

"That's wonderful! I'm glad they found someone special. What about you, Sirius? Are you…..well, serious, about anyone?"

I chuckled at her unintentional pun and shrugged. I grinned over at her and twitched my eyebrows up for a fraction of a second.

"You know me. The ladies can never get enough."

Something like disguised disappointment flashed briefly through Dani's mocha-colored eyes. I stopped myself from frowning just in time. Why would she be disappointed that I was dating, even though that had been a lie? I couldn't remember the last time I'd been on a date. Emilia encouraged me to, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. It wasn't fair to lead a woman on when I had no intention of having a committed relationship with her. I'd grown up in that way, at least. Danielle had shown me how painful it was to be rejected, to have your heartbroken.

Stan snorted softly. "I can't imagine why."

I sent him a dirty look. "That's because you couldn't recognize a beautiful woman even if she fell out of the sky and landed in front of you."

"Why would I need a beautiful woman from the sky when I have the most amazing, gorgeous woman already beside me?"

I clenched my jaw and turned back to the window. I was already hating my decision. I wouldn't have minded, except Stanley seemed to take it as his personal mission to make this trip hell for me.


	10. Love, Hate

**Hey guys! I made it safely and now here's your chapter! =] It's a day late, but I hope you like it anyway. Love you all! Comments are always appreciated. **

**~Ouaysis. **

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><p>We got to the hotel late that night. Instead of renting another suite, everyone—and by that I mean Sally and Bret—decided that it would be best to just have Bret and Stan join Danielle and her mother. Emilia and I would have the other room. Originally the men were to have one room and the women another. Knowing that Danielle and Stan were sharing a room—and probably a bed—brought an unpleasant taste to my mouth. It angered me to see how much more accepted Stan was. If I had been in his place, Bret wouldn't even have allowed me on the trip, much less <em>share a room<em>. But then again, I'd lived with unfairness my entire life and I wouldn't let it get to me. I'd never cared before when someone didn't like me. Why should Bret be any different?

I sighed and sifted my weight. I looked out at the view of the city. Lights sparkled and the bustle of cars was a soft background. My mirror glinted in the light of moon and I glanced down at it. I'd been hoping James would be nearby, but he didn't seem to be anywhere close. I heard a small tap on the open doors behind me, expecting to see Emmy. When I saw Danielle in the doorway my heart all but stopped. She stepped out into the moonlight and took my breath away. Dani smiled nervously, her hands twitching towards the door.

"Emilia let me in." She explained.

I shook my head, though a smile came to my lips.

"She's supposed to be asleep."

Danielle smiled and extended her arms, gripping the banister a couple of feet in front of us. I set the two-way mirror down on the cushioned chaise, placing it so that the glass faced the material. A moment of silence passed with both Dani and I listening to the distant sounds of the city of Calais.

"You need to move on, Sirius."

Her abrupt statement startled me. I looked over at her, a frown twisting my features.

"How do you mean?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"I'm getting married in three months."

"I haven't noticed." I said sarcastically, avoiding her gaze.

Danielle sighed deeply beside me.

"Are you happy?" I asked her after another moment of silence. Dani pushed back and forth against the bar wordlessly a moment. Finally she nodded.

"Yes. I love him. He loves me, and he's not afraid to say it."

"Oh, come on, you're not still on about that are you? It was eight years ago, Dani. I was young and stupid."

Danielle just shrugged.

"I've changed." I told her. "We both have."

"I know. And that's the problem. You haven't seen me in years, so how can you know I'm the same?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does, Sirius. To me it does."

I scoffed. "That's easy for you to say. You seem to have no problem forgetting about me. How can you even stand him? He's a complete prick!"

"He's a nice guy, Sirius."

"And since when do you like 'nice guys'?"

"Since I realized they'd always be there for me."

Hurt stabbed at me. She thought I wouldn't have always been there for her? I would have died for her. I would _still_ die for her. I would bet my entire family's fortune that the same couldn't be said for _Stanley_. One look at a wizard and he'd run away with his tail between his legs.

"What kind of an arse did you take me for?"

"We were young, Sirius. Teenagers. It was just hormones raging."

I shook my head and expressed my disgust in my features. "Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart."

"It's true!"

"Alright, it's true! And I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Don't be an asshole, Sirius."

"I'm not. But I don't know how you can stand there and say we have a daughter purely because of a chemical reaction in our brains. It was real to me, Dani. I _know_ you felt it too."

"Well it doesn't matter, because you have to move on."

"I don't _have_ to do anything. I'm an adult. I can do whatever I damn well please."

"You sound more like a pouting child to me."

I narrowed my eyes at her, crossing my arms over my chest. Danielle slowly folded her own arms, turning her body towards me. Her mocha-colored eyes met mine and I felt my demeanor change. My shoulders relaxed, my scowl softened. My breath caught in my chest and before I could stop myself I'd pulled her into my arms. After a moment she stepped back, turning her head away from me. I reached out and brushed my knuckles lightly over her cheek. Danielle looked up.

"I will _never_ be able to stop loving you, Danielle. It's impossible. So please, don't ask me to."

She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off by placing my index finger over her full lips. I stopped my hand from trembling and dropped it quickly.

"I'm not going to ask you to take me back. We're over. I get that. Just promise me that you're not marrying Stanley only because your father approves."

Danielle scowled at me and shook her head.

"Of course not."

Clenching my jaw, I gave a short nod.

"Then I'm happy."

Dani gave a small laugh and shook her head once more. "Don't lie, Sirius."

"I'm not," I told her, not breaking her gaze. "I'm happy if you are."

That may not have been entirely true, but I did want her to be happy. And I also knew that she hated disappointing her father. I had been the only one she'd ever dated who her father hadn't approved of. He still didn't approve of me, and obviously we never stood a chance of ever being together again. Danielle sucked in a deep breath and then let it out.

She gave a small nod. "Well, I'd better get back. I told the others I was saying goodnight to Emilia. I'll see you in the morning."

I nodded. "Night."

I heard the suit door click closed and dragged a hand down my face. Picking up my mirror, I closed the doors to the balcony. I stopped in the doorway of Emilia's room. She was curled around her stuffed animal, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The sight brought a smile to my lips and reminded me why this was all worth it. If Emmy was happy, then I was happy. That, at least, was true. My daughter made everything worth it.

* * *

><p>"I know what you're doing, boy, and it's not going to work." Bret growled from behind me, causing me to jump slightly. I turned with a scowl.<p>

"I'm not doing anything except allowing my daughter to spend time with her mother."

I'd thought I was alone here at the bottom of the old French fort. Everyone was inside, enjoying the tour. I wasn't interested in hearing all about Muggle fortresses of old or watching Stan and Dani together. So I'd told everyone to go without me, while I stared out at the water and tried not to sulk. Bret crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at me.

"You're using her to get to Danielle."

Anger coursed through me. I clenched my jaw tightly, my hands balled in fists at my sides.

"Look, _Bret_," I said. "I know what you think of me. And I honestly couldn't care less. But don't you _dare_ suggest that I am using my daughter to win Danielle back. This isn't a competition. Danielle isn't just some prize that can be _won_, at any rate. I never asked to be dragged on this bloody trip. I didn't ask for any of this. So you can take your opinions and shove them up your rich, judgmental ar—"

Just then everyone else appeared at the entrance. Emilia was bounding toward me.

"Daddy!" She shouted, her face alighted with joy. A smile sprang to my lips of its own accord. I could never be angry when Emmy was around. I caught her as she threw herself into my arms and laughed.

"You had fun up there, I take it?"

She nodded vigorously. "Lots of fun, Daddy! I got to go to the very top! And the nice man gave me a candy for being so brave. I even walked on the wall!"

Looking up, my stomach nearly dropped to the ground. At the very top of the fortress I could see people milling around. It was at least a hundred foot drop. She'd climbed on the wall? What were they thinking? I forced a smile and a tight laugh.

"That's great, love. I'm glad you're having fun." I put her down and Emmy went over to Sally, who pointed out some ducks in the water.

"Danielle." I said, meeting her gaze and trying to keep my voice level. I jerked my head to the left and walked to a secluded spot a little ways away from our small group. Danielle twisted her engagement ring nervously as she looked up at me.

"You let her _climb the wall_?" I demanded angrily. "Are you completely _mental_? She could have fallen. She could have died!"

Danielle sighed. "I didn't _let_ her, Sirius, she ran off before we could stop her. It wasn't even that bad. There was another floor right below us. It wasn't that dangerous."

I scoffed. "Sure it wasn't. She only could have broken her neck on the way down."

"You're over-reacting, Sirius." Danielle said.

"She's my daughter. It's my job to protect her. I think I have a right to be upset."

"She's my daughter too!" Danielle said indignantly. "And I nearly had a heart attack when she did it, but you don't see me throwing a fit about it."

"Giving birth to her can hardly count as making her yours. I've raised her single-handedly for seven years. I know her fears and her dreams. What do you know?"

Hurt shone in Danielle's eyes. Water filled the mocha orbs a moment, but she quickly pushed it away.

"That's hardly fair, Sirius."

"Life isn't fair, Danielle. The way I see it, Emilia is _my_ daughter. I'd duel Voldemort to protect her—"

"—And I wouldn't?"

"You gave up every right to claim Emilia the day you left us."

Tears filled her eyes again, and I hated that I was the reason for them. But I wasn't going to apologize, and I sure as hell wasn't giving in.

"I did what I had to." She whispered.

"No," I said with a shake of my head. "You did what your father would have wanted you to. And don't even try and put this on me. You made your bed, Danielle. Now you have to lay in it. I'm allowing Emilia to be here because I want her to get to know you. This is for her and her alone. Don't forget that."

I stalked away, the anger slowly ebbing from my veins. I heaved a sigh and rubbed the back of my neck. From the corner of my eye I saw Stan approach me and I refrained the urge to scream.

"What did you tell her?" He demanded. I glared at him.

"Stay the hell out of it, Stanley."

"It wasn't her fault. Emilia ran off. None of us could have stopped her."

I whipped my wand out and pressed its tip to Stan's chest.

"I don't give a damn whether or not it was her fault. It still happened. And if you were smart you'd do as you're told and stay out of other people's business."

He nodded and swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. Turning, I tucked my wand back into my pocket and walked away. Blowing air out of my lips, I closed my eyes. I needed to clear my head. I was letting all the stress and emotions get to me. I felt like I was on a wild dragon as it dipped and spun and tried to buck me off of its back. Glancing over at Sally, I assured myself that Emilia was safe for the moment and walked over to a group of trees.

It had only been two days and it was already getting to be too much. Being around Danielle constantly was torture. She was an invariable reminder of what I could never have. I'd always hated emotions, ever since I was a child. It was easier to just live, not to get attached. You didn't get hurt that way. _So much for that_, I thought bitterly, shaking my head. I took a deep, calming breath of the crisp French air. Turning, I walked slowly back to the group. As I headed over to Emmy, I overheard Danielle talking to her father.

"This isn't his fault, Dad." She insisted. "_I_ invited him. If you're not nice, he's going to leave."

"And that's a bad thing?" Bret asked. Danielle huffed.

"Dad. If Sirius leaves, then so does Emilia. Don't you want to get to know your granddaughter?"

Bret sighed. "If he doesn't keep his hands to himself—"

"_Don't_ even start." Dani said in exasperation. "It was a simple hug. He didn't mean anything by it."

That's when I realized Bret had been watching us last night. He'd seen everything, and he was blaming it on me. I would admit that I let myself go a little too far. But a hug was harmless, and she'd hugged me as well. It wasn't one sided, so how was I the only one in the wrong? She was the one who was engaged. Anger coursed through my veins and I clenched my jaw as I walked over to Emilia.

"What's wrong, Daddy?" She asked, looking up at me with concern in her big brown eyes. I smiled and ruffled her hair.

"Nothing, love. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Oh." She said thoughtfully. "Daddy, do you still love Mummy?"

I stared down at my daughter, once again astonished by her ability to understand things so far above her. I smiled and scoffed, shaking my head. I picked Emilia up and she wrapped her legs around my waist, while I circled my arms under her.

"Yes, I still love your mother. She gave me you, the best thing I could have ever asked for. But that's as far as it goes. We're only friends."

"Oh." That one syllable sounded so sad it made my heartache.

"Why?" I asked. Emmy shrugged, avoiding my gaze and picking at her jeans.

"Emilia," I said softly. She looked up at me. "Why do you want to know?"

"Well," she said slowly. "I just thought, if you still loved each other….why don't you get married?"

"Emmy," I said, putting her head to my chest and kissing her temple. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "I'm sorry, but things just aren't that easy."

Emilia sat up again and looked at me with sad brown eyes. "I wish they were."

I gave her a sad smile. "Me, too, love. Me, too."


	11. Streetlights of Paris

**Hey everyone! =] New chapter! I wasn't sure if I would be able to update today, but I've managed to. And guess where I went yesterday...The Wizarding World of Harry Potter! AHHH! It was freaking AWESOME! If you ever get the chance to go, TAKE IT! hahah. Anyways, without further ado, here's the chapter. Love you!**

**~Ouaysis.**

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><p>"You're accepting Dumbledore's offer?" I asked James. He exhaled heavily and ran a hand through his hair like he was in the habit of doing. The black hair became even messier as he dropped his hand back to his lap. Finally he nodded.<p>

"Yes."

Silence weighted heavily between us and I wished I could be talking with him in person. The mirror wasn't an ideal way to have a conversation like this. Of course, I _could_ join him—it would only be too easy to Apparate there and back. But everyone was getting ready to leave for Paris, so I couldn't leave now. I nodded slowly.

"How is Lily handling it?" I wondered. Dumbledore had extended to James the offer of accompanying him on his mission and perhaps changing the odds of the war. The same offer that I had denied. I was happy to know the fate of our world was in good hands, but also worried. And I never would admit either. James shrugged.

"She understands. She's worried, but I can't blame her. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit scared myself. Did he tell you what all this is about?"

I shook my head. "No. Only that it was dangerous and crucial to defeating Voldemort."

I heard a noise from inside the living room of the hotel suite and looked behind me. All I saw was my closed door. I turned back to James.

"I think someone just came in. One minute, mate."

Standing up, I turned the mirror around so no one could see James and opened my bedroom door. I nearly ran into Danielle as I stepped into the hallway. Swearing under my breath, I stepped back.

"You know, you really should learn to knock." I said sourly, scowling at her.

"Emilia let me in."

"Of course she did," I muttered under my breath, shaking my head. "You can't just go round sneaking into people's hotel rooms."

"I wasn't sneaking." She said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What do you want?" I asked, wincing inside at the harsh way it came out. I didn't move my expression from the scowl.

"I came to tell you we're leaving in ten minutes." Her tone was colder than it had been moments before. "If you're not there we'll leave without you."

I scoffed. "And I'll report you for kidnapping. Your father would just _love_ having that in the papers, wouldn't he? Oh, and not to mention the illegitimate granddaughter no one knew about until this summer."

"Ten minutes." She said, narrowing her eyes at me.

"I'll be there." I told her. Danielle gave a curt nod before turning and walking away. I closed my eyes a moment before going back to the desk in the corner.

"Sorry." I apologized to James. He grinned and raised his eyebrows.

"Danielle?"

"She still doesn't know what knocking means." I told him. "I can't count how many times she's just walked in on this damn trip."

"It's only been four days."

"Exactly." I said, rubbing the palms of my hand against my face. Leaning back in my chair, I sighed. "How's Moony?"

"He's okay. You know the transformation's always worse when we can't be there. I think Pete went over, but there's not all that much he can do, you know?"

I nodded. Feeling sorry for Remus was better than feeling sorry for myself. Blowing air out of my lips, I glanced at my closed door.

"I'd better make sure Emmy's ready to go."

James nodded and looked over at something I couldn't see. "I have to go as well."

"Don't get yourself killed while you're out there saving the world." I told him.

"I won't. Don't kill Danielle."

I laughed humorlessly. "I can't guarantee anything."

James gave me a knowing look before standing up, taking his mirror in his hands.

"Bye, Padfoot."

"Goodbye, Prongs." I said, not able to hold back the small smile that came to my lips. Once my mirror was vacant of James' form I slid it into my bag and then went to check on Emilia.

"Everything packed in here?" I asked, knocking on Emmy's door before walking in. She looked up from the picture she'd been drawing and closed the notebook I had never seen before. Emilia nodded and slid off the chair.

"Were did that come from?" I asked, gesturing to the notebook.

"It's a sketchbook." She told me. "Mummy gave it to me this morning."

I just nodded. Now she was trying to win Emmy over with gifts? Did she know nothing about me? I wasn't the kind to be bought, and neither was my daughter. Danielle should know I would never put up with that kind of thing. Shaking my head, I took Emilia's bag to the front door. I sighed and realized that maybe I wasn't being completely fair. Danielle would never try to buy our daughter's love; she wasn't like that either. If she'd given the book to Emilia, then it had simply been a gift. Perhaps she was trying to make up for the seven years she wasn't in Emmy's life. Doubling back, I grabbed my own before taking both of them out into the hallway. Danielle and Stan were there, discussing something. They stopped talking and stared at me as I place our bags in the pile accumulated between our doors.

"Something wrong?" I asked. Danielle shook her head a little too vigorously.

"Fine." She said, smiling at me. Rolling my eyes, I went back into my suite. It couldn't have been more obvious that they'd been talking about me if there had been a huge sign above their heads.

"Come on Emmy-Bear, it's time to go." I called out to her.

"Coming, Daddy!" I heard her reply. Moments later she appeared, carrying her stuffed dog in her arms and her knapsack over her shoulder. I'd always thought it a bit odd that Emilia had chosen a big, black dog when I'd taken her to the Muggle store selling stuffed animal toys. At least Harry hadn't got a stag. That would have just been creepy.

"Ready, love?" I asked. Emilia nodded with a smile. Taking her hand, I led her out the door. Bret and Sally were there as well. I handed Bret my room card for him to check out.

It took nearly all day to get to Paris by train. I didn't know how Muggles could stand the amount of time it took to travel. I was edgy enough as it was, I didn't need to be stuck in a train car for hours on end with Danielle and her family. Unfortunately, I didn't have a choice. And Sally just _had _to choose the longest possible route in order to "see as much as possible", in her words. It was time for supper when we finally arrived, so after checking into our hotel we found a restaurant.

"Emilia, would you like to come to our room for a few hours before bed?" Sally asked, glancing over at me. "Your father would love a break, I'm sure."

Emmy grinned and nodded.

"Can I, Daddy?"

I looked down and had to smile at her enthusiasm. If I said no, she'd be disappointed but I knew she wouldn't show it. She'd make an excuse so that the others wouldn't question my decision. She had learned long ago not to question me. I always had a reason for what I did and did not allow her to do, it just wasn't always appropriate for her to know them. I nodded at last and she wiggled in excitement.

"Yes, that would be fine." I said with a smile. She'd been good so far, besides the incident at the castle. I knew she was aware that I didn't much care for Danielle's family, but I didn't want her to think the same.

"Actually, I think that's a brilliant idea."

* * *

><p>"Are you drunk?"<p>

Looking up, I scowled and shook my head. When had she come down here? I took in a deep breath and I let it out moments later. It was exactly because of that attitude and those kind of remarks that I needed a drink in the first place. Though Muggle alcohol wasn't nearly as good as Firewhiskey, it did its job. I put the bottle to my lips and took another drink, waiting a long moment before swallowing. Danielle eyed me as she came to stand beside me. She looked out at the Paris night sky beside me.

"Of course not, Emmy's not even asleep. What kind of a father do you take me for?"

Danielle looked stricken. "No, that's not what I—It was just a…."

I shook my head. "You said yourself, Danielle, we're not the same people we were. I've realized there's something more important in life than me."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Contrary to popular opinion, I'd never thought I was the most important thing in life. Quite the opposite, honestly. But it was easier to pretend I did; it hurt less to be cocky and arrogant. At least that way people wouldn't get close enough to hurt you. James, one of the few thick enough to care anyway, showed me that I wasn't the scum my mum thought I was—the scum she'd made me think I was. I was just telling Dani what she wanted to hear, because I knew that's what she thought, even if it had been a long time ago. She open and closed her mouth, but then left it shut and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Thank you." I said, surprising even myself. I hadn't meant to say that out loud…. _Damn_, I thought to myself.

Danielle looked up at me, startled. "What on earth for?"

Knowing I'd done myself in and I couldn't get out of it now, I took in a deep breath. "If you hadn't have left that day, I wouldn't be the man that I am now. I wouldn't have had a reason to change."

She nodded, looking down at the ground thoughtfully. It was true, I wouldn't. I would probably still be reckless and irresponsible if not for Emilia. Danielle looked up and met my eyes.

"I'm sorry."

I raised my eyebrows. "For?"

"I've been kind of an ass lately." She said, giving me a small, apologetic smile.

"Only kind of?"

She rolled her eyes and pushed against my arm. We stood together on the balcony in silence a moment. I offered her the bottle and Danielle looked at it a moment before shrugging and putting it to her lips.

"How's everyone taking it so far?" I asked, taking another drink when she handed it back.

Danielle sighed deeply. "Mum's accepted it well; she's just thrilled to have a granddaughter. Stan already knew. I think he's taking well to Emilia, though. He's not really a kid person, but he likes her and she likes him. Dad's still furious that I didn't tell him, but he's warming to Emilia as well. He was talking to her earlier before I left."

I nodded thoughtfully. Was Bret finally accepting that his daughter wasn't as perfect as he'd like to believe? In school Danielle had done all varieties of things she knew he wouldn't have approved of. It was her rebellion, in her own little way. But then as we got older she'd become more responsible, more obedient. Yet I'd still loved her, because that was who she was. Ee hadn't started to date until sixth year, but I fell in love with her much sooner than that. I set the bottle of whiskey on the ground and turned to Danielle.

"We should do something. Something crazy and irresponsible…..something fun."

She looked up at me through her thick, luscious lashes. A scowl twisted her features.

"I don't know….." She shook her head. "We really shouldn't."

"But that's the fun of it." I insisted. "C'_mon_, Dani. What happened to the girl who loved adventures?"

"She grew up."

I scoffed. "Growing up is rubbish."

"Yeah, well, life isn't about just having fun."

"'Course it is. Oh my dear, there is so much you still have to learn."

Danielle's eyes darted around as she thought it over. Rolling my eyes, I stepped closer. I did my best to ignore the electricity that sparked between us as I took her hands in mine. I started to back up and finally she sighed, her face splitting into a grin.

"Oh, alright."

Moments later we were in Danielle's hotel room, informing the others of our plans.

"Sirius and I are going out. Would anyone like to join us?

Emilia was on Sally's lap and they were reading a book. Bret was flipping through television channels and Stan was on his laptop, set up on a table in the corner. At the announcement Bret started to get up, but then sat back down heavily when Sally shot him a look. I stepped closer to the couch.

"Emmy, you listen to your grandmother and go to bed when she tells you. We'll be back in a bit." I promised, leaning down to give her a kiss. "I love you."

She smiled at me and wrapped her small arms around my shoulders. "I love you more."

I hugged her back and then ruffled her hair as I straightened.

"Shall we go?" I asked Danielle, who nodded. We left the hotel and soon were stepping out onto the Parisian street.

"Where are we going?"

I shrugged. "We're in the City of Love. We can do anything we'd like."

"Don't, Sirius." Dani said, giving me a look of reprimand.

"Don't what?"

"You know what." She said coolly.

"Relax, Danielle. We're supposed to be having fun. Come on." I started forward, heading to the illuminated Eiffel Tower. The entire city was lit up, sparkling with various colors of lights. I couldn't help but smile. We stopped several meters away from the base and looked up.

"Beautiful…" Dani muttered breathlessly. I nodded, though I wasn't looking at Muggle architecture, but at her.

"Let's go up there." I said suddenly and Danielle looked over at me, startled.

"What? No, it's closed. We can't—"

Before she could protest further, I grabbed her hand and spun around. Next moment we were on the look-out, gazing down at the shining city.

"We shouldn't be here," Dani said, chewing her bottom lip worriedly.

"You need to relax." I told her, stepping behind her. Reaching up, I started to massage her shoulders gently. Danielle closed her eyes and let out a long breath.

"Don't take life so seriously." I said in her ear. "After all, I should know."

Danielle laughed softly and shook her head. But she also relaxed against me as I continued to massage her shoulders. A part of me knew I shouldn't be doing this, but the other, larger part didn't care. For a moment, it was just like old times when it was just me and Danielle and the love that we shared. And if I closed my eyes and thought hard enough, I could almost forget the fact that she no longer loved me and that she was marrying someone else in less than seventy days.


	12. Waterfront Confessions

**Hey guys! I can't believe I actually finished this in time. o.O I cut it pretty close hahah (just finished yesterday). I apologize that the beginning is a bit rushed, but I hope you like it. I added this in as an extra chapter and it wasn't in the originial draft. That's okay though. =] Let me know what you think! Love you all!**

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>Our next stop was the French Riviera, much to Emilia's pleasure. Bret and Stanley decided to stay in the hotel room when Emmy asked who wanted to go to the beach. Bret claimed he had a business meeting and Stan was talking to his mother on his mobile.<p>

"Will you come, Grandma? Please?" Emilia begged Sally. Danielle's mother laughed and nodded.

"Sure I will, dear. Let me go change."

Danielle came out wearing a solid blue bikini. I couldn't help from staring a moment, but then I caught myself and forced my gaze away. Once everyone was dressed the four of us went down to the beach. Emmy dragged me forward into the water.

"C'mon, Daddy," she insisted.

"I never said I was getting in the water!" I protested, but Emmy would have none of it.

She pulled on my arm, trying to pull me forward into the surf. I sighed and rolled my eyes before stepping forward. Emilia tumbled backwards into the water, but she didn't seem to mind. Danielle laughed and I turned to see her coming up behind me.

"Yeah, Sirius, you can't go to the beach and not go swimming."

"Is that a challenge?" I asked. Dani shook her head, her eyes shining as she smiled.

"Just come on," she said, putting her hands on my back and pushing me forward. I did my best to ignore the way I was hyper-aware of her skin on mine. With Emilia and Danielle teamed up against me I had no choice but to go into the water.

"If that's the way you want to be!" I said, picking up Emilia and then tossing her back into the water. Her screams quickly turned into laughter.

For a brief time it felt like we were a family, Danielle, Emilia, and I. After about an hour in the water Emmy decided to make a castle on the beach. Sally helped her while Danielle and I sat down on the blanket Sally had stretched out on the sand.

"Mummy, Daddy, look what I found!" Emilia said, running up with something clutched in her fist. She squatted in front of us and extended her hand to display her shell. Danielle smiled and took it.

"It's beautiful, Emmy." She handed it back to Emilia. "You can decorate your castle with it."

"Will you help me?"

Dani offered Emmy her hand and stood up.

"Of course I will. We can look for more and use those, too."

I watched as my daughter and her mother walked toward the water, stopping just beyond where the waves washed up onto the shore. A smile came to my lips as I watched them construct a castle in the sand. Once they were finished they came back to the blanket so that we could eat the picnic lunch Sally had brought.

"I'm going for a walk," Sally announced after we'd eaten and everything had been cleaned up. "Would anyone care to join me?"

"I'll go!" Emmy said, bouncing up.

"Hold on," Danielle said as she reached for the sunscreen. "You need some more of this first."

Emilia made a face, but allowed Dani to apply the lotion before skipping after Sally.

"What?" Danielle asked, looking back and seeing my amused smile. I shook my head.

"Nothing."

It made me happy to see the joy in her eyes when she mothered Emilia. Little moments like these almost made the trip worth all the pain. For a long moment we sat silently on the beach together, soaking in the sun.

"How did you stand it?" I wondered aloud. I looked over at her and knew that she understood my question.

"It was hard sometimes… But knowing she was with you, and that you would take good care of her, made it easier."

"You actually thought that?" I asked in surprise.

Danielle nodded. "Yes. You were always so negative about your parents—and with good reason—I wasn't sure how you would take being one yourself. I know I was wrong to keep her from you the time I did."

"Then why did you?"

Dani bit her bottom lip, staring out at the waves a long moment. It seemed I couldn't keep my eyes from her face. I watched, holding my breath as I silently willed her to reply.

"I was scared…" she admitted finally. "And confused….and, so many other things."

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brow at her. She took in a deep breath and fiddled with the sand, drawing in it absently with her index finger.

"Danielle?"

She looked up at me reluctantly.

"To be honest, I was in kind of a dark place when Emilia was first born. Hardly anyone knew about her, and my internship at the Ministry was coming to an end. I had been offered a position at the American Ministry, but I didn't know what I was going to do with her. I didn't want to give her up….but I also didn't want to disappoint my father. I knew that if I returned home Dad would have a fit. I would never have been able to stand up to him; Emilia would have ended up with adoptive parents. At the same time, adoption would have been complicated so much more by the fact that you didn't even know about her and she's an English citizen."

Danielle sighed and shifted her position. I had a feeling that she hadn't told many people how she felt all those years ago. Had she and precious Stanley talked about this?

"My friend Josephine was the only other person who knew about Emilia, but she still doesn't know who the father is. I refused to tell her. I don't know if you know about this….But the last few weeks, before I broke up with you on the night before graduation… There were some rumors going around school about me. That I was unfaithful."

I swallowed hard as I stared at her. Was she admitting that they were true? I still remembered quite clearly those rumors; I'd never addressed them, but after Danielle broke up with me, especially during the train ride home, I couldn't help but wonder if they had been true.

"What are you saying?" I asked dubiously.

Danielle's laugh was void of all humor. "They weren't true, Sirius. What I'm saying is that I started them. If people were uncertain about my faithfulness to you, then if news of my pregnancy somehow got out, they couldn't immediately connect the baby to you."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I didn't want to do that to you," she said simply. "You wanted so badly to be an Auror… I would have never forgiven myself if you gave up everything for Emilia."

"What?" I demanded, "Danielle, how could y—?"

"Sirius," Danielle said firmly, meeting my eyes. "If I had told you that night, can you honestly tell me that you would have continued on to be an Auror?"

"No," I admitted. "But you can't say for certain that I wouldn't have."

"Sirius..." she said again, more gently. I was surprised when she reached out and placed her hand briefly over mine. "You're a good man. You've always been a good man. Why do you think I fell in love with you?"

"My good looks and charm," I said with a grin. Danielle rolled her eyes and tossed a handful of sand at me.

"Not even close."

We laughed, and for a moment it felt like we were teenagers again. This was the first time Danielle and I had got along for more than five minutes. Her story made me realize that maybe I had been a little harsh on her the past few weeks. I had always assumed that Danielle had given Emilia to me simply because Bret wouldn't have approved. But now I knew that there was more to it than that. After a long moment of silence Danielle looked up again.

"It tore me apart inside to give her up, but I knew that you could give her so much more than me. It wasn't really 'giving her up', anyways, as you're her father. When I got home everyone assumed that I was still broken up about you. You don't know how many times I was _so close_ to telling my mother…. But I never did, because I knew if I did she would have to tell Dad."

I shook my head. "What is it with you, Danielle? You let him control your life."

Dani scowled at me. "No I don't."

Raising my eyebrows in a challenge, I met her eyes. She sighed deeply.

"Alright, maybe a little. But that's just the way things are."

"They weren't always," I reminded her, thinking of the times in school when Danielle quietly rebelled against her father.

Danielle sighed once more and shook her head. "Can we not talk about this?"

I shrugged and stretched my arms out behind me. Sally and Emilia came back from their walk several moments later.

"Did you have fun, love?" I asked with a smile as Emmy bounded up to me. She nodded and wrapped her arms around me briefly.

"Such a beautiful day," Sally commented. "Too bad your father and Stan are being anti-social. Sometimes they're so much alike it's scary."

Danielle laughed and I caught her as she sent me a side-long glance. I smirked but didn't say anything.

* * *

><p>Dani insisted on helping me with Emmy that night. I tried to convince her that Emilia practically took care of herself, but she wouldn't listen. So we supervised together as Emilia went around the suite preparing for bed. She hummed absently, and that, paired with the vision of her stuffed dog tucked under her arm, made me smile. At last she was ready, her teeth brushed and her hair combed. Emmy crawled into the large bed and I stepped forward to tuck her in.<p>

"Goodnight, Emmy-Bear." I said, leaning down and kissing her forehead.

"Night, Daddy," she said with a smile. She kissed my cheek, encircling her small arms around my neck for a moment.

"Ready for your story?"

Emilia smiled and nodded vigorously.

"Mummy?" She asked sleepily.

"Yes?"

"Will you stay here? At least until I fall asleep?"

"Of course I will, baby."

Danielle began just as Emmy stifled a large yawn. I listened absently as Dani recited a story I recognized as a Muggle fairy tale. It felt odd, having someone beside me to help when it came to Emilia. And not just anyone, but the mother of my daughter and the woman I loved. As I watched and felt the softening of my heart I knew I was in for it. This trip was going to be harder than I thought.


	13. Interrogations and Misconceptions

**Hey guys! Next chapter, as always. =] Hope you like it; reviews make my day! I love you all.**

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>It was odd to think that nearly a week and a half had passed. Things were going relatively well, which was also strange. After the night on the Eiffel Tower and the day at the beach, Danielle and I had made an unspoken agreement to be more understanding towards each other. Emilia was enjoying herself, and seeing her face, beaming with happiness and always smiling, made all the pain almost worth it. In order to ascertain that Emmy was safe and on her best behavior, I started participating in the tours with the group. They weren't as dreary as I'd originally assumed, and I'd even learned that some famous wizards had helped Muggles as well as the Wizarding World. While Danielle and Emilia searched the gift shop at or most recent stop (a cathedral in France) for small trinkets, I stood outside the shop waiting for everyone to finish.<p>

Just as I shifted my position to lean my hip against the wall, Stan came out of the store with his mobile phone ringing. He passed me without a glance and continued further down the hall. I heard him answer before he disappeared around the corner. Curious as to why he needed an empty hallway to take the call, I wandered closer to the other corridor. I pretended to examine the art on the walls casually with my hands in my pockets.

"Yes, I understand that." I heard him say, his tone frustrated. "I just don't see why this is necessary."

There was a pause before Stan sighed heavily and said, "Okay, yes, but—"

"No. Mother, listen to me." He said forcefully. She must have done as he'd asked because he continued. "I get that it's important for our companies to merge. But we don't even know if Danielle is going to accept being CEO of her father's company. He may appoint someone else to take over once he retires."

A scowl slowly started to crease my brow as Stan paused again.

"Yes. I care for her. But that doesn't necessarily mean I'm in love with her. We practically grew up together; she's one of my greatest friends."

Stan sighed again. "No, Mother. I want to marry someone who I'm in love with, not someone who I'm comfortable with. I know that's what you and Father did, but look where it landed you—No, that was not an insult, I was just stating a fact."

Stan wasn't in love with Danielle? He was only marrying her because of their parents' companies? Anger ignited inside of me, but then I remembered what he had said. He didn't _want_ to marry her. He didn't want to hurt her. A tiny bubble of hope started to form in my chest, but I popped it before it could cause any problems.

"There are other ways to merge the companies, and you know it." Stan said tensely. "Why do I have to do this? I'm not going to hurt her. She'll understand. Yes, I understand that she's in love with me. But honestly Mother, I think she's just fooling herself too. It wouldn't take her nearly as long to get over me as that other guy. You know, the one she had a fight with right before school ended and they broke up? Yes, him." Stan scoffed. "No, and you know it wouldn't."

My heart raced in my chest. What did this mean? I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear the end of Stan's conversation. Turning the corner, he started and came to a halt. He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously.

"What are you doing?" He demanded. I looked over at him, raising my eyebrows.

"Looking at paintings. What are you doing?"

He just grunted and walked passed me. As I moved on to the next painting, I fought an internal battle with myself. Should I tell Danielle what I'd overheard, or keep it to myself? I knew she wouldn't believe me if I did, but even then it might make her think twice. And if she started having doubts about Stanley…. _No, stop it Sirius_, I told myself. Sighing, I closed my eyes a moment against the pain. Even if she didn't marry Stan, there was no way we would ever have a chance together. Danielle's mind was set against us. It was impossible.

"Daddy?" My daughter's voice made me start. I looked down and automatically smiled, pushing the dilemma out of my mind.

"Yes, love?"

"It's time to go." She informed me. "Mummy wanted me to tell you."

I nodded. "I'm coming."

I offered her my hand and she took it. Together we joined the others where they stood by the doors. In the course of the next few days I thought over what was the best thing to do. I constantly changed my mind, one moment determined to tell Danielle and the next losing my nerve and deciding to keep it to myself. I also watched Dani and Stan more closely, though I did my best not to be conspicuous. It amazed me how Stan could tell his mother he wasn't in love with Dani and yet act the way he did.

He still was on his 'smart phone' or whatever it was called more than I thought necessary, but whenever he wasn't he was being the perfect fiancé. He spent time with both of Danielle's parents, interacted with Emilia, and of course showed his so-called affection for Danielle. Whenever they were near each other they were holding hands or were connected somehow, and every once in while they shared a small kiss. It made me sick. Knowing that Stanley didn't love Dani the way I did just made it worse. Every time I saw them as a couple, smiling at each other and being annoyingly perfect, the hole in my chest became bigger. It felt like my heart was slowly being torn to pieces. Soon we were in Austria and I was now eagerly counting down the days left. The first day, after touring several churches, we all went to lunch. Once we received our food, Sally turned to me.

"Tell me about yourself, Sirius." She said. I nearly choked on my food and had to take a drink to clear my throat.

"Er—excuse me?"

Sally smiled. "Tell me about yourself. You know, who are your parents, have you got any siblings?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. I felt like everyone at the table had stopped talking and was looking at me.

"Yes, tell us all about your undoubtedly wonderful life." Stanley said sarcastically. I saw Danielle shoot him a disapproving look, but he didn't seem to notice. I forced a laugh.

"I'm not that interesting, honestly. I'm not all that important."

"Nonsense," Sally said as she took a bite of food. The expectant look she gave me left no room for backing out. I sighed and set down my fork, glancing around fruitlessly for a moment.

"Er, what do you want to know?"

"Are your parents still alive?" Sally asked.

"No, but even when they were I didn't see them very often."

"Why's that?"

I shrugged, taking a bite of food to avoid having to answer right away. Why was she doing this to me? Couldn't she think of _any_thing else to talk about? By the look on Bret and Stan's faces, they wished the conversation would go somewhere else, too.

"We, er, didn't get along." I said after taking a drink as well.

Sally seemed saddened by the idea. "Oh. That's too bad."

I nodded for her sake, though I didn't agree.

"How about siblings?" Sally asked curiously. If I didn't know her, I would have thought she was doing this on purpose, to make me uncomfortable. But I knew that this was just who Sally was, and she truly was curious. I suppressed a sigh.

"I have a younger brother, Regulus. But I haven't seen him in several years."

"Seems like relationships aren't your strong point." Bret said, sending a pointed looked to Danielle. I tightened my grip on my fork and did my best to ignore him.

"Why don't you talk to your family, dear? Or didn't, I should say." Sally wanted to know. Was she really going to make me go into this? I hesitated before answering. I was keenly aware of Emilia and Danielle watching me from my left. I sighed.

"Conflicting opinions," I replied. "I didn't agree with my parents, and they didn't like that. As for Regulus….our relationship is very complicated."

"You disagreed on everything?" Stanley asked, sounding surprised. "I can understand that you didn't agree on some things, but so much that you didn't speak to each other?"

"If you knew my family you'd understand." I said, meeting his gaze calmly. A bunch of Muggles wouldn't understand the hatred my mother had had for any and everything Muggle-related. A wry smile came to my lips when I imagined what my mother would have done if she'd ever found out that I was in love with a Muggle born witch. Let alone the fact that we'd had a child together. Mum had never known Emmy was a half-blood, which was the way I had intended for it to be.

"That's why I'm glad I have you all now." Emilia said suddenly, looking from Sally to Bret. "Now I have grandparents. Even before when Grandma and Grandpa Black were alive, I didn't see them very often."

Bret scowled and looked over at Emmy, then at me.

"You didn't even let the girl see her grandparents?"

"It was safer for her that way." I said, anger starting to burn in my veins.

"Were you afraid they'd take Emilia away from you?"

I clenched my jaw. "No. And I don't have to justify my choices to you, or anyone else for that matter."

"It's okay," Emmy said, reaching over and patting Bret's arm. "Grandma Black was completely mental, and she didn't like me very much. I understand."

"What's that supposed to—?"

"Dad," Danielle said, sending her father a look. "Things were complicated with his parents, okay? There's no need to get into reasons why. That's just the way it was."

Danielle's parents both seemed to accept that Dani had just bared the subject of my parents and my relationship with them from conversation. I thanked her with my eyes and Dani gave a small smile, nodding ever so slightly. After lunch we did more sightseeing and by the time we got back to the hotel it was time for dinner. We ate at the restaurant right beside the hotel and then retired to our rooms. Emilia had just woken up from a short nap when there was a knock on the inter-connecting doors inside our suites. I waved my wand to unlock the door.

"It's open." I said, raising my voice slightly. Sally was in the doorway.

"Danielle and I were thinking of going down to the spa." She said. "And were wondering if Emilia would like to accompany us."

Emmy sat up and gasped, her face lit up. She looked over at me.

"Can I, Daddy? Can I?"

I laughed. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

She let out a delighted squeal and hugged me tight. I hugged her back, laughing.

"Have fun, love." I kissed the top of her head. Emilia nodded before putting her dog down on the bed and slipping her shoes on. Then she hurried over to Sally. Emmy waved and closed the door behind her. I shook my head, a smile still on my lips. Taking in a deep breath, I released it moments later.

Standing up and turning off the television, I decided to take a walk. The hotel had a wonderful view of all the landscape of Vienna. The building was on the outskirts of the city and the Austrian countryside surrounded us. One of the most striking things about Austria was its beauty. I'd always loved nature, though that might sound odd. A lot of times, all I had as a child were trees and wild animals in the local park nearby. I'd sit at that park for hours, not wanting to go home because then I would have to face my mother. I'd stopped and was leaning against the trunk of a large tree when I heard someone coming from behind. Turning, I was surprised to see Danielle approaching me.

"I thought you were going to the spa?"

Dani shrugged and came to a halt beside me. "I thought a walk would do me more good."

"What's wrong?" She asked. I looked over at her. She'd always been able to read me better than anyone I knew, except maybe James.

"Nothing." I lied, hoping she'd leave it alone. Danielle gave me a look, and I knew she wasn't fooled. I sighed and started walking again. Danielle easily kept pace with me. For a moment, I was reminded of the many times we'd walked together on Hogwarts grounds, talking and just soaking in each other's presence. Longing filled me, but I pushed against it, not allowing it to consume me.

"You can tell me, Sirius." She said softly. "I can see it's eating at you."

I stopped suddenly and Dani stopped a moment after. I turned to face her, a sigh escaping my lips. I just stared at her a moment, my eyes searching her face. Danielle studied me as well and for a moment my gray eyes met her brown. A fierce urge to hold her consumed me, but I refused to succumb to it. I was stronger than that. I wouldn't do that to her. My entire body ached, knowing that she stood less than a meter in front of me but she would never again be mine. The tiny distance that stood between us felt more like a massive gorge, separating the two of us.

"Tell me," she said again, just as soft. I had a short, tumultuous struggle inside.

"I overheard Stan talking to his mother." I said at last. Danielle frowned. "Several days ago."

"What's that got—?"

I held up my hand to stop her. "Some of the things he said…..Dani, I don't think marrying him is the best option."

A scowl distorted Danielle's features. "No one asked you. And anyways, I'm well aware of your opinion of him."

"This isn't about what I think of him." I said. "This is about you."

"You mean this is about _you_!"

"No," I insisted, praying she'd see my side of things. "Just listen."

Danielle crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows at me.

"I won't deny that he cares about you. But he's only marrying you because of your father's company. Your father and his mother want to merge the companies. Having their children—and the heirs to both companies—marry is the only reason he's marrying you. He isn't in love with you, I heard him say it himself."

"You must've misheard—"

I shook my head. "No, Danielle. I know what I heard."

"You're imagination just got carried away, Sirius."

I let out a frustrated grunt. "Damn it, Danielle. This is exactly why I didn't want to say anything."

"You are _not_ going to blame this on me!" She said indignantly.

"You're the one who insisted on me telling you what was on my mind! Would you rather I lied to you?"

She pursed her lips together and turned her head away from me.

"Why are you so determined to sabotage my wedding?" She asked, looking back at me.

"What?" I demanded. "I'm not trying to sabotage anything. I'm telling you the truth!"

I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw, trying to keep my resolve. My entire body was tensed as I fought my feelings for her. I shouldn't have told her. I should have kept it to myself. Shaking my head, I opened my eyes again. Danielle was still looking at me. She'd dropped her arms, but her posture was still as tense as mine. As we stood there silently a tear escaped and made a trail down her cheek. I sighed and dropped my shoulders.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly. "You're probably right, I didn't hear correctly."

As much as I hated saying that, I knew it was the right thing to do. I'd hurt her, even if it was by simply telling her the truth. I couldn't stand to see her cry.

"Don't cry," I told her, reaching up to wipe away the water with my knuckle. As my hand brushed over her cheek, it was like a magnet pulled me closer to her. My eyes wandered of their own accord to Danielle's full lips. How long had it been since I'd felt those lips with mine?

It all happened in a matter of seconds. My left hand curved along her jaw line, my fingers resting against her ear while my right encircled her waist. I crushed her to my chest and held her there gently. My lips found hers and I was in paradise. Pure and utter ecstasy washed over me. Amazingly, Danielle sighed against my mouth, a hand sliding to my neck and another curling into a fist, clutching the front of my shirt. The world melted away, leaving only me and Danielle. My heart rate increased as the kiss deepened. I moaned and framed Dani's face with both of my hands. Releasing my shirt, she snaked her hand to the side of my face. I'd longed to do this for eight years, to kiss her and prove that there was still something between us. How could she not feel the electricity sparking between us? How could she ignore the undeniable attraction?

I don't know how much time had passed when I heard someone approaching. It sounded like they were running, and though I immediately assumed it was Stan I made to effort to pull away from Danielle. I'd yearned for—prayed for—this moment so long that I honestly didn't care.

"Danielle?" Came Stan's startled inquiry. Dani jerked away and turned. Her face flooded with guilt for a moment before she covered it with anger. She looked at me, her cheeks flushed a dark pink.

"How could you?" She asked. I was positive it couldn't have hurt worse if she'd used the Cruciatus Curse on me. The hurt leaked into my expression before I could stop it. She was going to blame this all on me? As if she hadn't willingly kissed me back, like she hadn't done anything wrong?

"Come on; let's get back to the hotel." Stan said, putting an arm around her and sending me a seething look.

What right did he have to be angry at me? He didn't even love her! I sank to my knees in the grass, feeling as though I'd just been cursed by all of Voldemort's Death Eaters at once. I refused to grant passage to the sobs begging escape in my chest. It was excruciating, knowing I'd just been rejected for the third time in my life by the one girl I'd ever loved. The pain was indescribable.


	14. Closer to the Edge

**Next chapter! =] I don't really like the very end much, but it'll have to do. :/ Please, tell me what you (banana!) think! I love you all!**

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>The next morning, Danielle came into my room to find me packing. I wasn't going to do this. I wouldn't stay here, being treated like a criminal because I'd finally succumbed to my one weakness. When I'd returned to the hotel, everyone had looked at me as if I were a murderer. Danielle had just sat there, her cheek damp with tears, avoiding my gaze. It infuriated me, as well as deepened the abyss in my chest. I felt like she'd literally ripped my heart out. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. I had felt as though I stumbled back to my room in a daze. This morning I'd got up determined, after a sleepless night of debating and arguing with myself. This was the last straw. I refused to subject myself to this torture a moment longer.<p>

"What are you doing?" She asked, startled.

I shoved a shirt into my bag forcefully and turned around to face her.

"Leaving."

"Why? You aren't seriously running away? I thought—"

"No!" I thundered, stalking over to her. "I'm not running away. You're doing enough of that for the both of us."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked with a scowl.

"You know damn well what it means." I said, continuing my packing. I heard Danielle step further into my room. My anger helped me stay strong in my decision to stay away from her. Clearly I wasn't good enough for her. If I was honest with myself I'd never thought I was. If Danielle needed Stan in order to be happy then I wasn't going to stand in her way.

"No, really, I don't."

I faced her again, narrowing my eyes at her. What was she getting at?

"There's no way you didn't feel that, Danielle. You can deny it all you want, but I _know_ you did. You kissed me back. You still love me."

Danielle opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off.

"You're just too damn scared to admit it."

"If you're not running away, then what do you call this?" She asked, sweeping her arm toward my bag and effectively changing the subject. Typical Danielle. I paused and turned, meeting her eyes.

"Self preservation."

"You can't do this, Sirius."

I laughed at her. "Watch me. I'd love to see you try and stop me."

"This isn't funny, Sirius!"

"Oh, isn't it? I imagine you're having a right time, what with the way you're toying with me all around."

"I am not toying with you! Why would you even say that?"

"I don't know, maybe because one minute you're apologizing and the next you're doing exactly what you said you were sorry for. I've had enough."

"But what about Emilia, she's—"

"She can stay. If she wants."

"But, you—wait, she can?"

I gave a curt nod and zipped up my bag. Heaving it off of the bed, I started into the living room section of the hotel suite.

"She'll be fine without me." I admitted grudgingly.

"You're seriously leaving?" She asked, almost sounding sad about it.

"I'm sure as hell not staying, so you can all treat me like shit. I'm not the only one to blame for last night, Danielle." I said.

"Sirius," she started. I dropped my bag and turned to her.

"Don't, Danielle. Don't you get it?"

From her expression, I thought that maybe she might, but she didn't answer.

She just said, "What? That you really are running away, no matter what you tell me?"

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you. You've run away how many times now?"

"What? I've—"

I held up my hand, counting off. "Night before graduation, when you couldn't tell me you were pregnant. The day you showed up at my house, handed me our daughter, and left. How about last night?"

"Last night was—"

"It was what, nothing? Well I'm glad you feel that way." I said sarcastically. "I would have thought by the way you _kissed me back_, that you'd felt something too. But, obviously, I was wrong."

Danielle bit her bottom lip. She glanced nervously at the open inter-connecting door.

"Please, don't do this."

"Do what?" I practically shouted. "I'm not doing a damn thing except being myself, speaking the truth! I have never lied to you, Danielle. Never. I can't honestly say I believe the same about you. I wish I did, really, but I can't.

"Why can't you grow a backbone and stand up to your father? At least he will still love you after you've rejected his values. I may hate the man, but at least I'm not blind. I ran away from home at sixteen to get away from my parents and you can't even tell your _loving_ father that you don't want to marry someone whom you don't truly love. And don't you deny it! We both know it's true." I was in a full rage now, and I wasn't about to be stopped. I was wholly aware that everyone was listening in the other room, but I didn't care. A small, vengeful, part of me _wanted_ them to hear, just because Danielle didn't.

"I was punished on a weekly basis whenever I was home because of the fact I _refused_ to accept my parents' demented and twisted ideals. My own mother used an Unforgivable Curse on me, and I _still_ had the guts to tell them what I thought. I stood up to them, defied them, because I knew it was the right thing. You were a Gryffindor for God's sake, Danielle. Where's your damn courage? You broke up with me on the eve of graduation because you said I was afraid of commitment. But you know what? I think you're the one who was afraid. You are still afraid."

"That's ridiculous, I—"

I stepped closer to her, leaving little space in between us.

"You're afraid of your feelings, Dani. You've been running away from them, from me, for eight years." I said roughly, so low that the others couldn't hear. "Well, I'm making everything a whole lot easier for you. I'm removing myself from the picture, so that, once again, you can fool yourself into thinking you don't really love me."

"Sirius—"

"Don't bother coming to look for me, Danielle." I told her, as much as it killed me to say. "I'll come to pick up Emilia at the end of the tour. Then we'll go on with our lives, and you can get married and live happily ever after."

"Please…."

"Goodbye."

I opened the door of the hotel and stepped out into the hallway, only to nearly collide with Remus.

"Sirius!" He said, looking relieved. "Thank Merlin I found you! I've been searching all of Europe nearly all night."

My confusion momentarily forced from my mind the ache in my chest and the anger burning in my veins. What the hell was going on?

"Er, why don't you come in?" I said, stepping back into my hotel room and holding the door open for Remus. He nodded and hurried passed me.

Danielle looked shocked to see me back again so soon and then frowned when she saw Remus. It was only once I'd sat across from him that I realized his expression was anxious and worried. He looked worse than he had in ages, his face pale, his hair disheveled, and his clothes hanging on him loosely.

"What's happened?" I asked immediately, a horrible feeling of dread suddenly forming in my stomach. Remus sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. When he looked up at me grimly fear gripped my insides. Something had happened. Something horrible.

"It's James." Remus said, and I felt my face drain of its color.

"He's been attacked and is in critical condition in St. Mungo's."

I couldn't respond right away. James? In the hospital? He'd always seemed so untouchable.

"Is….Will he be okay?" I managed to get out, after swallowing hard several times. Remus blew air out of his lips, looking distressed.

"We're not sure yet. The healers say he's not responding well to the potions they're giving him. He's lost quite a lot of blood. Bellatrix seems to have embraced her new position in the Dark Lord's ranks with relish."

"Bellatrix?" I asked in surprise. "She did this?"

Remus nodded. "I believe so."

Anger ignited inside me anew. Danielle stepped closer to me.

"Sirius, I'm so sorry."

She reached out her hand, no doubt to try and comfort me. I shot out of my chair, my hands balled into fists.

"Don't." I snarled fiercely. Dani retracted her hand slowly. Dragging both hands through my hair, I started to pace.

Emilia emerged from the other room, slowly at first but then hurried to my side. I noticed she had something clutched to her chest, and after another moment realized it was my mirror. Emilia placed the mirror on the sofa beside us and put her small hand on my leg. I bent down and let Emmy wrap her arms around me.

"Daddy," she said softly, pulling away to look at me. Her chocolate eyes were wide and worried as they searched my face. "Uncle James will be okay, right?"

I forced a smile and nodded. Reaching over, I tucked her hair behind her ears. "Yes, love, he'll be fine."

Standing up, I turned to Remus. "Are we allowed to see him?"

Remus nodded, and I gave a curt one back in reply. I turned to Danielle, then gestured to Emmy with my hand.

"You'll take care of her?"

Danielle nodded and smiled at Emilia.

"Of course."

"Thank you," I said with a nod. Turning to Remus I said, "Let's go."

Together we Apparated to St. Mungo's, and Remus immediately set off down the hallway. I easily kept up with his long strides, but my heart was racing in my chest. After what seemed like hours of turning down corridors and walking through doors Remus stopped abruptly outside a secluded, private room and knocked quietly. After a few moments it opened to reveal Lily.

"Sirius!" She half said, half sobbed as she threw her arms around me. Lily clutched fists of the back of my shirt as she sobbed into my chest. I hugged her comfortingly and Remus put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it in support. After a moment she let go of me, holding on to Remus instead. I stepped forward, but when I put my hand on the handle I stopped. I looked back at Remus, who gave a reassuring nod. Taking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes and steeled myself against what laid in wait for me behind the door.

I released the air in one quick breath and turned the knob, stepping into the room. James was either sleeping or unconscious—I preferred to think the former—and was propped against several pillows. There wasn't much light in the room, but I could see from the little bit there was that James was in very bad condition. A tightness pulled at my chest, suffocating me. Even through the dimness I could see the sickly pallor of James's skin. The blankets had slipped down to his waist, and I could see that his chest and left shoulder were heavily bandaged. There were several nasty bruises on his face, as well as a few deep-looking gouges. Taking in a shaky breath, I stepped to the edge of the bed. James's chest was rising and falling shallowly, something I didn't take as a good sign.

I sat down in the chair beside the bed with my hands in fists on my knees. I stared at James's limp form, fighting the tears that came to my eyes. I don't know how long I sat there, just staring at James, counting the shallow rise and fall, rise and fall of his chest. Eventually Remus came in the room, followed by Lily. Days passed in a blurry haze. Lily and I alternated sitting vigil by James's bed, with Remus and Peter coming to visit frequently and occasionally taking our place. When Lily was with James, I helped Remus and Tonks with the kids as best I could. A week passed, and then another three days. Though James's body was finally responding to the Healers' potions, he'd yet to be conscious for more than two seconds.

"Lily," I said, shaking her shoulder gently.

Lily jumped awake, sitting upright in the chair.

"What's wrong?" She asked automatically, her face filled with alarm. I put my hands on her shoulders, calming her. I shook my head.

"Nothing, there's no change in anything." I reassured her. "Go home and get some rest."

I grasped her upper arms and pulled her sleep-deprived body out of the chair. Lily looked behind her shoulder at James. I put my arms around her in a hug and after a moment she wrapped her own around me. I could feel them trembling as I squeezed her tight briefly in encouragement. After a moment she released me and I let her go as well. Lily gave me a watery smiled and patted my arm before turning away. Once I heard the soft click of the door closing behind Lily, I sat down heavily in the chair she'd been sitting in moments before.

I released the air in my lungs and it came out in a gush. As I stared at James's pale face and bandaged chest, I felt tears come to my eyes. My chest was tight, as though there was a thick metal band around it, preventing the air from reaching my lungs. My throat felt thick, like some was obstructing my airway. Pulling the chair closer to James, I balled my hands into fits on the bed.

"James." I managed to force out in a strangled whisper.

"You can't leave me, mate." I said, gripping a fistful of James's blanket. "I need you. Lily needs you. We all do. You have to wake up."

"Please," I begged. "Just wake up."

Taking in a deep breath, I leaned in closer.

"You saved me, James. From my parents, from myself. I'll do anything, anything at all, if you'll just come back to us."

I got no response, not even a deep intake of breath or a twitch of his finger. The reality that I'd been fighting for nearly two weeks suddenly crashed into me and the impact left me reeling. James might die. My best friend, one of the only people who stayed my friend despite all my flaws, may never regain consciousness. It was too much. I couldn't hold it in any longer. In a burst I let out the sobs that had been building in my chest at an increasingly painful rate, falling to my knees on the cold floor.

"You can't die, James!" I told him through my sobs. "Please, don't die on me!"

I wished that I could give him my strength, literally give my life-force to him. But I knew that was impossible, and that Lily had already tried. Falling apart would do James no good, and nor would it help Lily. If the situation had been reversed, I knew James would be strong for my wife and children. For him, I had to take care of Lily, Harry, and Elaine until he was back to his old self. Pulling myself together, I pushed myself back up into the chair and dragged both hands down my face. James would get through this. For all of our sakes, I had to believe that.


	15. A Brief Respite

**As promised, the next chapter! =] Love you guys. **

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>Frustration filled me as I dragged a hand through my hair. When was this going to end? My neck was tight with stress and I reached up to knead my muscles. James was still in a coma, after two and a half weeks. I hadn't talked to Danielle or Emilia, and that added to my worry. Was Emmy okay? The rational part of me knew that if something had happened Danielle would have told me. But I was sleep-deprived, stressed-out, and frustrated with James's lack of recovery. Would it kill her to at least send me a letter, letting me know what was going on? Hearing footsteps, I turned to see Remus approaching from the direction of James's room. He stopped beside me, but neither of us spoke. As we stood there, a thought suddenly occurred to me, one that I should've had ages ago.<p>

"How did you find me?" I asked, looking at Remus with a slight frown. Remus looked a bit startled at my abrupt question.

"I've just now realized," I explained. "You never knew we were in Austria, let alone where we were staying."

Remus nodded. "Emilia told me."

"What?"

"I was trying to get you, on the mirror." He said. "But Emilia was the one who picked it up and she told me where you all were."

"Oh," I said, a little surprised. I remembered that Emilia'd had my mirror in her hand that day. I hadn't even fully comprehended that that was what she'd had. I nodded. "That makes sense."

At that moment footsteps started to echo through the corridor again. Both Remus and I turned, only to see Lily rushing toward us. Fear pitted in my stomach at her anxious expression. But as I looked at her, I realized that she also had another expression on her face—relief. Almost in unison Remus and I stepped forward, anticipation heavy in the atmosphere.

"What's—?" I was cut off by Lily, who continued to hurry towards us.

"He's awake!" She announced, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears of joy. "I've just left him with the healer."

Relief filled me. It felt as though a heavy burden had just been lifted. The vice around my chest loosened. Yet at the same time I couldn't believe it until I saw for myself.

"We can see him?"

She nodded eagerly. "The healer's sent me to fetch you. James was asking for you."

The three of us hurried back to the room, my pulse thrumming through my veins. Was it finally over? Was James going to be okay? Was the worse over at last? I felt like I couldn't breathe again, only this time it was from anticipation and not grief. As soon as we reached the room Remus yanked the door open. It was empty, except for James, who was sitting up in his bed. His eyes were open, and a lopsided grin pulled at the side of his mouth.

"James." I said his name in a breath of relief. Lily stayed back as Remus and I rushed to the side of his bed.

"You're awake," Remus said, the relief filling face and tone. "Thank God."

James gave us a weak smile. "'Course I am. You didn't think I'd leave you two to deal with Lils, did you? You'd never be able to handle that ball of fire."

I turned to look at Lily, who had stepped closer. She rolled her water-filled eyes, but there was a smile on her face. I reached out and put an arm around her shoulders, bringing her to the bedside between Remus and me. I laughed, more out of relief than humor.

"I thought I'd lost you, mate." I admitted.

"Sorry Padfoot, but you can't get rid of me that easily." James said with a laugh. I didn't fail to notice the slight wince, and the way his face paled as he lost strength. Remus and Lily must have noticed as well.

"We'll let you get some rest." Remus said softly. Lily and I nodded in agreement. James reached out, and Lily instinctively took his hand in hers.

"Don't leave me," James said, his weakness evident by his quiet words. His gaze turned to her, and stayed there. Lily bit her lip against her tears and nodded, lowering herself into the chair.

"Never." She said, giving him a smile and kissing his forehead lightly. Remus and I turned to give the two of them privacy and left the room. Tonks was at their house taking care of Harry and Elle. I knew I didn't have to worry about them, but I still needed to contact Danielle.

"She's fine." Remus said, looking over at me with a knowing expression. I sighed and nodded.

"I know. But I would feel better if Danielle would just contact me."

Remus nodded and put a hand on my shoulder. Raking a hand through my hair I tried not to think about it. To be honest, I missed my daughter. It was odd to not have her constantly with me, or at least nearby. She went over to a mate's house sometimes and stayed the night, but that was different. I wasn't completely sure how I felt about Emmy being with Danielle alone.

"How are you?" I asked, changing the subject in attempt to get my mind off of Emilia and Dani. Remus sighed, suddenly looking more tired than moments before.

"At the moment I'm alright, but tomorrow it will start getting rough."

"I'd offer to go with you, for old times' sake, but—"

"James needs you more." Remus said with a shake of his head. "I won't be able to help much after tomorrow, which means he and Lily will need you even more."

As he said it Lily stepped out of the room.

"He's asleep," she explained. "I'll go home and take over for Tonks. You'll stay with him, Sirius?"

"As long as you need," I told her with a nod. Remus and Lily continued down the hallway. I turned and went back into James's room. He looked more peaceful now that I knew he was only sleeping. The sleep that had evaded me for almost two days crashed over me. I could barely hold my eyes open as I sat down heavily in the arm chair. Getting as comfortable as possible, which wasn't very, I allowed sleep to consume me.

Three days passed, and James was eventually allowed to leave St. Mungo's. The healers were reluctant to allow it, but he was insistent. I could tell that he was worried about something. As I helped him onto the sofa, my suspicions were confirmed. James gripped my hand, his face still pale and eyes tired.

"Sirius," he said grimly. "It's only a matter of time before they come looking for us. I've spoken with Dumbledore."

I frowned. "You have?"

He gave a weak nod. "He came to see me a day ago, while I was still in St. Mungo's. Lily and I have talked it over, and we've decided it's best that we go into hiding."

"Into hiding?" I asked, incredulous. "Is that truly necessary?"

James nodded grimly. "I won't risk it. I nearly died, Sirius. I won't put Lily and the kids in that kind of danger."

"I understand. What are you going to do, exactly? It's not easy to hide from a man like Voldemort."

"The Fidelius Charm."

I stared at him a moment. I suppose it wasn't really that big of a shock; I knew James's attack had been serious. Nodding solemnly, I sat down beside him.

"Sirius," he said, meeting my eyes. "We want you to be Secret Keeper. Dumbledore offered, but I wanted to ask you. Lily agreed. You're my best mate; I wouldn't trust anyone else with my life and the lives of my family."

I gave him an incredulous look. "_Me_? Wouldn't it be a bit too obvious, James?"

James shook his head. "If the plan works right, they'll think the true Secret Keeper's Dumbledore. _If_ they find out at all."

I let out a breath of air, running a hand through my hair. After a moment of deliberation I nodded.

"I'd be honored to do it."

James smiled. "Thank you, Sirius."

I nodded shortly, meeting his gaze. That night Dumbledore came to perform the charm. James, Lily, and I all gathered in the living room after the kids had been sent to bed. Dumbledore and James were talking pleasantly when me and Lily joined them. Immediately, Dumbledore stood up and Lily sat down beside James, taking his hand in hers.

"What are we waiting for?" I said. "The longer we wait the more danger James and Lily are in."

Nodding in agreement, Dumbledore raised his wand. I didn't feel any different after the charm had been cast. I hadn't been sure what to expect, but I thought it would be more than…..well, nothing. As Dumbledore had to get back to Hogwarts, he didn't linger. James was asleep on the sofa before our old headmaster even Disapperated. Lily crouched next to James's head, stroking his hair gently.

"You should go back, Sirius." She said, looking up at me. "Check on Emilia and let her know we'll all be fine. No one expects you to help much with the Order. Now that the Fidelius Charm is up, we'll be protected."

"Are you sure?"

Lily nodded. "Yes. Take a few days. And tell Emmy happy birthday from all of us."

I smiled, remembering that Emilia would in fact be turning eight tomorrow. I knew it was correct because of the letter Danielle had left tucked in Emmy's bag the day she deserted both of us. Making my way slowly upstairs, I tried to think of where Danielle and her family would be. I drew a blank and decided to try contacting them through the mirrors. Stepping into James and Lily's room, I found his mirror lying face down on his desk. I took it carefully and went to the room I was staying in. I sat heavily on the bed, letting out a sigh, and then flipped the mirror over in my hands. I had to smile at what I saw. Emilia was fast asleep, lying on her stomach with her stuffed dog tucked under one arm. She looked so peaceful. I hated to wake her, but I needed to speak with both her and Danielle.

"Emilia." I said, softly at first but then adding more loudly, "Emmy, wake up."

My daughter stirred, turning onto her side and sighing in her sleep.

"Emmy," I coaxed. She opened her eyes groggily, squinting up at the ceiling.

"Emilia, it's me."

Looking over, she gasped and sat up, excitement filling her face. I smiled.

"Hello, love."

"Daddy!" She squealed. "You've finally looked at the mirror! I kept it for weeks, hoping you'd look, or walk by. All I've seen is wood."

"I'm sorry, Emmy-Bear. I've been busy the past several weeks. Uncle James is going to be fine."

"Good," Emilia said with a smile, stifling a yawn. I smiled.

"How're you?"

"I'm having a good time." She assured me. I just nodded, deciding to not look into that too much.

"I need to speak to your mum."

Nodding, Emilia reached for the mirror and then slid out of bed. Most of what I saw was blackness, but occasionally I'd catch a glimpse of light. I knew Emilia was walking through the hotel suite. After a minute I heard the creak of a door and then Emmy approached the side of a bed. In the dim light, Danielle's form was just visible. My chest ached, knowing that Stan was the one lying beside her. Clenching my jaw, I tried not to let the knowledge get to me. Danielle didn't want anything to do with me apart from seeing our daughter. I was just going to have to accept that and move on. It was the moving on part that was proving difficult. Hell, I hadn't even moved on from eight years ago. Sighing, I directed my attention to the new sleepy face in the mirror. Emilia had succeeded in waking up Danielle.

"Go back to bed, sweetie." I heard Danielle murmur. "I'll tell Daddy goodbye for you, okay?"

Dani walked through the dark hotel suite for a moment. Then it was suddenly flooded with light. She was in the kitchenette from what I could see.

"Hi." She said awkwardly, propping the mirror against something and pulling up a chair. She wrapped her arms around her chest.

"Thanks for letting me know how Emmy was doing." I said, not bothering with cordiality. Dani glanced at something I couldn't see before looking down at her knees. For a moment she looked down at something, avoiding looking in the mirror.

"I didn't want to bother you," she said as she finally looked up.

"That's rubbish." I said angrily. "I've been worried about her. I thought I'd made the right choice in trust you, but maybe I was wrong."

Danielle looked angry. "She's perfectly fine, thank you. You saw her; everything's there, all her limbs intact, no injuries to speak of. What more do you want?"

"How about a bloody note every once in a while?"

"You could have checked in yourself." She said defensively. "If you really wanted to know, why didn't you use this mirror before?"

"I've been at the bloody hospital for two weeks, haven't I? I didn't know where you lot went after I left or else I'd have sent an owl. I thought maybe you'd write…..clearly that didn't happen."

"Why are you talking to me, Sirius? I don't need your antagonism right now. If the only reason you decided to communicate was to be mad at me than I'm going back to bed."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "No. I'm coming back, at least for Emmy's birthday. Where are you?"

"Italy." She said. "Venice."

After giving me a specific address, Danielle said she was tired and was going back to bed. I shook my head and stood up. I took James's mirror back to their room and then grabbed my bag from where it sat on the floor in my room. Throwing the strap of my rucksack over my shoulder I took the stairs two at a time.

"I'm off," I told Lily, who looked up at my approach. She stood and nodded silently. Lily hugged me and then smiled, gripping my shoulders with her hands.

"Thank you, Sirius. For everything."

I smiled and nodded, kissing her cheek. "I'll see you in about three days."

Lily nodded in agreement before going to sit back down in the armchair across from James's place on the sofa. Casting one last look over my shoulder I went out the front door of the Potter's house and stepped onto the front lawn. Closing my eyes, I concentrated hard on Venice, Italy before Apparating with a _pop_.


	16. Back Into the Fray

**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating yesterday. A family member is sick, so I've been worried about them for the past few days, and if I'm being honest I was being really lazy yesterday. But I'm posting it now, so hopefully you'll forgive me. :3 Love you guys! Reviews always make me happy. x] **

**~Ouaysis. **

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><p>"Daddy!" Emilia exclaimed when she saw me in the hotel lobby the next morning. I laughed as she ran toward me and caught her in my arms.<p>

"Happy birthday, love." I said, kissing her forehead. Emmy smiled and wrapped her arms around me tight. I hugged her to my chest for a long moment. Until now it hadn't hit me just how much I had missed my daughter. I'd been too busy worrying about James and stressing over him getting better. Pressing my lips to her forehead one last time, I let her slip to the floor.

"How've you been?" I asked, tousling her hair.

"Daddy," she complained, fixing her curls. "Where's my present?"

"Who said you were getting one?"

Emilia rolled her eyes with a grin on her lips, knowing I was only teasing.

"You never answered me." I pointed out. Despite trying to push it out of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder what had happened in my absence. Some part of me worried that now I had given in and allowed Emilia to stay with her mum without me, she would want to stay with her.

"I'm fine, Dad." She said. "I've had loads of fun. This is way better than Muggle school."

Chuckling, I followed Emmy back to where Danielle and her family waited. I gave a solemn nod to them all.

"How are you, dear?" Sally asked.

"I'm well enough."

"How's James?" Dani wanted to know.

"Doing well," I said. "He's at home now."

"That's good. I so glad he's okay." She smiled. A small pause brought a quite on our group before Dani said, "We were just about to go get some breakfast. Care to join us?"

I nodded. "Er, yeah… I could do that."

I picked up my bag from where I'd dropped it on the ground.

"There somewhere I can put this?"

Danielle nodded. "Yeah, you can leave it upstairs in our suit. I'll show you the way."

I followed her wordlessly, angling myself away from Stan as I past him. Was he glaring at me? Honestly, it's not like I'd ever done anything to him. _You snogged his fiancée_, a voice inside my head whispered. _She kissed me back. _I told it viciously. I tried to shove the guilt away, but it still lingered like a fine mist in my conscience. It was ridiculous. I shouldn't feel guilty for it. He didn't truly love her; why should it matter? Still, I knew that I had been wrong to give in. Even if she had kissed me back.

"Here we are." Danielle stopped and opened the hotel door with her key. She held it open for me. Lifting my bag up, I tossed it inside.

"Is that it?" She asked, looking up at me.

"What do you want me to do, unpack the thing? Let's go, Danielle, your family's waiting."

I turned and intended on walking down the hallway without her but then thought better of it. I'd barely been here five minutes; we didn't need to start fighting again. Danielle closed the door and stepped around me, walking down the hall without a word. I kept pace with her easily. When we reached the end she stopped abruptly, nearly causing a collision. I was about to demand why she stopped when Danielle suddenly turned to face me.

"I want Emilia to be in my wedding." She said, not breaking eye contact. She let out her breath in a rush, as though she'd been holding it in.

"You what?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I want her to be my flower girl. I thought it'd be nice, make her feel more involved."

"You're a complete tosser, aren't you?"

"Sirius, come on, I'm being….." she stopped and sighed. "I'm not joking."

"And neither am I!" I said heatedly. "Do I look like a fool to you? I trust you with her for two weeks and now you're scheming up things?"

"_What?_ No, Sirius, I just—" Danielle grunted in frustration. "Why do you always act like I'm trying to steal her away from you?"

"How do I know you're not? Convenient, isn't it, that you just _happen_ to show up in London, then just _happen_ to tell your whole family about what went on nine years ago. In case you forgot, Danielle, _you_ left us. I apologize if I somehow get suspicious of you now and then, but I think it's quite justified."

She sighed and crossed her arms. "I knew you would react like this. I told him you wouldn't take it well."

"Told who?" I asked with a frown.

"It was Stan's idea, really. I mean, I thought about it….but I didn't want to say anything, because I knew you wouldn't like it. But he thought it would be good to have her, to show her that we truly care about her, that she's part of the family."

"Oh, well if _Stanley_ said it, then it's _must_ happen. Because clearly Stanley's much more qualified than I am!"

"Qualified for what, exactly?"

I glared at her a moment and then strode away. I couldn't stand being there anymore, centimeters away from her and her annoyingly beautiful eyes.

"If you don't want her to then I understand. That's why I wanted to ask you first. It's….I know you don't want—"

"We'll talk about this later," I said, turning and continuing down the hallway. When I got downstairs I put a smile on for Emilia's sake. Danielle emerged from the lift moments later. She too, seemed to have decided pretending the past five minutes hadn't happened was for the best.

"Well, let's get going." She said, going over to Stan and slipping her hand into his.

After breakfast we walked around the city. It was amazing how they used boats instead of cars to get around everywhere. Of course I preferred Appration above any form of Muggle transportation, but boat definitely seemed an interesting option. At noon we picked one of the many restaurants lining the streets and sat down.

"How about a gondola ride after lunch?" Sally said as she sat her menu down on the table. I looked cautiously around the table. Stan was nodding.

"I think that's an excellent idea." He looked at Danielle and smiled. She put on a brave face and nodded in agreement.

I suddenly remembered the first year of Hogwarts, when we were all on our way to the castle in the boats. Danielle, who had been in the boat beside me, James, Remus, and Peter, had been violently sick and vomited over the side about three times. She'd still been a bit green as we walked into the Entrance Hall. Coming back to the present, I glanced over at her. She seemed a little subdued, but I had a feeling it was more to do with our argument. True to their word, once every one was finished with lunch we found the nearest group of gondolas.

"Just tell him you don't want to go." I said in Danielle's ear, causing her to jump. She looked up at me distractedly. I had to admit she was doing a good job hiding her nervousness, but how was I the only one to notice she wasn't herself?

"What? N-no, I'll be fine." Her eyes wandered back to the skinny boat, bobbing up and down in the water.

"What'll happen when you end up spewing sick all over his tailored shoes?"

Dani scowled at me and then stepped away. Shaking my head, I walked over to where Emilia was watching the milling tourists in excitement. Next thing I knew, Sally had paid for three rides. I guess I wasn't sitting this one out. Emmy and I got into a gondola and I had to smile at her eyes, round with wonder and awe. Chuckling, I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to my side.

"Oh," I said, suddenly remembering the topic of Emilia's present. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, handing it to my daughter. She took it with curiosity.

"I apologize for not having it, but I promise once we're home it'll be yours."

With a slight frown Emmy unfolded the paper in her hands. I watched in amusement as her small hands slowly straightened it. Her face lit in happiness and her head snapped up. Squealing, she threw her arms around me. I laughed and held her to my chest a moment. Kissing the top of her head, I released her.

"Thank you!" She said, her brown eyes sparkling. "I can't believe it!"

"You're welcome, love."

Emilia admired the photograph of the newest model of broomstick for a moment. Then she gave me a grin and tucked it into her own trouser pocket. I smiled to myself as I took in the wonders of the city of Venice. An hour later the gondolier pushed the boat back into the dock we'd left from. I stepped off and then helped Emilia. The others weren't back yet and so I decided to take advantage of it.

"Emmy," I said. She looked up at me, a smile of her face still.

"Your mum….earlier she asked me a question."

"What was it? Can I stay with you? I like her, but I've missed you. I love you more, Daddy."

"C'mere," I said, lifting her into my arms. "No, she didn't ask if you could stay with her. Honestly I'm surprised she didn't."

"Would you have said yes?" Emilia suddenly serious expression made me realize that I wasn't the only one who had some doubts about Danielle's stay. I shook my head.

"No, of course not, love. I could never give you away, you know that."

Emilia smiled and nodded. Her expression quickly turned solemn again.

"What—" She paused and glanced down. "What did she ask?"

"Well," I said, looking into her eyes, "your mum and…..and Stan, would like you to be in their…..wedding."

I never thought saying those words would be so painful. My chest suddenly felt tight, my airway constricted. I cleared my throat and met her eyes again.

"Would you want to do that?"

Emmy turned her head toward the water, staring at it. I knew from her expression that she was deep in thought. My stomach constricted as I considered what it would mean if she answered yes. I closed my eyes a moment in order to gather my strength. When I opened them again Emilia was once again looking at me.

"Could I really?"

"If that's what you want to do, then yes. Consider it another birthday present."

A grin slowly spread over her lips.

"Okay," Emmy said. "I think that would be nice."

I forced myself to smile. "Okay."

I placed her back on the ground, just as the other four began to approach. Danielle looked queasy and Stand looked concerned.

"Are you sure you're okay, honey? If you want to go back to the hotel, I can take you."

She shook her head. "I'm fine, Stan."

"You don't look—" He quieted after she sent him a seething look.

"Mum, guess what!" Emilia said. "Daddy said I can be in your wedding!"

Danielle looked up at me in surprise. Shifting her attention to Emilia, she smiled weakly.

"That's great, sweetie. I know you'll love the dress I have in mind."

Emmy smiled and skipped a little ahead of us. I couldn't help but glance at Danielle every few minutes. She still looked a little sickly but she was holding out bravely. I shook my head a little. She was too damn stubborn for her own good. _A lot like you,_ that nagging voice said. We had cake after dinner and everyone wished Emmy a happy birthday. Danielle gave her a necklace and Sally and Bret gave her other small trinkets. A long day of walking around Venice was enough to tire Emilia out. She fell asleep as I carried her piggyback to the hotel. Sally sent Brent to pay for another suit for Emilia and myself. Twenty minutes passed and I had Emmy changed into her pajamas and snug under her covers. I ran a hand over my face and sighed heavily. I was going to have to watch Danielle marry someone else. And not just someone else, but someone I _knew_ didn't love her the way I did. I muffled my scream of frustration and kicked at my rucksack. Seconds later there was a soft knock on my door. I knew it was Danielle, so I stood to open the door.

"Hey," she said softly, looking past me. "Emilia's asleep?"

I nodded and stepped out into the hallway.

"Want to….I don't know, get a drink or something?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Shouldn't you be with Stanley, planning a wedding?"

She shrugged. "It's mostly planned. And he said he was taking a shower and then going to bed. I'm exhausted as well, but I'm still a little jittery from the boat."

I somehow knew I was the only person she would have admitted that to. Probably because I'd witnessed firsthand how well she and choppy boat rides got along.

"How about a walk?" I asked. "It'll sit with your stomach better."

She nodded. "Okay."

I glanced at the door. "I can't leave Emmy by herself."

"Right," Danielle said. "Stay here."

I didn't respond as she walked down the hallway a bit and knocked on a door. Her mother's face appeared in the doorway. Dani and Sally spoke too soft for me to catch their words, but moments later her mother was following her down the hall. Sally smiled at me.

"I'll stay with Emilia. You two go and enjoy yourselves."

Danielle nodded and then led the way to the lift.

"Isn't she worried?"

Danielle frowned. "About what? We're two grown adults going out for a walk."

I didn't mention that the last time I went for a walk and Danielle joined me, it ended with the two of us snogging. If she wanted to act like it never happened then I could accept that. It might feel like my innards were being cut apart from the inside out, but I could accept it. Pushing the bitter thoughts away, I concentrated on not walking to close too Danielle. We eventually stopped by the waterside, a night breeze drifting up from the bay. Danielle wrapped her arms around her chest, pulling her sweater more snuggly to her sides. I glanced over at her as I dug my hands deep into my pockets.

"I…." Stopping, I swallowed back the lump in my throat. Dani looked up at me curiously, question in her eyes. She looked so beautiful standing there. The moonlight glowed on her skin, the breeze tossing her hair about. The pain was so potent I literally took a step back. I felt as though I'd been hit by a curse, square in the chest. I cleared my throat to push some of the emotions away.

"I just wanted to apologize." I said, though the pain increased with every word. Danielle's expression displayed her confusion. "For kissing you."

"Oh," she said softly, looking down. In the pale light of the nearly full moon, I saw the blush on her cheeks.

"It was wrong of me. You're…." I forced myself to say the words. "You're marrying Stan and I should have respected that. Honestly I hadn't meant….it just happened. It shouldn't've, though. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Sirius." She said, her voice still soft. "I….I told Stan that I kissed you back, but he refused to talk about what happened. I'm sorry too, Sirius. I shouldn't have said that, to make it look like you were the only one in the wrong. If anything I'm more at fault; I'm the one getting married."

I stared at her in shock, not having expected her apology. Not knowing what to say, I stayed silent. A few moments passed before she looked up at me again.

"Why did you decide to let Emilia be in the wedding?"

I shrugged, digging my fingernails into my palm so I could concentrate on something other than the bloody, mangled mess of what was left of my heart. She was getting married. Why couldn't I just forget her? Why did she have to haunt me, a constant reminder of what I could have had if I wasn't such a damn fool?

"Sirius?"

I realized I had yet to answer. Looking at her, I sighed. "Same reason I'm back here; same reason I agreed to this whole effing trip."

She raised her eyebrows, as if to say 'and that reason is….?' Did she really not know? Shaking my head, I shifted my weight and looked out at the water to avoid having to see her. It was useless, though; her image burned in my mind, a faint after-image floating in the air before me.

"Emilia." I said at last. "I'd do anything for her. She wants to be in the wedding, and I'm not going to stop her just because I—"

"Because you what?"

"Nothing," I said quietly, glancing at her briefly. I clenched my jaw a moment and sucked in a deep breath of the crisp night air.

"I think I'll be off to bed." I told Danielle without looking at her.

"Is something—?"

"I'm fine." I said before she could finish her question. I forced my eyes up to meet hers. Her face was serious and I could see the genuine concern in her eyes. The ironic thing was, she most likely thought my sudden change in mood had to do with James and not her. Why did she have to be so bloody irresistible? Clenching my jaw and swallowing hard again, I started to turn.

"I'll see you in the morning, Danielle."

I saw her nod from the corner of my eye as I walked away from her. Why couldn't it be that easy to forget how I felt for her? Why couldn't I just walk away? I kicked a piece of stray rubbish in the street. I wanted to…..I don't know. I wanted to kiss her senseless, but almost at the same time I wanted to strangle her. Why couldn't she see it? Why did she refuse to acknowledge that there was still some kind of a spark between us? For the first time in years I wanted to drown out all the pain with several bottles of Firewhiskey. I wanted to escape for a bit, just to empty my mind. But I knew that could never happen. I wasn't the reckless, irresponsible kid I used to be. I was a father. A man whose best friend had been inches from death and I couldn't help him. I felt as though I was suffocating in the darkness, like I had a dagger in my throat. Stumbling forward, I did my best to think of anything—everything—but the pain that was threatening to consume me.


	17. Capture

**New chapter! WOO! haha. Hope you guys like it. Love you all! =]**

**~Ouaysis. **

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><p>I glanced around the hotel suite, assuring that I'd packed everything. Emilia came out of the bathroom sleepily and stifled a yawn. Smiling, I turned to her.<p>

"All right to go?"

She nodded and sat down on the edge of the sofa. Her stuffed dog was tucked under one arm. I picked up the letter Lily had sent me last night and skimmed over it once more. James was doing well in his recovery. It hadn't all been good news, though. The Dark Lord and his followers were aware of Lily and James going into hiding. They knew someone was their Secret Keeper, which may very well end with them guessing who it was. I still felt uneasy about agreeing to be Lily and James's Secret Keeper. It just seemed too easy; they'd have to be complete nutters to not figure it out. And Voldemort was certainly smarter that he sometimes appeared to be. Danielle knocked on the door and Emmy jumped up to open it for her.

Apprehension filled me as I watched my daughter. What if they came after me while we were on our way home? I couldn't put Emilia in that kind of danger. Sighing, I tapped the paper with my wand. It burst into flames and quickly turned to ashes in my hand. I tipped the dust into the wastepaper basket just as Dani walked in, a smile on her face.

"Ready to go?"

Being the self-induced pain lover that I was I'd thickly agreed to let Dani accompany Emilia and I back to London. Now, though, it might actually become an advantage. If something happened to me…..

"Let's go," I said with a curt nod. I picked up my bag and Emilia took hers. With a smile and a nod, Danielle led the way into the hotel hallway. Everyone was waiting with their bags beside them. She said goodbye to her parents and Stan, and then we waited for Emmy to say goodbye.

"Goodbye, dear." Sally said, stepping forward and freezing me in shock when she threw her arms around me. Awkwardly, I hugged her back. When she stepped away again she had a smile on her face. Bret and Stan didn't look quite so happy, but they both gave me a curt nod and a handshake.

Danielle, Emilia, and I saw them off. Once they were gone, having driven away in their rental, Danielle turned to me. Before she could say anything, however, I looked down at Emilia.

"Emmy, love, why don't you stop by the loo before we leave?"

She frowned at me, but nodded. I breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't protest. I suspected she knew I was worried about something, and that was why.

"Er—okay." She said reluctantly, turning back into the hotel.

Once she had gone back inside I turned to Dani.

"I need you to take this." I handed her a folded piece of parchment bearing James' address. "If anything happens on the way, take Emmy to this address in Godric's Hollow. Only look at it if we're in danger. Is that understood?"

Danielle suddenly looked worried. She nodded and took the note. "Why would something happen? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"You've been keeping up on the war?"

"Of course." She gave a nod. "But what does that—?"

"I'm an Auror, Danielle. And I'm in the Order. I have my reasons. Just promise me you'll keep Emilia safe."

Danielle stared at me a moment, worry etched into her features. After a long moment she nodded.

"I promise."

It felt as though a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. A small one, perhaps, but lifted nonetheless. I nodded as well and let out a breath. I met her warm brown eyes.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, reaching out and unexpectedly gripping my hand. It was an innocent gesture, and one intended to show her support, but it made my skin tingle regardless. She cleared her throat and stepped away as Emilia came back. Wordlessly I stooped to pick up mine and Emilia's bag and then walked up the street a bit until we found a deserted passage way. After deciding where exactly we were going, Emilia held tightly to my arm and then Danielle and I Apparated.

Our destination was an alleyway in a different side of Venice. Danielle quickly pulled out her wand and stuck it out in front of her, as though she were hailing a taxi. Within seconds the Knight Bus appeared out of nowhere. I dug out my money while the conductor pulled everyone's bags onto the bus.

"London," I said as I handed him fare for Danielle, Emilia, and myself. He nodded wordlessly as the three of us got onto the Knight Bus. Emilia stifled a large yawn as she sat down beside me, leaning into my arm with her stuffed dog still under her arm. It wasn't long before she was falling asleep in her chair.

Danielle, on my left and closest to the aisle, glanced at our sleeping daughter. An unreadable expression flickered over her features before she looked up at me. Her eyebrow was cocked in a sarcastic sort of way.

"Really, Sirius?" She asked, gesturing to Emmy's dog.

"It wasn't me," I protested. "I take her to a Muggle store and she comes out with a nearly exact stuffed replica of me in Anamagus form. I was a bit freaked-out myself, to be honest. I tried to convince her to get a different one, but she was dead set on it."

"What's her name?"

"_He_ hasn't got one. We just call it Dog."

Danielle chuckled and shook her head. "That's pathetic."

I shrugged. "If you say so."

"Why did you take her to a Muggle store to buy a stuffed toy?"

"Old habits die hard, I suppose. James and I were wandering around London one day and we saw the store. We immediately agreed that we had to bring Harry and Emilia back one day, and so we did."

"You're both ridiculous." She insisted, but there was a smile on her lips.

I didn't answer, instead staring out the window at the scenery speeding by at an alarmingly fast rate. The trip was a relatively silent one, mostly because I was still determined to avoid Danielle unless it was absolutely necessary. She tried to make conversation several times. After she realized I wasn't going to respond with anything more than a noncommittal grunt she gave up and crossed her arms. We were both left to our thoughts, which, if you considered the circumstances, was probably a very dangerous thing. It only took forty-five minutes to reach London, and the conductor was soon shuffling us off, tossing our bags out behind us. Emilia yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Are we home yet?" She asked. Despite my worry that something might still go wrong, I smiled.

"Not quite yet, love, but we'll be there soon."

I offered my hand and she took it with one of her own, wrapping her arm around it. Then I grabbed my bag, Danielle grabbed hers and Emilia's, and we Apparated to my flat. I immediately felt something wasn't right. I held out a hand to Danielle as she made to step forward.

"Be careful," I warned. "I've been gone a long time, which means Death Eaters would have plenty of time to sabotage it."

Danielle nodded, looking uncertain and a little worried. We both took out our wands.

"_Homenum Revelio_," I muttered, pointing my wand into the room. Nothing happened, which was a relief. I glanced at Dani and gave a short nod.

"Just be careful."

Danielle nodded as well. She offered Emilia her hand and gestured toward her room.

"Shall we get you unpacked before I go?"

Emmy nodded, suddenly wide awake. She turned to me, looking into my face eagerly.

"Daddy?" She asked sweetly. "Couldn't Mummy stay a bit longer? At least until after dinner?"

I sighed and glanced around my flat once more. "I'll think about it, love. For now why don't you just get unpacked?"

She nodded resignedly but took her mother's hand and followed Dani to her room, dragging her bag behind her. I let out a breath once they had disappeared behind the corner. I flicked my wand and my bag soared on to the sofa. I was beyond grateful for no longer being around a lot of Muggles. As I stepped forward to start sorting through my things there was a series of small _pop_s from behind me. Spinning around, I found myself face-to-face with five of Voldemort's closest followers. Bellatrix laughed, a maniacal grin on her lips.

"Hello, my dear baby cousin. You've been making trouble again."

"Have I?" I asked, gripping my wand tighter. Five others were pointed directly at me.

"The Dark Lord wishes for us to…._speak_….with you." She continued to say in a slightly crooning voice.

"Well I'm afraid I'm a bit occupied at the moment." I said. "You'll have to come back lat—"

I dived behind the armchair as five curses were simultaneously aimed at me. Footsteps came from the hallway. I turned to see Danielle and Emilia coming to see what was going on. Five wands were suddenly pointed at my daughter and the one woman I'd ever loved.

"No!" I shouted as Danielle pulled Emilia out of the line of fire while curses flew toward them. She peered from behind the doorjamb and aimed a curse at them. It surprisingly hit, but other than irritating the large Death Eater it didn't affect him much.

"Sirius, come on!"

"Leave!"

"No, I won't—"

"Go!" I told Danielle, "go! I'll distract them!"

"_Confringo!"_ I muttered, pointing my wand at the five Death Eaters in my living room. The fire place exploded in a mass of dust and debris. I heard various cries of irritation and anger, and then the faint _pop_ that assured me Danielle and Emilia had safely escaped.

Before I could react I heard five shouts of "_Crucio!_" and one of the curses hit its mark. I sank to my knees as the pain consumed me, like a hundred thousand fiery knives were being driven into my skin. I gritted my teeth and resisted screaming. Bellatrix stepped forward and bent over me, grabbing a fistful of my hair.

"Where'd your pretty little girlfriend go?"

"She's….not…my girlfriend." I gasped through the pain. Yaxley flicked his wand and the pain disappeared. I panted in attempt to catch my breath.

"_Expelliarmus!_" Malfoy said, and my wand shot out of my hand. Yaxley stepped forward and yanked me to my feet, his wand tip to my throat. Wordlessly they all turned on the spot, forcing me with them as they Disapparated.

We landed in a large drawing room with purple walls lined with portraits. Yaxley pushed me forward and I stumbled before straitening up. Bellatrix barked orders to the other Death Eaters in the room and they dispersed, all except for Malfoy, Yaxley, Dolohov, and Rowle. Rowle and Dolohov each took one of my arms and forced me to my knees. Malfoy stepped forward with a sneer on his lips, carrying a small vile of clear potion. Yaxley stepped behind my head, grabbed a fistful of my hair, and yanked my head backwards. I tried to struggle free, but it was no use. Malfoy poured the Veritaserum into my mouth.

"Swallow it!" Bellatrix shrieked, putting her wand under my chin. I had no choice but to do as she demanded. Closing my eyes, I concentrated with all my might to clear my mind, suppressing all thoughts, emotions, and memories of James, Lily and their children. I blocked out everything to do with them, reverting myself mentally to my childhood days. If I concentrated on my mother, on her vileness and the way she'd always treated me like vermin, then it would be easier to forget him and the others.

"Where are the Potters?" Bellatrix demanded, her face screwed up in a scowl.

"The who?" I asked, meeting her chaotic, wild, brown eyes. She sneered at me and slapped me across the face.

"You must be their Secret Keeper." Malfoy said, stepping forward with his wand pointed at me.

"Honestly, I thought you lot would be smarter than that." I said with a shake of my head. "Why would I be thick enough to do something like that?"

Dear cousin Bella flicked her wand and a large gash appeared on my forearm. I gritted my teeth against crying out. I could feel the sticky ooze of blood down my arm. Lucius opened his mouth, but Bellatrix held up a hand.

"He won't speak." She said in disgust, kicking me in the stomach. With a gesture from Bellatrix, Yaxley and Dolohov dropped my arms. I remained kneeling as Bellatrix started to circle around me, looking down with a twisted smile on her lips, her eyes as wild as her black hair.

"We'll have to find…..other means….to get the answers we want. My dear cousin is too good for a potion."

"However…." she stopped and cocked her head, surveying me as though trying to decide what she wanted to do.

"_Crucio!"_

I had been expecting the pain this time, but it didn't make it any less. I crumpled to the ground, trying not to move despite my body's natural urge to writhe in agony. Clenching my hands into fists and arching my back, I embraced the inexplicable pain. If I didn't struggle against it, then there was a slight—though miniscule—decrease in the level of intensity.

"I will find her," Bellatrix whispered in my ear, bending down close to me. "I will _end_ her."

Standing up, Bellatrix resumed her pacing around me. With the flick of her wand the pain disappeared. As I gasped for breathe, Bellatrix lifted me into a sitting position with her wand and met my eye.

"I think it's about time little Emilia meets her dear Auntie Bella, don't you?" She asked in a mock sweet voice that only made her sound more deranged.

Closing my eyes again, I squeezed them tight. Images of my daughter—her laughing brown eyes, so like her mother's, and her charming laughter—forced themselves on my mind. I clenched my jaw as I mentally pushed away anything and everything to do with my daughter. When I opened my eyes they were all looking at me, expectant. I spat on the ground, next to Bellatrix's feet.

"_Crucio!_" She shouted, sounding furious. The pain was more intense than before and it continued to grow as Bella's rage and pleasure at seeing me suffer also increased. I couldn't help from screaming now, but I managed to clench my jaw shut after a brief moment.

"You…..will…..tell me!"

I wanted to beg her to stop. I wanted to tell her what she wanted, as long as she would just stop. But I knew that once I told them what they wanted to know, I would be tortured further, for other possible information. And then, once I was either fresh out of intelligence or I was driven mad from the pain, they would kill me. I'd go mad for my friends, daughter, and Danielle a thousand times before I would spill my secrets.

There was nothing else but pain. Nothing else existed, no one else; only the fiery burn inside of me and out, consuming my body invisibly. This was it. I was going to die on the drawing room floor of a Death Eater's home, being tortured to death by my own cousin. Not much else was decipherable besides the all-consuming pain. I abruptly became aware of shouts, sounding distant and far away. The pain was gone. It was suddenly very loud and I opened my eyes to see the drawing room was a mass of confusion. Spells flew across the room, lighting it up like a Guy Fawkes Night celebration. My muscles felt like lead and I couldn't move them but a little. I felt a hand on my shoulder and was suddenly looking up at the face of Remus. He looked grim but relieved to find me still alive.

As if to prove this he said, "We just can't get rid of you, can we?"

I attempted to grin, though I was afraid it didn't quite turn out that way.

"Thank Merlin you're alive, Sirius." He said solemnly.

"No," I managed to get out hoarsely. "Thank _you_, Remus."

He gave a small nod. "Right. Let's get you to safety. I've got your wand here, by the way, but I think I'll keep it 'til you're feeling better."

And with that he wrapped his arms around my chest and Apparated. My insides still felt like lead, but at the same time, they were starting to feel like jelly as well. We landed (quite harshly, I might add) in the Potters' sitting room. Lily, looking ashen-faced, rushed forward immediately.

"You're alive!"

"Figured that one out yourself?" I asked weakly. Lily rolled her eyes through the tears before hurrying off, probably to call James. Remus lowered me into an armchair lightly before tending to the still-bleeding gash on my arm. My eyelids felt heavy and now that I knew I was safe, that I had successfully guarded the lives of my best friend and his family, I let them drop closed.


	18. Recoveries and Weddings

**Hey guys! So I almost completely forgot to update today. And that's the second time I've forgotten something today that was important... I think oversleeping messed with my brain. o.O Hahah. (Like I need help forgetting things...) Anyway, hope you like it. :) Love you!**

**~Ouaysis. **

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><p>I woke to a roomful of faces staring at me. When I opened my eyes I swear they all let out a collective breath of relief. There were no children in the room, but James, Lily, Danielle, and Remus were dispersed around what I recognized as a guest room on the first floor of the Potters' house.<p>

"How're you feeling?" James asked.

"Like shit," I replied groggily.

Remus and James exchanged looks, grinning down at me. Lily and Danielle glanced at each other as well, but only to both roll their eyes.

"Where's Emilia?" I asked, looking around the room despite knowing she wasn't there.

"Tonks is watching all the kids." Lily explained with a smile.

"Good. How've you lot been?" I pushed myself into a sitting position.

James sighed. He looked much better than he had four days ago. Almost all of his color was back, and he didn't look quite as thin as he had.

"I don't know how much longer of this I can take, honestly." He said. "I hate being cooped in this house."

"It's only been four days," I pointed out.

"Doesn't matter, I'm still going mental."

Lily, smiling and shaking her head, patted James's chest.

"Come on, dear, why don't we give Sirius some time to rest?" She turned to me. "Lunch'll be ready in twenty minutes, if you're up to coming down. If not I can bring you something."

"No, I'll come down." I reassured her with a smile. Remus stood and left as well, leaving only Danielle. She wasn't looking at me. That hurt, for some odd reason. Why wouldn't she look at me?

"Danielle….." I said, my voice soft. She slowly turned her face toward me and I was startled to see tears there in her deep brown eyes. Before I had time to ask why she was crying, a sob burst from her chest.

"Sirius!" She said, leaning forward from the chair she was in. "Oh, Sirius. I thought…."

She fought down another sob and then stood up. For a moment she just stood there, tears falling down her cheeks like tiny diamonds. Then she let out a strangled cry and flung herself abruptly into my arms. Startled, I encircled them around her. I couldn't quite take this in as reality. What had got into her? Throughout or entire trip she'd been nothing if not proper in the way she addressed me. Well, excepting those few times we'd shared a moment and The Unmentionable. As suddenly as she started, Danielle stopped sobbing and pulled away. I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by her slapping me hard across the face. I blinked, staring at her in bewilderment.

"Did you just—?"

"How dare you!" She said, tears still falling from her eyes.

"What? How is this my fault?" I asked in utter confusion.

"How could you do this to our daughter? If you had died!"

"Danielle, love, calm down. I'm fine." I reached up and dared to caress her cheek. I tried to ignore the old ache and longing that sprang up like a well inside me as our skin touched.

"Yes, but, what if you had died? What would have happened to Emilia?"

"I'm not the only one she has. James and Lily would have taken her. _You_ would have taken her."

"Yeah, okay. That's not the point!"

"Then what is?"

"You can't just keep gallivanting around, getting yourself kidnapped by Death Eaters!"

"The last time I checked, going to my own home doesn't qualify as 'gallivanting.' And I'm fighting for a better world for our daughter to live in! She understands that. Emmy knows the risks that I must take sometimes. So why can't you accept that as well?"

"Because," she said softly, wiping away the water trails only have them replaced by fresh ones.

"Because if something happened to you, if you died….I don't know what I'd do." She met my gaze and I saw the worry and fear there.

"What are you saying?" I asked, my heart starting to race. Danielle looked down, at her hand that was centimeters away from my own. She bit her lip, still avoiding my gaze. Her fingertips twitched, but otherwise her hand remained stable.

"What I'm say is that I….I—"

_Say you love me_, I said, searching her face intently. _Admit to me that you're still in love with me. I know that you are, damn it, just say it!_ But she didn't.

"I care about you. You're the father of my child. Of course I don't want you to die."

I closed my eyes a moment and let out a breath. I wouldn't let it hurt me. I wouldn't let the fact that she refused to admit there was still something between us anger me. If that's how she wanted it to be, then that was fine. I sat up straighter, moving my hand away from hers by crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well I'm alive, so you won't have to worry about it, will you? I'm flattered that you don't want me dead, but I need to get up. Would you mind getting off my bed?"

Danielle shook her head and stood up. She looked at me uncertainly for a moment before leaving the room, closing the door softly behind her. I put my head back against the wall a moment before stripping away the covers. My muscles were a little stiff but other than that I felt fine. Deciding to take a shower before heading down, I retrieved a clean pair of clothes and then headed down the hallway.

"Are you alright, Daddy?"

Emilia asked me when I came down the stairs. I smiled and hugged her to me.

"Of course I am, love."

She smiled up at me and then nodded before going back to continue her game of Exploding Snap with Harry.

"Wotcher," Tonks said, approaching me. "You're looking better."

"Am I? That's a good sign, I suppose."

She grinned. "Considering you were right unconscious when I showed up, I'd say so."

I laughed and grinned back. One could never be miserable when Tonks was around. Of all people to be related to, I was glad it was her, even if she was only a second cousin.

"You'll be well enough for the wedding?"

"Of course," I said. "It'll take more than your dear old aunt to do me in."

_You weren't so confident about that yesterday_, that annoying voice in my mind said. I tried not to think about what had happened. Just then Lily appeared from around the corner.

"Lunch is ready. Tonks, will you and Remus be staying?"

Remus appeared at Tonks's side, slipping an arm around her waist.

"I don't think so, not today." He said with a smile. "Thank you for the offer, though."

Lily smiled and nodded. "Anytime. See you at the wedding."

Tonks and Remus exchanged happy looks.

"Thanks, Lily. See ya, Sirius."

I nodded with a smile. I lifted a hand in farewell as Tonks and Remus spun on the spot and Disapparated.

"Get cleaned up for lunch!" Lily said to Harry and Emilia before turning into the kitchen. I followed behind her silently. James was already sitting at their kitchen table. I pulled out a chair and sat down to his left.

"How have you been?"

James stared at the table a moment before meeting my gaze. He sighed before answering.

"I'm alright. Most of my strength is back, so that's a start."

"And he still won't say what he was doing in the Lestrange's vault." Lily said with a shake of her head as she kissed the top of his head affectionately. Harry and Emilia shuffled into the kitchen and sat down. Lily went to retrieve Elle and placed her in her high chair before sitting down herself on the other side of James.

"Uncle Sirius!" Harry said with a mouthful of potatoes.

"Harry, don't talk with your mouth full." Lily scolded lightly, not even looking up from feeding baby Elle. Harry swallowed his food with a great effort and then turned back to me.

"Uncle Sirius!" He repeated. I laughed at my godson's excited expression. "Guess what!"

"What, Harry?" I asked.

"I beat Emmy as Wizard's Chest!"

I laughed, both as Harry's beaming grin and Emilia's sour glare.

"I'm glad. She could use a little humbling now and then."

I let out a deep breath as I gazed at myself in the dusty mirror. I'd magically trimmed my hair for the occasion, and though it was still long by some standards it was much neater then it had been in the past few months. There was a knock on my bedroom door and I turned to see Emilia there.

"You look beautiful, love."

"Thanks, Daddy," she said softly. She entered my room and sat down on the bed with a sigh.

"I don't like it here." She said, speaking of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Turning, I sighed and sat down beside her. I wrapped an arm around my daughter and pulled her to my side.

"I know, kitten, I know. I don't like it here either."

"So why can't we go home? I want to go home."

"It's not safe there anymore."

She looked up at me and I tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

"Remember what I told you about the war, about the Dark Lord?"

Emilia nodded vigorously, her bottom lip between her teeth.

"He found our flat, and if we go back there, his followers will hurt us. So we have to stay here until it's safe again."

Emilia sighed and said, "Oh."

I kissed the top of her head and stood up.

"Let's not think about that now, okay?"

"Okay," Emilia said with a nod.

"Ready for the wedding?"

A smile came to her face as she nodded. We gathered our things and then Apparated to the Tonks' property. There weren't many invited to the wedding. It was better to have a small event because of the circumstances of the war. Those were Remus' words, not mine. I thought it would've been good for a celebration in the midst of all this uncertainty and fear. But both Remus and Tonks had decided that a quiet ceremony with a few close friends would be for the best. Peter and Marie were in the living room, but Lily and James had yet to arrive.

"Where's Remus?"

"Right here."

I turned to grin at him. He smiled back nervously.

"Remus!" I said, walking over to him and embracing him. "Congratulations, mate."

A grin started to spread over his lips despite his obvious nerves.

"Thanks, Sirius."

He looked good. I was happy for him. Tonks had planned the date specifically so that Remus would feel his best physically. It was exactly the middle of the lunar cycle, a time when the effects from the previous month had disappeared and those of the coming full moon had not yet started.

"Tonks upstairs?"

Just then Andromeda entered the room. She was beaming, her light brown eyes shining in happiness. It was hard to imagine that she could be so closely related to the woman who had tortured me only a week previous. I was grateful she didn't look much like Bellatrix, truthfully.

"Yes, she is." Andromeda answered my question. I nodded with a grin before heading up the flight of stairs. I found her in a bedroom I assumed was hers. She wore a simple white gown. Her hair was a normal light brown and without her usual, quite eccentric clothes, she didn't look the same. Nevertheless, she looked beautiful in her dress. I smiled and knocked on the door. Tonks turned, and smiled once she saw me.

"I like the dress," I said with a grin, gesturing to it. Her smile widened.

"Thank you. Mum insisted."

"Excited?"

She dipped her head. "A bit." The grin on her lips belied her casual shrug, however.

"Well, why don't we start the party? James and Lily should be here now."

She nodded, still looking nervous. She took my proffered arm and slipped her own through it. Together we went downstairs where Remus and the others waited. I was right in saying that James and Lily had arrived. They both hurried forward when they spotted Tonks. James grinned as Lily pulled Tonks into a fierce hug. After more rounds of congratulations and hugging, Remus stepped nervously toward Tonks, a small smile on his lips.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you," Tonks said, grinning unabashedly

"You're sure about this?" He asked her quietly as he took her hand in his.

"Remus," Tonks said, shaking her head with a smile. "Oh, Remus. I love you. When are you going to stop hating yourself for something that is beyond your control?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but just then Ted walked in with the ministry wizard who was to officiate. He cleared his throat.

"Shall we get started?"

An hour later, Remus and Tonks were officially married. I couldn't stop smiling for my happiness. I raised my glass of Butterbeer in a toast along with the others. Remus and his wife exchanged glances and I knew that, for once, he wasn't second-guessing his decision. I knew of his hesitance to bring Tonks into his life of lycanthropy, but he seemed to have finally put the doubts out of his mind—if only for a moment. Even I found myself letting my worries and heartaches go amidst the celebration. For an entire half of a day, I didn't have one thought of Danielle. This was a much-needed break, especially in light of having to face her wedding in less than two weeks.


	19. Just a Little Pain

**Hey all! :) Happy Wednesday! Here is the next chapter, and I hope you like it. Love you! **

**~Ouaysis. **

**P.s. if you want to see a picture of how I imagined Dani's dress, I can put a link up on my profile and/or send it to you. Just let me know. :)**

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><p>It seemed that all I was doing recently was going to weddings. Only, I felt completely different about this one. Remus and Tonks—well, they'd been planning their wedding for months. They loved each other, they <em>deserved<em> to get married. Danielle and Stan, on the other hand…. I shook my head, trying to clear it. Emilia was asleep on the seat beside me, but I couldn't even close my eyes. I absolutely hated Muggle travel. But Emmy was having the time of her life, and I couldn't bring myself to complain about this ridiculous airplane ride. If it wasn't for my daughter and the love I had for her, then I wouldn't be sitting here on this seventeen hour flight to Hawaii. Yes, Hawaii. Sighing, I shifted in my seat and tried to sleep. After ten minutes I gave up and pulled out the book in my bag. It was strictly words, and no pictures so as to not disturb the surrounding Muggles.

"Would you care for a drink, sir?"

I looked over at the man wearing the airline uniform. Shaking my head, I went back to my book. Danielle had done this on purpose. She could have convinced her parents and Stan to let us come through Floo powder, but no. Instead she'd talked _me_ into this bloody plane ride across the sea. I sighed and stared at the words, swimming on the page due to my exhausted eyes. Giving up on reading, I tossed the book on top of my bag. Then I sighed once more, crossed my arms over my chest, and closed my eyes.

"How was your flight?" Danielle asked as we stepped off of the plane. Emilia's face lit up as she grinned and launched herself into her mother's arms. Dani smiled as she hugged Emmy tightly to her chest.

"It was brilliant, Mum!" Emilia said as she took Danielle's hand "The people were really nice and gave us food and everything. It took a really long time, though. How come it took so long?"

"Remember what I told you before, love?"

Emmy's eyes went wide and she nodded. Leaning close to Danielle, Emilia whispered, "Muggles are really slow."

"Are we?" Danielle asked, glancing up at me with amusement.

"I said your _transportation_ was slow, not you."

Danielle laughed. "Well I suppose I don't exactly fit into that category anymore, at any rate. I can definitely agree with that. Compared to normal forms of travel, Muggle transportation is a bit lacking in speed. But we have to make-do with what we have. What about you, Sirius? Did you enjoy the flight?"

"Hardly," I said with a scowl. "We could have used the Floo network, and you know it."

Danielle sighed, shaking her head. "We're all staying in a hotel, Sirius. You're willing to risk that just to avoid Muggle transportation?"

"It wouldn't be a risk. You're just being bloody stubborn."

She shot me a look of disapproval, then glanced down at Emilia, who was humming absently. I rolled my eyes.

"She's heard me swear before, Dani. It's not that big of a deal."

She shrugged and took the hand Emmy extended to her. Though I did try to keep it to a minimum when Emilia was in the room, I wasn't overly concerned about it. If she was going to pick up my bad habit of cursing, she'd have done it already.

"Are you ready for tomorrow night, sweetie?" She asked Emilia as we approached he rental car. Emmy grinned and nodded eagerly. Emilia had been talking about this damn wedding for weeks. It wasn't as though I could have forgotten about it. The woman I loved was marrying another man for reasons that had nothing to do with true love. I didn't deny that they loved each other, but it wasn't the right kind of love—not the kind you should marry someone with. Sighing, I tried to avoid thinking about it until absolutely necessary.

"You look beautiful, love." I told Emilia. She turned and I smiled at her. Tentatively, she returned it as she fiddled with her dress. Just then there was a knock on our door. I opened it to see Danielle, in a dress that made my knees weak. _She's marrying someone else_, a voice whispered in my head, warning me. I wasn't going to do anything I would regret, but Dani looked nearly irresistible in her strapless, knee-length red dress.

"Are you two ready?" She asked. I looked back at Emilia and then at her.

With a nod I said, "Yeah."

Danielle returned the nod. "Good."

Reaching up, she straightened my tie and smoothed out a few wrinkles of my button-up shirt. After a moment she seemed to realize what she was doing and retracted her hands.

"Sorry," she muttered through the awkwardness that remained. I grinned at her, amused by her instinctive need to straighten my appearance.

"No problem."

A minute later Emilia and I were stepping out into the hallway with Danielle. As we did, Stan and Sally came out of the room beside us. Sally smiled and gave both Emilia and I a hug. I nodded curtly at Stan when he addressed me by name. Brent stepped out and stopped in his tracks when he saw me.

"Who invited him?" He grunted.

"Dad!" Danielle said, scowling at him.

"What? Hasn't he already caused enough trouble in this family? I don't see why you let him come to the wedding. You _do_ want to get married, don't you?"

For once, Brent's comments didn't dig into my skin and make me furious. My mind was already so filled with running emotions I didn't have time to let him get to me.

"It's fine, Brent." Stan said as he slipped his arm around Dani's bare shoulders with a smile. He glanced at me before focusing on Danielle's father.

"Sirius would never send Emilia so far away without him, nor would we expect him to. He's as welcome as everyone else."

Brent grumbled as we made our way to the hotel room where the reception would be. Why was he suddenly taking my side? _Maybe you're wrong_. There went that annoying voice again. _Maybe he really does love her. Maybe you've got him completely wrong. _Gritting my teeth, I squeezed Emilia's hand as she slipped it into mine. I stayed silent the whole way. Once she warmed up to the others again she was skipping around, talking and helping to set up.

"You're being awfully quiet." Danielle said, stepping to my side and handing me a glass of bubbling alcohol.

"Thanks," I muttered before shrugging. "And I have nothing to say."

Okay, I admit that was a complete and utter lie. So what? She didn't have to know that. My chest constricted with the realization of her being so close and at the same time so far away. Why was I here? Emilia didn't need me in the room. Sure, I wouldn't let her come to Hawaii without my supervision, but why was I standing here, being a git? Why was I putting myself through this when escaping the indescribable pain was as simple as going back up to my room? Danielle sent me an odd look.

"Sirius Black with nothing to say? Be still, my beating heart!"

I scoffed and shook my head. "You don't want to hear what I have to say, Danielle. Just go enjoy your party."

"It's not a party, it's a rehearsal dinner."

I sighed. "Go enjoy your _rehearsal dinner_, then."

"I will, but only if you stop being a loner over here in this corner."

I scowled at her. "I don't even know anyone here."

"That's not true. Remember Josephine from school?"

"Sure."

Danielle rolled her eyes. "She's my best friend and a witch. Go talk to her."

"Why?" I asked, not daring to meet her warm mocha gaze. I heard her sigh and then the click of her heels as she left.

I took a large swallow in attempt to wash away the emotion tangled in my throat, but it stayed lodged there, as tight as ever. For a moment I squeezed my eyes closed. I was doing this for her. If I really loved Danielle, then I had to let her go. I knew in my heart that that was the right thing to do. So why did it have to hurt so much? If Danielle wanted Stanley, if she needed a nice, stable, and easy relationship to be happy then I wasn't going to fight it—no matter how much I wanted to. I wanted to march across the room, sweep her into my arms, and kiss her until she agreed that _I_ was the one she should be marrying—but I wasn't going to.

_Whoa._ I told myself. _Slow it down, Sirius. Where did that come from? Stop being thick, mate, it'll save you a lot of heartache_. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of anything else. I wasn't the kind of guy to dream about proposing and spending forever with a woman. I snorted quietly. Right. That was why I would give almost anything to be the one marrying Danielle in less than twenty-four hours. I couldn't stop my eyes from scanning the crowd and finding Dani, her brown hair in a bun and her mocha-colored eyes shining with happiness. Why couldn't I bring that to her face? Why couldn't my love for her, my fierce, burning love, be enough? I sighed into my glass, still not able to take my eyes away from her mesmerizing form.

The pain increased, rising to an excruciating rate. I took in a shaky breath and forced my eyes to the wood floor. One more day and this would all be over. I wouldn't have to see her again for a long time; I only had to survive the next twenty-four hours. The only problem was, I feared I wouldn't be able to make it that long.

"Life's not fair, is it?" Josephine Richmond had made her way over to me. I glanced at her before returning my eyes to the floor.

"How've you been?" I finally asked, more to be polite than out of curiosity. My brain couldn't process much besides the pain of knowing Danielle was marrying someone who wasn't me in the morning. Jo shrugged.

"From what I've hear, a right bit better than you."

My laugh was devoid of all humor. "I wouldn't doubt it."

"She does love him, you know." She said softly after a moment of silence. I gave brief nod.

"I know."

"Then why are you opposed to this marriage?"

I looked at her, startled. "What? I don't oppose it."

Jo snorted and took a drink out of her own glass. "That's why you're over here by yourself, with fire in your eyes every time Stan gets within a two mile radius of his fiancée."

"I don't trust him."

"You should," she said with a suspicious glint in her eyes.

"I know." I said again. Was that all I could say?

I felt like I was fighting an intense battle inside. I wanted to fight for her; I wanted to convince Danielle—somehow, someway—that _I_ was the one for her. But at the same time, I knew that I had to let her go, so that she would be happy. I had to let her marry Stan; it was selfish to try and push them away from each other. Besides, if he didn't break off the engagement after that obvious bit of cheating in Austria, then nothing was going to make them change their minds. Clearing my throat, I weaved through the crowd until I found Emilia standing with Sally.

"Emmy." I called her name and she looked over at me, a smile on her face and her eyes alight. Immediately she came over to me.

"Are you having a good time?" I asked, and Emmy nodded excitedly. I forced a smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm glad."

A frown darkened Emilia's brow as she studied my face. "Is something wrong, Daddy?"

I smiled again and shook my head. "No, love, everything's fine. I think I'm going to leave, though. Tell your mum I have a headache and I went back up to the room, would you?"

She nodded and smiled. "Okay. Feel better, Dad."

After giving me a fleeting hug, she hurried back to Sally's side. I straightened and started toward the door. When I reached it I turned and took a final look into the room. Danielle's head turned toward mine just as I looked in her direction. Emilia was standing by her side. Her expression was curious as I met her brown eyes with my own gray ones. For a brief moment we were connected; then she turned away, a frown on her brow. Swallowing against the pain, I left the room. Emilia fell asleep on the chair in Sally and Brent's room after the rehearsal dinner/socialization. She looked so peaceful I didn't want to move her, so Sally offered to let her stay. Admittedly I was grateful to have a few minutes to myself. I stepped out into the hall the same time Danielle was going into the room she shared with Jo.

"Sirius," she said in slight surprise. "You left early."

I shrugged and dug my hands into my pockets.

"Night." I said, turning away and walking down the hall. I was halfway to the lift when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Sirius, wait!"

Turning, I frowned at her. Danielle bit her bottom lip she hesitated a moment before looking up at me.

"You going for a walk?"

I nodded curtly.

"Can I join you?"

"Shouldn't you be preparing for your wedding day?"

She shrugged. "What am I going to do? I can spare ten minutes to get some fresh air."

I didn't respond, only stepped into the open lift and waited for her to join me. My hands were fists in my pockets and my jaw was clenched in tension. I wanted to scream, to run as far away from her as possible. But at the same time, I took in her nearness, knowing that after this I would only be seeing her when Emmy went to visit. The fresh air felt good on my face as I headed to the beach six meters away from the hotel.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Danielle asked, elongating her strides to catch up to me. I spun around and stopped.

"Why are you here?"

She froze in her tracks and stared at me in shock.

"What?"

"Why are you out here, with me? You should be upstairs, talking to Jo about how you can't wait to spend the rest of your effing life with _Stanley_!"

Dani looked taken aback, staring at me in surprise. In the soft moonlight and still wearing that damn dress, my heart cried out for me to pull her into my arms. Holding strong, I kept my hands safely in my pockets.

"I don't get it." She said quietly, looking down at her feet.

"Don't get what?"

Danielle looked up and I was startled to find tears brimming in her eyes. She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as a light breeze picked up.

"If you love me, then why aren't you trying to do everything you possibly can to stop this wedding?"

I laughed humorlessly. "What? Are you having cold feet? After that near disaster of a road trip, you're having doubts _now_?"

Danielle smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "That's normal, isn't it? And stop avoiding the question."

Sighing, I squeezed my eyes closed a moment. Then I stared out at the sea, watching the waves lap against the sand in the light of the almost-full moon. Danielle stepped closer. She put a hand gently on my shoulder.

"Sirius?"

I reached up and put my hand on top of hers. A sigh escaped as I turned to her. Her mocha eyes were filled with confusion, curiosity, and pain.

"Danielle, I….." I paused and cleared my throat. "Look, it's just easier this way. Why does it matter my reasons?"

She slid her hand from mine slowly as she shook her head.

"It matters to me," she said softly, looking out at the waves.

Was she really going to make me say it? I sighed again. Of course she was; this was Danielle Wilson. She didn't know how to not complicate things. I'd been able to rationalize my decision until this moment. But now I was doubting myself, wondering if I was just being a coward again. Was I running away, or was I being the better man by letting her go? No. I couldn't think like that. Danielle was obviously better without me, so who was I to fight for her? I didn't deserve her; the evidence was plain and simple: she would be marrying Stan in less than twelve hours. If I deserved her, then I wouldn't have let her go in the first place. I should have fought for her that night, so many years ago. I should have told her I loved her, that I could never love anyone but her.

"Please, Sirius…..I need to know what's going through your head."

"I love you, Danielle." I whispered, staring into her eyes. Damn, what I'd give to look into those eyes forever.

"Prove it."

"How have I not?" I demanded. I'd spent an entire month with her family for the sake of letting Emilia be with her. I may have told her it was only for Emilia, but I'd done it for Dani, too.

"Why aren't you fighting for me?" Those accursed tears were there again, on the brink of spilling over.

"Because," I said slowly. "I love you."

She scowled. "I don't get it."

I just stared at her a moment, taking in her presence.

"Dani," I shook my head and laughed. "Oh, my beautiful Danielle…."

I stroked her cheek softly before dropping my hand to its proper place at my side. Shaking my head again, I looked up at her.

"I know you, Danielle. If I fought this, if I did everything in my power to stop you marrying Stan, then you'd only fight harder against me. You'd want to marry him even more, just to spite me. You don't want to admit how you truly feel in the first place; trying to make you admit it publicly, with everyone around, is never going to happen. Your father would only hate me more, making everyone's life miserable with his irritable, sarcastic comments about how useless I am. Emmy would be stuck in the middle of all of it, confused as to why everyone hates each other when she loves us all the same.

"I won't lie to you, Danielle—I _want_ to fight for you, more than anything I've ever wanted before. But I won't. I had my chance and it's passed. Stan loves you. You'll have a happy marriage, a nice, pleasant life—no fighting, no angry father. Your mum will be overjoyed that her little girl married such a wonderful man, and your father will be pleased that you married Stan instead of me. Emilia will get to visit you and her step-father every summer, and go on adventures and do things her father would never approve of. I don't deserve you. As I said, I've had my chance, but I was too much of a coward, too much of a fool, to realize that you have to work for the things that are best in life. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to tell you I loved you then, Dani, I truly am."

I stopped and took in a deep breath, closing my eyes and trying to clear the knot out of my throat.

"You see," I said quietly. "Everyone wins this way."

"Everyone but you, Sirius."

"Danielle, I've always known I could never have a happy ending. My life has always been hard, so why should this be any different? No, you need to marry Stan and be happy. I'd do anything for you to be happy, Danielle. That's all I want." I finished in a whisper. The tears were falling now, and I wanted to wipe them away. I forced my arms to stay where they were and not move. Stepping closer, I framed Danielle's face gently with my hands and pressed my lips to her forehead.

I lingered there for a long moment, breathing in the familiar sent. Then I rested my forehead on the top of her head a moment and whispered, "Be happy, my love."

Before I could change my mind and drop to my knees, begging her to forgive me for never telling her I loved her that day—to beg her to love me back. I clenched my jaw and blinked furiously against the tears. I stumbled a bit when I reached the hotel. My world was spinning out of control, the pain all-consuming. I gasped for air, but my lungs couldn't be relieved. The metal vise around my chest tightened a notch, cutting off my oxygen supply. I managed to get into my hotel room and closed the door before falling against it and sliding to the floor.

It was the worst kind of pain imaginable, nearly worse than the Crusiatus Curse. I felt numb; yet at the same time it was as though every particle of my body was being set ablaze after having petrol dumped on me. Every fiber of my body ached, down to my very core. Forcing myself to my feet, I stumbled to the loo. I filled my mind with an image of my daughter—I had to focus on Emilia. But no matter how hard I willed myself to think about Emmy and not her mum, all I could do was realize how much they looked alike. Letting out a cry of anguish, I slid to the floor. The only thing I could do now was allow the pain to consume me.


	20. Runaway

**Hey everyone! Happy Wednesday! :) Hope you like it and I love you all! x]**

**~Ouaysis.**

* * *

><p>I took in a deep breath, trying to avoid thinking about what was happening around me. I wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and never come out. Or curl into a ball and die. Anything would be better than this torture. I plastered a smile on my face, despite the desire to runaway. I wished I could transform where I stood and stop feeling this pain. I'd realized last night that being a dog was far easier than being a human. After my talk with Danielle, I'd needed a way to escape. As I couldn't exactly get drunk out of my mind with Emilia to look after—and a wedding the next day—I'd resolved the issue by transforming to a dog and curling up on the hotel bed.<p>

"Sirius."

I turned to see Danielle, her head poking out of a crack in the door. I frowned, my heart kicking into overdrive and blood rushing through my veins. She beckoned to me and I reluctantly stepped toward her. The woman was like a magnet—I couldn't resist being near her even if I tried.

"What is it?" I asked, stepping into the room. I just about froze to the floor when I captured her full look. My chest ached with her overwhelming beauty. "You look….."

What could I say? There were no words that would do her justice. Swallowing hard, I just started at her. Dani looked down nervously, smoothing her gown with her gloved hands.

"Do you like it? I wasn't sure if I should leave my hair down, but Jo insisted, and—"

I couldn't stop myself. I stepped forward and caressed the side of her face, sweeping a few loose strands behind her ear.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "You look amazing, Danielle. You're perfect."

Avoiding her eyes, I dropped my hand.

"Did you need something?" I needed to get out of this room, before the walls started to move in and suffocate me. She looked at me cautiously, a light smile forming on her luscious, red lips. I forced my eyes to focus on the wall behind her.

"I just…..I wanted to thank you." She said it so softly, I almost missed it. We found each other's eyes and I had to swallow against the rush of attraction.

"For what?" I was utterly confused. Why in the name of Merlin would she be thanking me? She shrugged, lifting her hand gently to my cheek. I closed my eyes and savored the feel of her touch, even if there was a piece of material between her skin and mine.

"For understanding, for not…..interfering. You've respected my decision even though it's hard for you to accept."

I opened my eyes again and searched her face. She was trying and failing to conceal uncertainty. _You're having trouble accepting it too_, I wanted to say. But I held my tongue. I wanted a lot of things, but that didn't mean I was going to get them. I stood there a moment, looking at her. Her ivory colored gown had thin straps on her upper arms, making a nearly straight line with the neckline. Her shoulders were bare, begging for me to run my fingers across her satiny-smooth skin. A tumble of curls fell like a waterfall down her back, a charming band of small, white flowers sitting like a tiara on her head. That was it. I couldn't be here a second longer or I was really going to lose my resolve.

"Congratulations, Danielle." I blurted before hurrying out of the room. Josephine gave me an odd look when she noticed my exit, but I ignored it as I retreated outside. I took in a deep, steadying breath of fresh air. There were rows and rows of chairs set up on the beach, an intricately wrought wicker arch on a small platform at the front. The arch was adorned with flowers and bits of color. Everything made me sick to my stomach. The flowers, the white chairs with their damn blue-colored accents; the paper lain out on the ground to mimic an aisle—all of it.

"Daddy?"

I turned to see Emmy in her beautiful flower girl dress. She smiled but I couldn't manage to return it.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "Nothing's wrong, love. How's my beautiful girl?"

"I'm fine, Dad. You're not, though. You always say you are, but you've been so sad recently. How can I make you happy again, Daddy?"

I gave her a weak smile and pulled my daughter into my arms. After a long moment I held her at arm's length.

"Emmy," I said softly. "I want you to know that none of this is your fault. I just have some things going on right now. Soon everything will be okay again, I promise."

"It has to do with Mum, doesn't it?" She asked, her brown eyes going wide. "You don't want her to marry Stan, because you still love her."

I sighed, at the moment irritated by Emilia's ability to comprehend things an eight-year-old shouldn't. She didn't understand all the details, every little thing that makes this all so much more complicated. She couldn't, because she didn't even _know_ about them. I just wanted to get this day over with so that I could go back to England and my old life. Even as I thought it I knew I could never go back to my old life. Knowing the woman you love is married to someone else is bad enough. But having to watch it? That was a whole other brand of mental.

"I want your mum to be happy, love. The same as I want you to be happy."

"But that doesn't make you happy, Daddy." Emilia said sadly. That was almost exactly what her mother had said the night before. I smiled and framed Emmy's face gently.

"You don't worry about me, okay? You focus on what you need to do to make Mummy's day special."

Emilia smiled. "Okay, Daddy."

I sent her off before straightening up and dragging both hands down my face. Shaking my head, I went to go offer my help to finish setting up.

* * *

><p>Nothing could have made the moment more final then the arrival of all the guests and the minister. I gulped in a breath from where I sat in the last row. Stanley was standing at the front, on the platform. His back was to the crowd, to avoid seeing Danielle until the right moment. <em>I can do this,<em> I told myself calmly. _I need to do this, to show my support, to prove that I'm okay with this. I have to be here for Emmy; she'd be disappointed that I didn't see her_. I took in another deep breath just as the music changed and grew louder, the live orchestra starting some classical Muggle song. My heart drummed against my ribs; I forced myself to take even, calm breaths. The bridesmaids and groomsmen started down the aisle. I managed to get a smile on my face before Emmy sneaked a glance at me. I nodded encouragement as she beamed back, slowly descending the aisle alongside Stanley's young cousin who was the ring bearer. And then the music changed again. Everyone stood and turned to look back at Danielle.

My breath caught. I couldn't breathe any longer; it felt like I'd just been abruptly struck by the Crusiatus Curse. My muscles all tensed up, my hands gripping the back of the chair in front of me so hard my knuckles were turning white and I couldn't feel my fingers. Danielle and her father were halfway to the platform alter. When did that happen? She exchanged looks with Brent, looking excited and….happy. That's what I wanted—for her to be happy. So then why did I feel like marching down that paper aisle and punching Stan in the face? I suddenly realized that I couldn't do this. I _couldn't_ stand in the crowd, acting like every other happy member in the congregation. Not when I could no longer stand from the complete and utter loss that was starting to consume me. Danielle was marrying Stanley. She was _marrying_ him.

_So do something about it, you prat!_ My brain shouted at me. _Don't just let her get away with it. Go up there. Wait until the right moment and object. Do _something_!_

No. No, I wouldn't do that. It had to be Danielle's decision. I wouldn't force her to say she loved me, even if I knew she did. She had to want to say it, otherwise they would just be empty words. And besides, she looked so…..joyful, peaceful. I couldn't bring myself to end that for her, just because I couldn't face rejection. It wasn't as though I hadn't been told I wasn't good enough to my face before. I wasn't going to make a big deal about this. Instead, I waited until Brent had given Danielle's hand to Stanley and they were gazing into each other's eyes with their fake, companionable love before I stood and slipped away from the ceremony.

When I reached the hotel lobby I felt like I was going to vomit. Stumbling toward the bathroom, I gagged several times, gulping for breath simultaneously. After a moment catching my breath I hurried toward my hotel room. I couldn't be here. I couldn't stay here, with the temptation to ruin Danielle's new, happy life with Stanley. I had to leave before I did something unforgivable. I wouldn't do that to her. I was blindly throwing things into my bag, struggling to see through the tears blurring my eyes and the lack of oxygen to my brain. A sudden knock caused me to jump and spin around. Assuming it was housekeeping, I ignored it and went back to packing. A second, more urgent, knock sliced through the silence of my room.

"Sirius? Sirius open the door!" I stood frozen in shock as Danielle's voice said from the other side. Anger sparked through my veins. How dare she! After all that I'd done for her, all the things I'd stopped myself from doing for her sake, she was going demand I be present at her wedding? The one where she married some other man?

"Sirius, please. Let me in!"

Clenching my jaw, I slowly stepped forward. Another moment of hesitation passed before I crossed the room and swung my door open.

"What?" I asked icily. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to forgive my weakness. I may able to let you marry him, but I'm not about to sit around and watch it."

"Sirius—"

"No! I will not go back down there. I'm doing this for you, so you're new _husband_ won't have to press charges within the first ten minutes of your marriage."

"Sirius, just listen to me!" She said, tears coming to her eyes. "I'm not here because I want you to be at my wedding."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because there is no wedding." Danielle said quietly. "Not anymore."

I opened my mouth but couldn't think of a thing to say. What? There was no wedding? That was rubbish! I'd just been at the wedding ten minutes ago.

"You're joking."

She shook her head. "No. I'm….."

A smile cracked at her lips. "I'm serious."

"Why?" Was all I could manage to say. This wasn't happening. It was all a dream, a grotesque fantasy—I'd finally been driven completely mad.

"Can I come in?" She asked. After a moment I nodded and stepped back. Dani lifted her dress delicately and walked to the bed, sitting down on its edge. Closing the door, I followed her. I leaned against the chest of drawers across from the bed. She traced an embroidered design in her dress's skirt a moment with her gloved hand. Then she looked up and met my eyes.

"I realized something while I was listening to the minister. He said when you love someone that you'll do anything for that person. You'll put aside your own feelings when you know that the other person needs something. But…..it's never been that way with Stan. We had so many things in common, we had fun together—I was content. But just now, when I was thinking about our relationship, I realized something else. We know each other's habits, each other's likes and dislikes, but we don't _fit_, you know?

"I couldn't help but compare him to you. Sometimes you just make me so _angry_—but at the same time, I'm never happier than when I'm with you. Sirius, you know what I'm thinking without me having to tell you and while that's true to some extent with Stan, it's not….It's just not the same."

I swallowed hard, not believing my ears. This isn't what I thought. I was misunderstanding her reason for being here. That had to be it, didn't it? Danielle took in a deep breath and continued.

"We worked together so well I didn't question it. At least, not until we ran into you and Emilia this summer. I'd always thought that when people had things in common they had better chances at a happy relationship, but now I've realized that doesn't apply to everyone. I have never once had a fight with Stan. It's not like it was before…..with you."

"What're you saying?" I asked, not daring to hope.

"What I'm saying is that I've been an idiot all summer. I've been running away, like you said. I was scared to admitting the way I feel, because I know that it's going to change things."

"Change can be a good thing," I said gently.

"I know." Danielle swallowed. I was amazed she'd been able to hold back the tears this long. "I know, Sirius. But my life was comfortable—I liked where I was. Until we ran into you this summer. You made me remember how it was, made me think how it could be if—if I just let go of the way things are and accept the changes. For better or for worse." She stood up, biting her bottom lip. "I don't know if you can ever forgive me for taking this long, but I'm sorry, Sirius. I—"

I launched myself from the dresser and pressed her close to me. In less than a second my hands were framing her face, my lips on hers. I gasped for air but didn't dare let her go, in case the dream ended and I woke up. I didn't remember falling asleep, but that was the only explanation. Danielle clutched one of my lapels with one hand, digging her fingers into my hair with the other. Her hair felt like silk against my hands. I deepened the kiss and slid my hand down her back, pressing her body against mine. Danielle pulled away for breath but I didn't want the kiss to end, I didn't want to wake up and face reality once again. Yet, how could this be a dream? I felt so strongly the electricity, the emotions, so real they filled the air around us.

"Sirius," she said breathlessly as I trailed kisses from her ear to the base of her jaw, going down her neck.

"Sirius, I—"

"Shhh," I silenced her by pressing my lips to hers once more. She kissed me back in compliance and moaned, grabbing my tie with her hand and pulling me closer. I remembered the last time we'd been like this. It'd been nine years ago, and the end result had been Emilia. Reluctantly I pulled away, knowing that I had to stop before things got out of hand. Danielle's thoughts seemed to be on a similar track, because she toned it down, sighing lightly as she kissed me hesitantly several times before pulling away completely.

We'd both put a damper on our attraction and for a moment I just held her in my arms with her cheek against my chest. Closing my eyes, I sighed as complete and utter ecstasy filled me.

"This isn't real." I told her, looking down. I still was unable to wrap my head around this. Danielle looked up at me and smiled.

"Sirius," Danielle whispered, stroking her thumb up and down lightly against my neck. I questioned her with my eyes, not sure what to ask.

"I love you." She said, a smile blossoming on her face. I grinned and curved an arm around her waist, slipping my left hand in her mass of curls.

"I know," I said, leaning down and pressing my lips to hers for a long moment.

Moving my mouth to her ear, I whispered, "Want to know a secret?"

Danielle met my eyes, her mocha ones dancing. She nodded.

"I love you more."

I was going to kiss her again when there was a short rap on the door.

"Danielle? Are you in there?" My heart started to race again when I heard Sally's voice. Danielle swore under her breath and I stared at her in shock.

"Well? Don't just stand there, answer the door!" She hissed, though I could see amusement mixed in with the slight panic in her expression. I stopped at the mirror and straightened my tie, tightening it and combing down my hair with my fingers. Danielle readjusted her dress and pulled one of her straps up, trying to fix her hair.

I squared my shoulders and swung the door open.

"Er—Sally." I said.

"Is my daughter in here?"

I nodded and stepped aside as Sally barreled into the room.

"What has gotten into you?" She demanded of Danielle, who was looking down at the floor. "You said you needed five minutes to think about things, and I find you up here with Sirius ten minutes later! Everyone's worried about you. What the hell have you been doing?"

"Uh…." Danielle glanced at me and her cheeks burned red. She was undoubtedly thinking about our—er—rather passionate moment minutes earlier.

"Talking," I said for her. "Danielle needed to talk to me."

"About?"

Just then another knock was heard on the open door. Stan was in the doorway, looking uncertainly at Danielle.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, looking from her to me to Sally and then back. Danielle looked a little nervous, but she kept her head high.

"Um, actually, could we talk?"

Stan frowned but nodded. "Yeah….but what's going on? It's okay if you're nervous."

Danielle looked over at her mother. "Mom? Could you give us a moment, please? Go find Daddy and tell him things are going to be fine."

Sally looked at her daughter suspiciously a moment before nodding.

"Of course," she said and then left. I turned to leave as well, but Danielle stopped me.

"Wait."

"Don't you want to speak to him alone?"

She shared a look with Stan, who nodded. "No, you should stay."

"Er….okay." I said awkwardly.

"What would you do if I was going to marry someone else?" Danielle asked Stanley.

"I'd let you marry him."

"Why?"

Stan suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I don't know, because I love you, and I'd want what's best for you?"

"What if _you're_ what's best for me?"

"Well obviously I'm not if you're marrying someone else." He said, annoyed. "What is this about, Danielle? The guests are getting anxious, and as for that, so am I."

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry. But just one more thing."

Stan raised his eyebrows in question. I felt like doing the same but resisted. What was she getting at?

"If you thought that you were the best for me, despite everything, would you fight for me? Would you risk making me unhappy just to prove that you're better for me than the other guy?"

"I guess so….yes. What is going on?"

Danielle looked thoughtful. "Do you love me?"

"What? Of course I do."

"Okay, but are you _in_ love with me?"

"What's with the round of twenty-one questions all of a sudden? Come on, we need to get back down there."

"No."

Stan started at her a moment in shock. "What?"

"Given a choice between me and your parents' company, which would you choose?"

When he didn't answer immediately, Danielle seemed to make up her mind.

"I can't marry you." She said. For a moment I thought Stanley was going to be angry. But then he let out a breath of air and looked relieved.

"Oh, thank God."

"You're not angry?" Danielle seemed just as surprised as I was.

Stan laughed. "No! Of course not. I've been trying to find a way to break this off for months, but I couldn't disappoint my mother like that. I'm sorry, I know it was cowardly, but I just…" He paused and shook his head. "Now I don't feel so guilty about not wanting to go through with this. Don't get me wrong, Danielle, I love you—but more like a sister, or a really close friend."

I let out a breath I hadn't been aware I was holding. This couldn't be real. This was all a crazy dream and I was going to wake up any second. Only, this _was_ real, and I didn't wake up from a dream. Instead, I took Danielle's hand.

"We'd better go tell everyone the news."

"And our parents."

We all exchanged looks and Danielle laughed. "Unfortunately we have to tell them first."


	21. Family is Forever

**Hey guys! :) There's going to be about four chapters after this one. 23 is only half written, so I'll do my best to get it finished before two weeks. Love you all! You're the best. :) Hope you like it.**

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>"You're <em>what<em>?" Brent exploded. There was a vein twitching near his temple.

"We're not getting married," Danielle repeated calmly. She gripped my hand harder, proof of how hard this truly was for her. Sally had yet to say anything, but Stan's mother was taking it about as easy as Brent.

"Stanley Michael Brookes!" She screeched. "I did not fly all the way down here, just to have you bail out at the last minute!"

The man who I assumed was Stan's father, who'd been off to the side until now, stepped forward. "Now Tess, if the boy doesn't want to get married he doesn't have to."

"Oh, shut up, Michael!" She spat at the man viciously.

"I think everyone needs to take in a deep breath and calm down." Sally said finally. Her voice was low, but everyone heard perfectly clear. "This doesn't have to be for nothing. What you both want is a business deal."

She shot her husband and Tess an acid-filled look. "So why don't we make it a business deal. Then you'll both get what you wanted in the first place and everyone will be happy!"

There was a moment of silence in which Tess and Brent exchanged glances.

"What about the guests?" Michael asked. His ex-wife rolled her eyes but he ignored her.

"I don't know yet….." Sally said, lost in thought.

An idea hit me like a ton of bludgers to the face. I nudged Danielle's arm with my own. She looked up at me curiously and I gestured with my hand to a spot away from the group. With her hand still in mine, I walked several meters away, enough that we couldn't be overheard.

"Sirius, what—?"

"Sorry," I cut her off. "Hold on."

Bending down, I feigned retying my shoe a moment. Then I reached up and took both of Danielle's hands in mine.

"Danielle Rosalind Wilson," I said slowly and quietly. "I've been a complete idiot, letting you slip away how I did. I'm sorry it's taken me so long, but—would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"

A smile spread over her face and a tear leaked from her eye as she nodded. Standing, I smiled and wiped it away before wrapping her in my arms.

"Yes," she breathed. "Yes, of course. I'm sorry, Sirius, for being so stupid, and for not—"

I put a finger to her lips. "Shhh."

"It's okay," I said gently, kissing her forehead.

"What are you two up to over there?" Sally's suspicious voice broke through our moment. Dani and I shared a private smile before we joined the others once more.

For the first time they all seemed to become aware of mine and Danielle's joined hands. A smile started to form on Sally's lips. Brent narrowed his eyes at us.

"We may have found a solution to the guest predicament." Danielle said, grinning. Brent's face turned red as a beet.

"No." He said angrily. "Absolutely not. I will not have this hooligan as—"

"With all due respect, sir." Stan said, stepping forward. "Sirius loves you daughter in a way I would never be able to. And, quite frankly, you should be happy that she has someone willing to put up with you for her sake."

Brent looked stunned. So was I, for that matter. Sally practically beamed at us, clapping her hands together.

"This is wonderful!"

"No, it's not!" Brent said vehemently.

"Dad, I'm an adult. You can't stop me from doing this." Danielle said, looking up at me.

"I—"

"Just give it a rest, would you?" Sally asked exasperatedly. "If you don't approve, then leave. As for the rest of us, we have a wedding to attend."

Sally took hold of Danielle's hand and led her to the door. I followed behind them, unable to describe how I felt. This insane turn of event was so unexpected my brain had yet to process it all. I couldn't stop smiling, not that I wanted to. Nothing could ever go wrong again. As long as I had Danielle at my side, I could conquer anything. Jo advanced toward us.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" She hissed at Danielle.

"She's marrying Sirius!" Sally said cheerfully. "I'll go tell the minister."

"She's serious?" Jo asked, bewildered. Danielle nodded and took her bouquet from Josephine.

"Do you think it's bad luck for you to see me?" Danielle asked, biting her bottom lip.

"If what happened upstairs is any indication, I'd say we'll be fine." I said with a grin and a wink. Jo looked from Dani to me, then rolled her eyes.

"I won't ask. C'mon, Dani, everyone's getting restless."

Danielle gasped suddenly and stopped. "The ring!"

"What about it?"

"It's Stan's! I can't take his ring and marry you!" Her voice was frantic, and I realized that she was right. Stanley approached us calmly.

"Don't worry about it, Danielle. Tell you what; you can keep the wedding bands as your gift. You can give me the engagement ring back after the ceremony."

Dani breathed a sigh of relief and hugged Stan for a brief moment.

"Thank you," she said, meeting his eyes. He nodded with a smile.

"My pleasure," he said. Jo started to drag Danielle away and I smiled at her before going down the aisle, standing faithfully at the minister's side. He sighed but otherwise remained noncommittal. Sally stood at the center of the platform and cleared her throat.

"Ladies and gentlemen," she caught their attention. "I apologize deeply for the delay. However, there has been a change of plans."

A murmur started through the crowd.

"There will still be a wedding, but….well, things are hard to explain. Danielle will be getting married; on the other hand, Stanley will not. If anyone from the former groom's side would like to leave, please feel free to do so." Sally paused for several moments. No one stood. "Okay then, let the ceremony resume."

I could imagine James shouting "Finally!" from the crowd. With a pang I realized James and the others would want to be here. Things had happened so fast I hadn't even had time to tell them. And I wasn't leaving here without Danielle as my wife. That way, she couldn't change her mind. My stomach fluttered with nerves as Danielle stepped to the edge of the aisle. She was about to start down it when Brent appeared.

"Wait!" He yelled, and my stomach dropped. Was he going to make a scene? Was he going to make this all difficult?

Brent stepped toward Dani and whispered something in her ear. I started to advance up the aisle, to confront Brent if he tried to stop the wedding. Danielle held up a hand and I stopped, curious. She leaned toward her father and then nodded, a smile forming on her face. Relief flooded me and I went back to the arch. Danielle beamed as she nodded at the musicians to start playing once more. I couldn't believe this was happening. Was I truly about to marry Danielle Wilson, the one and only woman I'd ever loved? My breath hitched in my throat, my heart racing in my chest. My eyes locked on Danielle's and suddenly there was no one else. We were the only ones that existed. As she glided down the aisle beside her father, I could think of nothing but her. It wasn't soon enough when she and Brent finally stopped in front of me.

I stepped forward and offered my arm; Danielle looped hers through it. Before I had time to move Brent grasped my free arm in a death grip. He leaned forward so that only I could hear him.

"You take care of her, alright? If I hear one word about you mistreating her—I swear to God there'll be consequences."

I looked him in the eye and nodded. "I will cherish your daughter like the gem she is. I give you my word."

He nodded solemnly. Then he stepped away, somewhat reluctantly, and joined Sally in the front row. I returned my eyes to Dani with a smile I couldn't take off my face. I led her carefully up the two steps, and stopped in front of the minister. Truth be told I barely heard a word the man said. It didn't matter to me. All that mattered was that I was here, about to be bound to Danielle in the most amazing way possible. Finally it was time for the vows. The minister looked at me expectantly; wasn't he supposed to have something for me to say? I looked at Danielle, giving her a look. She glanced around at the congregation before meeting my eyes. I leaned forward.

"Didn't you two write something?"

"No!" She whispered back urgently.

"What?" I demanded, as quietly as possible. Danielle looked as though she was about to laugh.

"Stan though it'd be more romantic if we wrote them down and said them ourselves, without the reverend."

"Romantic? Are you saying I have to come up with something off the top of my head?"

"Well I'm no different!" She said desperately. I nodded.

"It's okay, calm down. I'll think of something." I straightened and cleared my throat. I could imagine James' witty remark to get on with the ceremony, and couldn't help but grin.

"It seems there's been a slight miscommunication." I said with a small laugh. A few people chuckled, but most of them remained solemn. I took both of Danielle's hands in mine and looked into her mocha brown eyes. For a moment I froze, my mind going blank and my heart racing erratically. But then she smiled, and I knew everything would be okay; no matter what happened I would have Danielle, and nothing could change that. I returned her smile as words slowly started to form in my mind.

"Danielle, this day has been a long time coming. For reasons unknown to us, fate has kept us apart until now. But everything happens for a reason. My life before, without you, was always incomplete….empty, in a way. Now that I finally have you I feel like I'm completing a journey. Like this is what I was always meant to do—to love you, and to be there for you. I promise to be the best man that I can be, for both you and our daughter. I choose you, Dani, to be my wife for now and forever." I stared into her beautiful eyes as I spoke, mesmerized by them. I felt Danielle's hand shake through her glove as she smiled up at me. For a moment there was silence.

Then she began. "Sirius, you bring out the best of me when I'm with you. And, also the worst." A chuckle went through the crowd at that. "But now that I'm here, with you, I can't imagine how I ever felt anything else could be right. Though sometimes I just want to strangle you, I pray that I'll never have to leave your side. I promise to love you in all of your forms, both good and bad, and to always try my best to be the person you and Emilia need me to be. I love you, and I want you for my husband until death breaks us apart."

The rest of the ceremony was lost to my ears as I started at the woman I loved—the woman I would spend the rest of my life with, loving and cherishing. I tightened my fingers around hers when her smile grew at the minister's words. I glanced distractedly at the minister, absently wondering when he'd get to the most important part. Finally, an unbearable ten minutes later, I was handed Danielle's ring, and she mine. We both repeated our lines perfectly after the minister, and slid the band of cool metal onto each other's left middle finger. And then, at long last, I pulled her to my chest, slipping an arm around her back, and kissed her softly. One of Danielle's gloved hands rested on my shoulder and the other on my cheek. The kiss was very chaste in light of our actions up in the hotel room, but it was perfect.

"I present to you, the new Mr. and Mrs.—"

"—Black." I whispered quickly as the minister glanced at me.

He looked slightly exasperated as he said, "Sirius Black."

Everyone clapped politely, but it was obvious the bizarre turn of events had affected the crowd. The guests who had come for Stanley, family and friends, all bore expressions of confusion or resentment. I couldn't blame them; I'd be pretty narked myself if I'd come for a wedding that didn't happen. Danielle glowed beside me and our joy radiated around us. I could hardly believe this was real. For a moment I closed my eyes tightly, imagining that perhaps this was all a wistful dream. When I opened them Emilia was running toward me with excitement. I bent to sweep her into my arms and spun in a circle. Emmy giggled, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Daddy! You married Mummy!" She laughed again, but then turned more serious. "Why didn't Stan marry Mum?"

"Because," Danielle interjected, reaching over to tickle Emilia's stomach. "Mummy and Stan realized that they didn't love each other. Not nearly as much as I love your father."

Emilia beamed at the both of us before wriggling out of my arms and racing off to find Sally. As everyone filed into the hotel for the reception, I pulled Danielle to the side for a moment alone. I encircled my arms around her and linked my fingers together at the small of her back. She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I can't believe this is real," I whispered, resting my forehead against hers. "An hour ago I was leaving because I couldn't watch you marry someone else, and now you're my wife."

"You'd better believe it, because now you're stuck with me."

I smiled and pulled her closer, pressing her to my chest for a moment.

"I love you." I said, grinning. "And this time I'll say those words as many times as you need to hear them."

"Can I let you in on a little secret?" She asked me in a whisper.

"As your husband, I'm now entitled to know all of your secrets."

Danielle chuckled as she met my eyes. "A wise man once told me that words are deceiving, but actions aren't. I will never doubt your love for me, Sirius."

A smile of surprise sprang to my lips. Those were words I had spoke before she broke up with me in seventh year. Leaning down, I put my lips tenderly to hers. I felt Dani's smile through the kiss.

"We should get inside," she whispered in my ear. I nodded and pulled away before leading her toward the entrance.

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><p><strong>Annnddd, cue the hate reviews! ;) Hahah I love you guys regardless, even if I never meant for Dani for be hated. :) <strong>


	22. This is War

**Me updating before 10 o'clock at night two weeks in a row? I think I'm sick! Hahah. :) Actually, I am sick, but that's not important. Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy it. :) Lots of love!**

**~Ouaysis. **

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><p>Things started to settle down a bit after the reception started. Stan's guests were still uncertain about the turn of events, but Danielle's family and friends were having a grand time. They continued to come up to her, saying, "I knew you'd never marry that boy," or "You always have had a drama streak," and other similar things. Stan insisted on giving a speech and reassured everyone that we were all happier this way. I admit that I was grateful; his relatives kept giving me dirty looks and glaring at Danielle and me. Emilia enjoyed running back and forth from the two of us to her grandparents.<p>

I took in a deep breath and stepped out of the hotel bathroom dressed in a pair of comfortable trousers. A smile came to my lips when I caught sight of my daughter. Emmy was curled up on the bed, her slumber causing her chest to rise and fall softly. I passed her and continued to the balcony, where Danielle stood enjoying the fresh air and Hawaiian sunset. She had also changed from her wedding gown and now wore a simple white strapless dress; her feet were bare like mine. I stepped behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, brushing my lips against her bare shoulders and back of her neck. Dani sighed happily and covered my hands with her own.

"This is a dream," she said quietly, rubbing her thumb across the back of my hand.

"Mmmm," I replied as I continued to brush my lips over her skin. She turned in my arms and wrapped her own around my neck.

"I'm so sorry, Sirius," she said gently, her face solemn as she met my gaze.

"For what?"

"Everything." Danielle sighed and dropped her arms. She reached down and started to pick at her dress. For a moment she continued in that manner while I looked down at her gently. Finally she brought her face up and met my eyes. She shook her head.

"I've put you through so much crap in the last several months. And here you are, my husband…I don't deserve you."

"No, Danielle, don't say that." I told her. "We've all made mistakes."

"Perhaps…but you, Sirius…you've continued to love me, even when I denied you, when I gave you our daughter and left." Dani reached her hand up and placed it against my cheek. "I tried to convince myself that I didn't love you, that it was just because you were the father of my child and everything you had done. But when we left, after the tour, I felt…empty, I guess. I started to realize that I didn't want to live my life without you. I was scared and couldn't image that you would ever forgive me, let alone take me back. And I was a coward for not breaking off my engagement to Stan earlier and I—"

"Shhh," I said, shaking my head. I put my index finger to her lips, resting my forehead against hers. "The past is the past, love."

Danielle sighed and closed her eyes a moment. "I suppose you're right. I'm sorry; this is a bad topic for our honeymoon."

I laughed and pulled away a moment, to look into her eyes.

"I hardly think this qualifies as a honeymoon." I chuckled while glancing at our sleeping daughter inside. Danielle followed my gaze and laughed herself. Turning back to me, she shrugged.

"Still, I don't see why we can't enjoy ourselves."

She grinned and knotted her fingers in my hair, putting her lips to mine. I smiled and pulled her closer as I deepened the kiss. Time lost all meaning for me as I held her in my arms. An odd noise had me pulling away, my heart racing from the nearness of my wife.

"Sirius?" Danielle asked. "What….?"

I shook my head and gestured for her to be quiet. And then, I heard it again.

A muffled voice, calling me: "Sirius! Damn it! Sirius, quickly! Pick up your bloody mirror!"

"What in the world?" Dani breathed, looking at me with wide eyes.

Holding up my hand, I stepped into the room and rushed to the table where my two-way mirror sat, face down. I flipped it over only to see the anxious face of James staring back at me.

"James? What in Merlin's name is going on?"

"It's started, Sirius." He said solemnly, and I didn't need to ask what he meant. The last couple of weeks had been tragic and bitter on the warfront. Voldemort was advancing steadily. Now he'd finally broken through our last protections, it seemed.

"The Ministry has fallen; he's going for Hogwarts next. We need you. Danielle too if she's willing."

"What's wrong?" Dani asked, coming up behind me. "James? Is that you?"

"What is she doing in your room?" Demanded James, his face temporarily splitting into a frown.

"No time to explain," I said. "We'll be there as soon as we can."

James nodded seriously as he, too, remembered the severity of the situation. I put down the mirror and immediately started searching for a shirt.

"Voldemort's taken the Ministry and is starting for Hogwarts. I have to get back to England and help them fight."

Danielle set her jaw and nodded firmly.

"I'll go with you."

"You're sure?" I asked. Half of me wanted her to stay, where she would be safe, and half of me knew we would need all the wands we could find.

"Yes. This is my world too, Sirius. Do you think he'll stop after he conquers Britain?"

I met her eyes and knew from her look that I didn't need to answer her.

"Go, tell my mother. She'll have to watch Emilia."

Nodding in agreement, I snatched my wand from the dresser and shoved some shoes on my feet on my way out the door. My long strides had me in front of Sally's door in moments. I knocked violently, praying that she and Bret were not asleep yet. I waited for a long moment with my heart pounding until Sally finally opened the door. Her expression was tired, but she was wearing a pair of trousers and a shirt rather than her night clothes.

"Sally," I said quickly. "There's an emergency back at home, in our world. We need you to take Emmy. I don't know when we'll be back, but we will come as soon as we're able."

She nodded solemnly without question and I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't have time to explain; gratitude filled me at Sally's trust in me.

"Lead the way," she told me, though I knew she was already aware of the location of my room. I nodded curtly and practically ran to the room. Danielle had changed hastily into trousers and a shirt and had put some shoes on. She looked up anxiously from where she sat by Emmy, running over to her mother to hug her. I passed them in order to say goodbye to Emilia.

My heart was heavy as I leaned down and pressed my lips to my daughter's forehead. I stayed there for a moment, my eyes closed. Then I straightened and looked to Danielle, who nodded solemnly. At the same time we reached for the other's hand. My fingers curled around hers, but I didn't have time to marvel at the jolt of electricity that passed between us.

"You know America more than I do. Get us as close to England you can; I'll do the rest."

She nodded, giving one last look at our sleeping daughter before squaring her shoulders and Apparating. We landed with a small _pop_ in a woman's bathroom, though luckily inside of an unoccupied stall. Despite the dire circumstances, I couldn't help but grin and raise my eyebrows at her in question. Danielle just rolled her eyes and Apparated once more. This time we landed in a deserted alleyway.

"We're in New York. This is as far as we can go."

I looked at her and met her gaze. Her brown eyes were filled with determination, but also fear. I knew exactly how she felt. With a small squeeze of her hand I reassured her. And then I closed my eyes and concentrated with all my might on a place I hadn't been in years: Hogsmeade. An abhorrent screeching filled my ears when we landed, but I simply ignored it and led Danielle down High Street at a run. Even with the shouts echoing behind us we didn't stop. My lungs begged for air when we finally reached the gates of Hogwarts. I could sense the many spells and jinxes protecting the castle looming in the distance and felt relief that they had yet to be broken. A figure emerged from the shadows behind the gate and I immediately recognize James. He pointed his wand at me and Danielle, Lily a step behind him.

"Is it really you?" He asked suspiciously. I nodded.

"In third year I set you on fire in our dormitory and Remus had to put you out. You refused to go to the hospital wing, instead telling Professor McGonagall next morning you'd tried to trim your own hair only to have the spell back fire."

James smiled a bit at the memory and nodded. Lily lifted her wand at Dani. Though I felt a small spurt of annoyance, I knew it was necessary. She'd been with me since Hawaii—clearly she wasn't a Death Eater merely impersonating her. Still, they couldn't know that for sure unless she was questioned as well.

"What did I say to you the day we said goodbye on the train after graduation?"

"You said, 'you're making a horrible mistake, but I'm not thick enough to argue with you.'"

I looked at Lily in astonishment. "You said that?"

"We don't have time to inflate your big head, Sirius," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Right," I said, focusing my attention once more on the impending battle. James and Lily opened the gates just enough for Dani and I to slip through.

"Where do you need us?" Danielle asked.

"Moody's in the Entrance Hall shouting orders." Lily pointed at the castle and both Danielle and I nodded.

For a moment I wished I could tell James and Lily the good news; I was married! But I knew a conversation as trivial as that did not belong on the doorstep of a battle, and so I stayed silent. Our hands were still intertwined as we approached the steps of Hogwarts castle.

"About time you showed up, you mangy mutt." Moody growled as we approached. I opened my mouth to protest, but he waved a hand to the side in dismissal.

"Oh, don't bother. The two of you start patrolling the grounds; there can never be enough out there. And try not to get yourselves blasted to pieces."

Danielle and I exchanged glances and did as instructed. She gripped my hand as we walked around the ground of Hogwarts. It was odd being here, after all these years, after everything that's happened. But it also felt good, as though I had come home after a long time away. Dani and I stopped when we saw Molly and Arthur Weasley arguing with their oldest son.

"You can't say here, Bill. You're to go home and watch the others." Molly said.

"No!" The boy said indignantly, crossing his arms. "Mum, I want to stay and fight. I want to help!"

"Absolutely not!"

"Molly, perhaps—"

She turned on her husband with tears in her eyes. "Don't you _dare_, Arthur! He's our _son_, our eldest child! I won't have him out here like a….a—I just won't stand for it!"

I knew it had to be hard for her. She'd lost her twin brothers, Gideon and Fabian, only two months ago at the hands of Antonin Dolohov. The amount of deaths was staggering, but I was relieved that the final moment had arrived at last. This was it. Either we won or we lost.

"I'm not leaving. I'll be coming of age in a few months—McGonagall said I could stay."

"She's not your mother!"

Arthur opened his mouth once again, but didn't have time to speak. A different voice, a snake-like voice, that slithered and almost hissed, echoed throughout the whole of Hogwarts.

"I have given you a fair warning." Voldemort said, in a placating tone. "And yet you continue to resist. I see now that I will have to prove to you my power and strength. Dumbledore, I speak directly to you. Come to me, fight me, and I will spare the lives of the others. If you do not, then I shall enter the battle directly, and all will feel my wrath."

The Weasley's had to no time to continue their argument. Death Eaters, giants, Inferi, and all number of dark creatures rushed against the gates. As one, they raised their wands and uttered an incantation. The protective spells, the orb of safety that covered Hogwarts, visibly shuttered. Despite the enchantments being said by many to reinforce the shield, the Death Eaters broke through. I watched in horror as the Dark Lord's forces advanced against the castle. Teachers, students, and Order members alike joined the fray. Suddenly spells, charm, and curses flew everywhere. A small group of Inferi stumbled toward us, surprisingly quick. Pointing my wand, I shouted, "_Incendio!"_ and one of them caught fire and burned to ashes.

Danielle released my hand in order to duel a wizard following the Dark Lord. I hated that I no longer had the assurance that she was at least relatively safe, but I knew it had to be that way. We had bigger things to worry about. Once the Inferi were all ashes in the grass I turned to catch a glance of Danielle. She had moved on to helping two other Order members take down a giant. Reminding myself that she could take care of herself, I looked at the many battles all around me. I saw Remus and Tonks fighting against Dolohov. James was to my left, barely holding back two masked Death Eaters. I ran to his aid, aiming as I did, and shouted, "_Stupefy!"_

The Death Eater on James's right fell to the ground. The other was unfortunately not distracted and a jet of red light grazed James's shoulder. However, I had provided James with enough to get the upper hand in the battle. The Death Eater toppled to the ground beside his comrade.

"Thanks," James said, gasping as he caught his breath. I nodded grimly just as I saw a dark figure in the corner of my eye.

Bellatrix's maniacal laugh pieced the air as she chased after several Hogwarts students that had stayed to fight, aiming Cruciatus curses at them. Anger seared inside of me. She could torture me, but I would not stand for her inflicting such terrible pain on children. I thought of Emilia and was grateful that she was too young for Hogwarts, and that she was safe in a different country. Her smiling face still burned in my mind as I ran after my sadistic cousin, dodging curses as I did.


	23. Broken and Battered

**Hey everyone! This new format is kind of throwing me off. o.O How are you liking it? I'm not sure yet, hahaha. I will be traveling to my sister's next week, so I won't be updating until Thursday or Friday, depending on how things go. Anyways, here's the new chapter! Whoo! :) Comments are always appreciated! 3 Love you guys!**

**~Ouaysis.**

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><p>The destruction was even more obvious inside the castle. Emerald and ruby stones were spilled over the floor as the result of the Gryffindor and Slytherin House hourglasses being shattered from stray curses. There were gaping holes in the walls of several corridors, and the sight made me angry. Hogwarts was a safe haven, a home for so many innocent children, a refuge for those whose home life was far from pleasant. And Voldemort and his followers were destroying it without a second thought. The demented werewolf Fenrir Greyback was leaning over the mangled body of a student in the Entrance Hall. Disgust and horror pitted in my stomach and I aimed a stunning jinx at him. It hit him in the back and his body froze before toppling to the ground. Kicking him viciously, I passed them and continued in my pursuit of Bellatrix.<p>

I found her in the Great Hall, wreaking havoc and dueling Molly Weasley. I remembered the students, and my hatred doubled. Bellatrix was everything my parents wanted. Even Regulus wasn't as sadistic and unbalanced as our dear cousin. It made me wonder how she had become so insane.

"Oi!" I shouted. "You and I have some unfinished business, cousin dear."

Bellatrix turned, a vile smile curled over her lips. Molly sent a curse at her, but even with her attention on me Bellatrix managed to block it.

"Yes," she crooned. "And in a moment your poor, dear little Emmy will have no daddy. Such a shame, really. There will be no one left to protect her."

With a snarl I lunged at her, physically knocking her to the ground. We grappled for a moment, until she gained the upper hand and kicked me off of her with a foot to my gut. I grunted and scrambled to my feet, Bellatrix doing the same. Her brown eyes burned with hatred, her face twisted in a grotesque grin. Flashes of red, green, yellow, and other various colors sparked between us as we shot curses at and blocked each other's spells.

"You should have died years ago, Sirius." She spat at me. "You should have died the day you betrayed your family."

I didn't give her the satisfaction of a response. Though I would never admit it, Bellatrix was a very clever witch, and her twisted mind and lack of morals made it easier to best her opponent in battle. I was losing my footing, but I would not die at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange. She laughed, flicking her wrist to deflect my hex.

"Poor wittle Sirius," she said in a sing-song voice. "Everything will be gone; your daughter, your little girlfriend. Nothing can withstand the might of the Dark Lord! Give up, Sirius. Bow down to the Dark Lord! _Imperio!_"

I managed to dodge her curse, but she didn't seem perturbed by it. In fact, she only laughed harder. From behind me a jet of light sped straight toward my cousin. Bellatrix froze; her face still alighted with laughter. She fell to the ground and her wand clattered to the floor beside her. I turned in bewilderment and saw Molly Weasley, her eyes burning and mouth set in a grim line. I gave her a solemn nod of thanks. She was dead. Bellatrix would never again take another innocent man's life, never torture another child. As much satisfaction as that brought me, I was grateful to not have her blood on my hands. I bent down to retrieve her wand—just to be sure—when I was hit in the back with a curse. Mind-numbing pain exploded in my chest as I felt several of my ribs break. I gasped in an excruciating breath, stumbling and tipping forward. Stretching out my hands, I managed to catch myself, but the weight was too much and my elbows buckled.

_No!_ I thought desperately when my wand shot from my hand and skittered across the stone floor. Dark spots danced before my eyes. I forced myself to move forward, pain ripping through my chest with every motion of my arms. I reached my wand just as a pair of dirty trainers stepped into my line of vision. A woman's hand reached down and picked up my wand. I prayed she was on my side. When Lily pulled me up and steadied me on my feet I breathed a sigh of relief, and then hissed at the pain.

"Here," she handed me my wand. I thanked her with a nod, unable to form any words through the burning, stabbing, excruciating pain. "Hold still."

Lily pressed her own wand to my back gently and spoke a spell under her breath. My hands were clenched at my sides, but I slowly released them as the pain eased to a dull ache. I took in a tentative breath and was relieved to not be met by pain. I turned to face Lily.

"Thank you," I said.

"Anytime." She said grimly.

"See which way that bastard went?"

"Up the staircase," Lily pointed, before hurrying to an injured student moaning on the ground. I didn't question why Lily was inside healing instead of fighting. She was safer that way. She had always had a knack for healing magic, and it was important to heal injuries before they got too severe.

I ran for the staircase and charged up it. An Auror and Death Eater were already dueling in the corridor, stepping over broken chips of stone and a few bodies as they both battled for the upper hand. Ignoring them, I darted into the opposite corridor in pursuit of the witch or wizard who had tried to kill me. I'd just seen the end of a black cloak turn around the corner when I heard a monstrous roar. I looked out of the window to my left. Too late I realized that a giant was on the other side and the wall exploded as the monster smashed his gigantic club into it. Chunks of stone flew every which way. A relatively large lump of stone caught me in the stomach and threw me back against the opposite wall. A fierce ache split my skull as it collided with the stone. I felt the sticky substance of blood start to drip down the side of my face. Groaning, coughing, and clutching my bruised abdomen, I abandoned my chase and instead decided to go back outside. I barely had reached the end of the corridor, limping from a cut on my thigh, when Voldemort's voice once again began to echo through the castle.

"You have continued to defy me." I could hear the barely contained rage in his voice. "You have killed my most trusted and loyal servant. And now you all shall die."

Screams rent the air, louder and more hysterical than ever before. I nearly ran into Danielle on the way down the stairs and grabbed her hand, only having time to meet her eyes. Together we ran outside, where we saw a horrifying scene. Voldemort was flying on a cloud of smoke—how, I did not know. He waved his wand about his head, and everywhere he went bodies dropped to the ground like poisoned rats. I gripped Dani's hand tighter.

"I love you," I whispered. She squeezed my hand and nodded.

"I love you, Sirius."

Just then Kingsley Shacklebolt ran past, heading for Lord Voldemort. Tonks trailed behind him. She met my eyes and slowed.

"Where's Remus?" I asked. Tonks glanced over her shoulder anxiously.

"He was fighting Malfoy last I saw him. He insisted that I go help Lily." She swore under her breath and started towards the castle we had just left, shaking her head. Wordlessly I led Danielle forward.

A pair of Death Eaters approached, and Danielle and I were forced to separate once more as we engaged in separate duels. Yaxley's face was devoid of a mask. I gritted my teeth when the curse he aimed at me skimmed across my arm. My body ached from being hit with various spells and I was bleeding in several places. Not to mention the explosion and nearly being impaled with a rock. I fueled my anger, frustration, fear, and desperation into my fight and quickly had Yaxley defeated. I didn't stay to be sure he was dead; I just kicked his wand into the grass and ran toward the dark figure fast approaching.

Dumbledore and Voldemort were dueling, a blur of light, dirt, and smoke surrounding them. James stopped beside me, clutching something silver in his hand. I turned to get a proper look and frowned in confusion.

"What the bloody hell are you doing with a sword?"

He looked distracted as he stared at a strange orb glowing just inside the swirling mixture around the two wizards.

"James, what are you planning?" I demanded, knowing the expression he had in his eyes. He looked worse than I felt. His bottom lip was cut, and a nasty gash ran across his right temple. Various cuts and bruises littered his arms and his clothes were peppered with holes. Dirt, blood, and sweat covered him, just as I was sure it covered me.

"We have to kill the snake." He said, finally turning to look at me. He held up the sword. "This is the sword of Godric Gryffindor. Fawkes—Dumbledore's phoenix—just dropped the Sorting Hat, and this came out of it."

"A sword came out of a hat?" I asked incredulously, half wondering if he was joking, or possibly going mad.

"Sirius, the snake! We have to kill it. Otherwise this was all for nothing. Otherwise he wins."

I read the seriousness in his eyes, the determined set of his mouth, and nodded.

"Tell me what to do."

After a short explanation and an even shorter discussion, James and I started together for Voldemort and Dumbledore. The cloud of debris no longer surrounded them, but they continued to shoot spells at each other, often not speaking.

"You are a fool, Dumbledore." Voldemort hissed. "A fool to think you can defeat me. I would have accepted all of them into the order of my new world, but now they all will die for your cowardice and imprudence."

"_You_ are the fool, Tom, to think that any man could be immortal."

Voldemort snarled and sent Dumbledore flying backwards. A Death Eater approached his master cautiously. He knelt in the grass and kept his head down as he said, "My Lord, the werewolves are—"

"Silence! Everyone is to stop fighting."

"But, My Lord, I—"

"Do not disobey me, Rookwood, or you will regret it. The fighting is to cease. I have decided to show how merciful a lord I can be. Dumbledore will be destroyed, and then I will deal with the rest."

"Yes, My Lord," Rookwood stood and began to spread the message. With the fighting coming to a halt a crowd began to gather around Dumbledore and Voldemort. The survivors gathered fearfully in a circle, giving the wizards a wide berth.

"What's going on?" Frank Longbottom asked, coming up beside me. His eyes were locked on Dumbledore and Voldemort, as were most everyone else's. James gripped the sword in both hands on my left. We exchanged glances, communicating effectively without speaking one word. I turned to Frank.

"We have to kill his snake. If one or both of us dies, do everything you can to kill it." I told him, gripping his shoulders earnestly. His eyes went wide for a moment, but he glanced in the direction of Nagini, Voldemort's large snake. I knew he understood. Together James and I began to advance through the gathering crowd, in attempt to get the best possible position of attack.

When James stopped I met his eyes again and he nodded curtly. While Voldemort was distracted dueling Dumbledore we had to attack. Raising the sword above his head, James ran forward and plunged it into the glowing orb. A blinding flash of light, followed by a minor explosion disrupted the battle between Dumbledore and Voldemort. Voldemort was about to turn on me when Dumbledore hit him with a spell and he was forced to retaliate, snarling. Doing my best to ignore the limp James I shot several spells at the orb in succession, praying that one of them would work. Despite the large crack that splintered the orb, originating from the sword of Gryffindor, which was half stuck in the orb, nothing happened.

"_Confringo_!" I shouted, and relief filled me when the orb finally shattered, dropping the huge snake into the grass. It hissed and started to advance toward me with alarming speed. Voldemort's scream of fury echoed across the grounds. This time he ignored Dumbledore and aimed his wand directly at my chest. I managed to dodge the streak of green light, but it hit a student behind me and he dropped to the ground.

"Sirius!"

My eyes had been locked on Voldemort and Dumbledore, who'd just sent the Dark Lord flying across the grounds. Only too late did I remember the snake, and turned back to see it spring forward. Thick fangs, dripping with venom, were aimed at my neck, but I stood frozen. A blur of brown and gray and then a scream I recognized as Danielle's pulled me from my stupor. It took me a moment to realize that she'd jumped in front of me and had been bitten instead.

"No!" I shouted, anger boiling in my blood as Nagini attacked Dani, who lay on the ground, blood pouring from a bite on her shoulder.

"_Avada Kedavra!" _

Voldemort's scream of fury, Dumbledore's shout of agony, and then the crowd's gasp of horror and collective yell of disbelief all mingled into one grotesque note, piercing the air. Nagini dropped to the ground, and just to be certain I set her corpse ablaze. I dropped to Dani's side and began to attend to her wounds.

"No," she said, gripping my hand with her blood-stained one. "I'm fine, Sirius. Go!"

I tried to protest, but she pushed me away. It was obvious that she was far from fine, and though it was painful, I forced myself to stand up and leave my wife's side. I saw Molly Weasley take my place from the corner of my eye. Voldemort turned to me, his snake-like eyes burning with barely contained fury. My eyes travelled to the crumbled form of Dumbledore behind him. _No_, I thought in shock. _No! Get up, get up! ALBUS, GET UP!_ He was just buying time, pretending so that he could attack at the precise moment. At least, that's what I told myself. Fear ripped through me as Voldemort slowly advanced towards me, wand held aloft and face twisted in disgust and hate. I gripped my wand tighter and held my head up higher. I would die with dignity, not begging like the pathetic scum he thought I was. I heard a sob come from someone in the crowd, but pushed it to the back of my mind, just as I ignored the sudden feeling of hopelessness and despair rippling through the crowd. He wasn't dead. He _couldn't_ be dead!

Voldemort smiled, and it was perhaps more grotesque and horrific than a grimace. A face like his, purposefully distorted and changed, was not made to smile.

"Sirius Black." His voice was soft, and all the more disturbing. "Cousin to my loyal servant Bellatrix. Your blood is some of the purest there is. I could have made you great, given birth to your wildest dreams. And yet you chose to fight on the side of these _scum_, these traitors and mud-bloods."

Here he paused and turned to the crowd. Still smiling, he pointed to the broken body of Dumbledore.

"Albus Dumbledore is dead!" The glee in his voice was palpable. I refused to believe that one of the greatest men I knew—one of the best wizards of all time—was dead.

"I was prepared to forgive those of you who were worthy. But now," he turned back to me, circling me slowly. His eyes burned with hate and his face twisted in a sneer. "Now that you have shown your insubordination, now that you have proven that you can never be loyal servants, forgiveness is out of the question. You all shall be punished. The first to be dealt with will be you, Sirius Black, for you have killed my beloved Nagini."

Voldemort raised his wand slowly. "Perhaps…." He crooned. "Perhaps, if you wish to join me, than a punishment other than death can be arranged?"

I spat at his feet. "I will never join you, not even if hell froze over and fire rained from the heavens."

A deep, twisted, dark chuckle came from Voldemort. "Very well then, blood traitor. _Avada—"_

A gasp went through the crowd. Voldemort looked at me, stunned, and then fell to the ground. I didn't dare hope that it was real—that he was truly dead. James stood several meters behind him, wand pointed forward. Everything happened in a blur as every witch and wizard not on the Dark Lord's side began to cheer.

There was a faint shout of, "No!" followed by the sound of someone in excruciating pain. It took me a moment to realize that the remaining Death Eaters had all aimed a Cruciatus Curse at James, who had been knocked to the ground by Frank Longbottom. Aurors and Ministry wizards immediately reacted by stunning the Death Eaters and taking them into custody. But the damage had been done. Frank lay on the grass, sweating and panting, a glossy look in his eyes that hadn't been there moments before. I was torn between going to him and James or Danielle. Glancing behind my shoulder, I saw that Molly was still kneeling over her. I hated to leave her, but there wasn't much I could do that Molly couldn't, so I forced myself forward.

"James," I said. "Frank. Are you okay?"

Frank was curled in fetal position, shaking his head and mumbling. An uneasy feeling began to pit in the bottom of my stomach. He'd been hit with nearly seven curses at once. Though he hadn't endured them long, I couldn't imagine the power the spells must have contained. All of the Death Eaters were furious, and that no doubt had been infused into each of their curses. Physically he didn't look much damaged—cuts and scrapes all over and a bruise over his right eye. James had gone unconscious again. His hands were burned and his clothes, especially his shirt, were singed. His face was covered in dirt, blood, and soot from the explosion. I checked his pulse to ensure that he was in fact only unconscious. Once I was satisfied that James was still alive I turned my attention on Frank.

"Frank?" I asked, sitting him up. "Frank, can you hear me?"

His eyes were unfocused, and no matter how hard I tried he wouldn't look directly at me. I thought of his son, the same age as Harry. Had Alice made it? If not, then the boy would practically be an orphan. I knew that even if wasn't completely mad, Frank would never be the same again. I didn't let myself think about how sad that was. I just stood up and forced Frank to his feet beside me.


	24. The Aftermath

**Hey everyone! I managed to update before Saturday! (Just barely, hahaha). I feel like this chapter was a little rushed, but I'm just not sure. I edited this rather quickly, because I was trying to get it up for you guys, so if you see any mistakes at all please let me know. Reviews are always appreciated. Love you all!**

**~Ouaysis. **

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><p>As Deputy Headmistress, McGonagall took charge of the aftermath. I stood in the Entrance Hall, amidst the house gems that still littered the floor, taking a moment to breathe and think. <em>It's real<em>, I told myself. _They're really both dead_. I didn't want to believe it, but the broken, lifeless body of the great Albus Dumbledore was impossible to ignore. A lump formed in my throat. I had never been very close to him, but he'd been my headmaster. I had planned and plotted alongside him in the Order. It just seemed surreal to think that his sparkling blue eyes would never shine again. We defeated Voldemort, but not with a large amount of losses. Aurors ran about, taking care of the remaining of Voldemort's forces that hadn't immediately ran once it was clear the Dark Lord was truly dead. Students, teachers, and a few remaining Ministry wizards wondered the grounds in search of the wounded and dead. The Great Hall was filled with the injured and the dead. My heart felt heavy, wondering how many of the bodies lining the left of the Great Hall I knew.

The castle was half destroyed, and it would take a lot of work to rebuild. Everything would. All of the severely injured—James, Danielle, Frank, and a few others—had been taken to St. Mungo's right away. Dread filled me as I slowly made my way to the Great Hall. Dumbledore was the first I saw. He looked peaceful, as though he was sleeping. His hands rested on his chest and for the first time I realized that his right hand was black and looked as though the skin was dead. With a frown I absently wondered what had caused the damaged. Swallowing back my sorrow, I continued down the line of bodies. I recognized more than I would have like to. Nearly half of the bodies were students, who would have left Hogwarts in several months' time if not for their premature deaths. I recognized several Order witches and wizards, including Alice Longbottom. My heart skipped a beat and my step faltered when I reached a very familiar face.

Marie stood above him, sobbing into her hands. Reaching out, I pulled her into a comforting embrace. Peter's body lay on the cold stone floor below me. _No_, I thought helplessly. Though I wasn't close to him as I was with James or even Remus, he was still my friend. He was a Marauder—we'd been in and out of trouble together. A lump formed in my throat, burning as I tried to hold the tears back. Exhaustion didn't allow much more than several tears trailing down my grimy cheeks. Marie gripped me tightly, and I couldn't do much to console her except to hold her just as fiercely.

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><p>I felt as though I was asleep on my feet when I entered St. Mungo's at dawn the next morning. I'd spent all night helping to clean up the rubble and debris around Hogwarts. Minerva had at last ordered me off the premises and I immediately came here. Now, with nothing to keep my mind busy, I had time to think of all the dead bodies, all those who were seriously injured. Grief, worry, and fatigue all washed over me as I stumbled to the ward where Danielle and James were. I was surprised to see Tonks and Remus standing beside Dani's bed when I opened the door. In the dim lighting, I could see James several beds down, Lily at his side.<p>

"Sirius!" Tonks exclaimed, rushing forward and throwing her arms around me. "Thank Merlin! We didn't know if you'd made it out, after McGonagall sent us here with the injured."

I nodded tiredly. Tonks dropped her hands and stepped back.

"How is she?" I asked, nodding at Danielle.

"She'll be okay. At first they couldn't figure out how to stop the bleeding, but now she's stabilized. She's asleep."

"And you?"

"We're in one piece, even if just barely." Remus said, slipping an arm around his wife. "Should you tell Stan?"

"What?" I asked, my exhausted brain unable to remember that no one yet knew that Danielle married me instead.

"He ought to know his wife's in a critical state, even if he is a Muggle." Remus explained.

Shaking my head, I dropped into the chair beside Dani's bed.

"You're not going to tell him?" He asked incredulously. "Sirius, you can't—"

I put up a hand to stop him.

"I'll tell him, but it's not that important. She didn't marry him."

"She didn't? Then why is she wearing a ring?"

I shook my head again, my mind on the verge of shutting down. I had to fight to keep my eyes open. "I'll explain after I've slept a bit. How's James?"

Danielle kept her wedding band from Stan, but Stanley apparently had smaller hands than me. His ring hadn't fit, and though he had offered to give it to me, Dani and I decided to get my ring once we were home. At the time we hadn't known what would happen with the war, or anything else, really.

"Right enough," Tonks said. "The damage wasn't as bad as it looked. We'll leave you to get some sleep."

I nodded my thanks, not able to give much more of a response. Once they had quietly exited out of the ward I moved the chair closer, took Danielle's pale hand in mine, rested my head on my arms, and closed my eyes. I woke to the soft sound of footsteps. Groaning and stretching, I sat up to find Danielle watching me. She smiled weakly when I met her eyes. I smiled back and took her hand.

"Morning," I said softly. "How are you?"

"Okay." Dani said, her voice hoarse. "Have you seen James yet?"

I shook my head and lifted her hand to my lips. "I've been with you all night."

"You should go." She squeezed my hand gently and I took that as a good sign.

"I think my wife's more important than James, even if he is my best mate." I stood and brushed my knuckles across her forehead. Smiling, she shook her head.

"Perhaps, but I still think you should go over there. Lily just left to see Harry and Elaine."

The truth was I didn't want to see James that way. It was hard enough to see Danielle bandaged and pale; I didn't need to see James looking as though he was on death's doorstep as well. Not again.

"You're sure?" I asked, just as a healer appeared with a flask of red-colored potion. Dani nodded and reached for the glass the healer was now handing her. I watched as she drank the potion, then shuddered a little.

I turned to the healer. "What is that?"

"Blood-Replenishing Potion," she explained, holding up the now-empty glass. "She has to take it every hour, at least until we can find an antidote."

"Remus said everything was okay." My brow furrowed in confusion.

"It will be, Sirius." Danielle assured me. "I'll be fine. Go talk to your best friend, would you?"

I reluctantly left her side, holding onto her fingers as long as possible. When I stepped beside James' bed he was awake but alone.

"You look like shit, mate." I told him with a small smile. James chuckled lightly and folded the _Daily Prophet_ he'd been reading.

"You don't look much better."

I glanced down at my battered clothes and filthy skin. With I shrug I pulled a chair closer and sat down beside James.

"I was scared there for a bit," I said seriously, looking up at him. "I thought you were dead."

James stared down at his bandaged hands. A jolt of energy had gone through him when he'd plunged the sword into the orb. The result had been burns on his hands and a bit of singed hair. Though the combination of injuries was nearly fatal, he was no longer as critical as Danielle.

"For a moment there, so did I."

We were both silent for a long moment.

"Do you have any news about the….about who didn't make it?" Asked James, looking over at me. I glanced at my hands a moment before meeting his gaze again.

"Peter's dead."

The jolt of shock was visible on his face and I felt the grief crash over me all over again.

"He's dead, James. I just….I can't believe it." I shook my head, tears falling down my cheeks once more. I looked up to see James was crying as well.

"Does Remus know?"

"Dunno," I replied quietly, shaking my head once more. We were both silent for a long time, mourning the death of our friend and fellow Marauder, as well as the others we'd lost. At last James cleared his throat and glanced somewhere behind me.

"I saw you with Danielle." He said. "How did the wedding go?"

"She didn't marry Stanley."

He raised his eyebrows in question and I nodded. "So are you….together?"

I laughed and smiled. "Yeah, I suppose we are."

As much as I wanted to tell James that _I_ married Danielle, I knew this was neither the place nor the time. Standing up, I rubbed a hand through my grimy hair.

"I'm going to go home and clean up, and talk to Sally about bringing Emmy home." I said, my muscles stiff and aching from yesterday's battle. James nodded. "Don't take too long to get better."

"I'll be all right in a few days. Goodbye, Sirius."

I nodded and gripped his hand for a moment. I returned to Danielle's bedside to find her asleep. The healer walked by just then and I stopped her.

"Is she okay?"

"Yes," the healer said with a nod. "She's just asleep; she'll need a lot of that to keep her strength up."

I nodded and gave her another lingering look. "I hate to leave her, but….I must get cleaned up. Will you tell her I'll be back in a few hours?"

She gave me a sympathetic look and patted my hand. "Sure, love. As soon as she wakes up."

"Thank you," I said, turning back to Dani. I stepped closer to the bed and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead.

"Get better, love. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Kissing her forehead once more, I turned and forced myself to leave. My flat in London would be safe now that Voldemort and his Death Eaters were no longer a threat. After everything that had happened recently, I desperately needed some familiarity and comfort. I Apparated into my living room and for a moment collapsed into my armchair. I tried not to think of Peter, of Albus and Mad-Eye, and Alice Longbottom; all the students who had lost their lives in order to defeat the Dark Lord. They were still there, in my heart and the back of my mind, but I managed not to concentrate only on the dead. It wasn't all for nothing; Voldemort had been defeated. Groaning at my stiff and sore body, I pushed myself out of the chair in order to clean up and change my clothes.

I felt much better after my shower. The dirt and grime had been washed away, but the sadness and grief had not. It'd been a long time since I had used a Muggle telephone, but I knew there was no other way to contact Sally. Praying she was home, I went over to Victoria's house.

"Hello?" The older woman asked as she opened the door. "Sirius, dear? How are you? How's little Emmy?"

"We're both well, thank you. Er, actually, I was wondering if I could use the telephone? They seem to have shut mine off."

That was a lie, because I had never in fact owned one. But Victoria didn't need to know that. She smiled and nodded, allowing me to step into her flat. The woman led me to her kitchen, where she pointed to the phone that sat on her counter. It was good that I had paid attention in Muggles Studies, because Ms. Vickie watched me intently. I had long suspected she knew something was different about me and Emmy. I typed in the number to Sally's mobile and she answered on the third ring.

"Hullo?" I asked. "This is Sirius."

"Oh! How are you? Is Danielle okay?"

"Yes, we're both fine. Dani's a little beat up, but I'll explain everything later. I'll come to get Emilia tomorrow."

"Well that's a relief. That you're both okay, I mean. Are you sure tomorrow? Bret and I don't mind, really. She can stay as long as she needs."

"I know," I said. "And I appreciate that, but I think it'd be best if I come tomorrow. I'll make the arrangements and be there sometime in the afternoon. Are you still in the hotel?"

"No, our reservations ended last night. We've actually just landed at home in Connecticut."

"Where d'you live? The address, I mean."

Sally recited the address and I wrote it down on a small pad of paper Victoria had nearby.

"Thank you. Can I talk to Emilia?"

"Of course," Sally said and the mobile went blank a moment. Then the trilling voice of my daughter spoke.

"Hullo? Daddy?"

I smiled at the sound of Emilia's voice. "How are you? I'm sorry Mummy and I left while you were still asleep, but we didn't want to wake you."

"You should have," she said in a worried voice. She sounded so much like a grown-up it was frightening. "What if something had happened to you?"

I couldn't help but laugh at my eight-year-old. "I'm sorry, love. It was an emergency, but we're all safe now. Mummy will be okay in a bit, after she gets some rest."

I knew it would take more than that for Danielle to recover, but Emilia didn't need to know that yet. She would see for herself tomorrow what kind of shape her mum was in.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" She asked.

"Yes, kitten, I'm fine."

"Okay," Emmy allowed, though she didn't seem very convinced.

"I love you, Emilia. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you too, Dad."

She hung up Sally's phone after saying goodbye. I put Victoria's phone away and then turned to her.

"Thank you," I told her with a smile.

She nodded, an odd twinkle in her eyes. I suspected that she also knew who Dani was, and what my conversation with Emilia had implied.

"Finally found yourself a lucky girl to snatch up, eh?"

Chuckling, I shrugged. "Thank you again, Victoria."

"Don't mention it." Her look was kindly, and I knew she was genuinely happy for me. "Bring Emmy's mum around some time; we'll have some tea and biscuits."

I laughed and smiled, nodding.

"I will," I promised. We made small talk for another several minutes, until I left with the promise to return with Danielle and Emilia soon. I felt a little better, knowing that things would soon be getting back to normal.


	25. A Fresh Start

**Hey guys! I'm so, so sorry that it's taken me this long to get this up! :/ I've been trying so hard, but I just could not seem to write it. Since I'm staying with my sister until mid-July, I might not update regularly for a while. I apologize so much, but it's just not possible for me right now. I will do my best to update at least once every other week, but I just don't see me making my weekly updates like usual. I feel like this chapter is a little bit rushed, especially in the end, so PLEASE tell me what you think! Thank you for being so patient with me the past two weeks. I love you all!**

**~Ouaysis. **

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><p>I went to see Danielle at St. Mungo's before leaving to pick up Emilia. Yesterday after talking to Sally I had arranged with the Ministry to travel by Floo Powder to Sally and Bret's. The Healers still hadn't found an antidote to the snake venom slowly travelling through my wife's veins, but they had promised they were nearly there. She still had to take the Blood-Replenishing Potion every hour, but she didn't look much worse than she had yesterday, so I took that as a good sign. James was released this morning with orders to get a lot of rest. I doubted that he would listen, but we would all do our best to make certain he didn't overexert himself. Lily helped him limp over to Dani's bed to Remus and Tonks, where they were all waiting for me. Danielle and I had decided that it would be best to tell them all the news before I went to get Emilia, just in case she mentioned something to the others.<p>

"Everyone all right?" I asked, looking around at my friends. Remus nodded tiredly and James did the same reservedly. Both their wives gave me small smiles, which I took to mean 'yes'. I stepped up to the side of Dani's bed and took her hand in mine. We shared a smile before I cleared my throat and looked up.

"I…er, we….have something to tell you all." I started tentatively. Four pairs of eyes blinked back at us curiously. I didn't know about Remus' reaction, but I knew James was going to be at least a bit hacked off that I had waited until now to tell him I was married.

"You know how I mentioned we were…..well, together?" I asked James, who nodded.

"The reason Danielle didn't marry Stan is because she married me."

There, it was out. I held my breath, glancing from face to face. Tonks burst into a smile and stepped forward to hug me.

"I knew something was odd last night," Remus said with a grin.

Lily shook her head with a smile. "Congratulations, you two."

She hugged me and then Danielle. I glanced over at James, who was avoiding my gaze. I squeezed Dani's hand before approaching the man I considered my brother.

"James?" I asked uncertainly. He continued to ignore me for a few minutes.

Then he turned to me and yelled, "You're married? You wanker!"

"Er…I—"

"I can't believe you two got married without me! A man gets married, his best mate expects to be there!"

"I'm sorry, James," I said. "I would have got you there if I could have. It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to let anyone here know what was going on."

He narrowed his eyes at me for a moment and then sighed. A smile slowly spread over his lips. Standing up, he pulled me into a hug. I laughed and hugged him back.

"Congratulations, mate. But don't think I'll be letting you off easy."

I laughed again and glanced at my watch. "I'll remember that. I've got to go; Emmy will be waiting for me."

I Apparated back to my flat and then pocketed my small bag of Floo Powder. After making certain I had all I needed I pointed my wand at the fire and muttered, "_Incendio."_ Taking a small handful of Powder from the box on my mantle, I threw it into the flames. I recited the address Sally had given me and then stepped into the emerald green flames. Glimpses of peoples' homes flashed by as the uncomfortable sensation gripped me. Then suddenly I was stepping out into the posh living room of Bret and Sally Wilson. It was still odd to think of them as my in-laws, rather than just Emmy's maternal grandparents.

"Daddy!" Emilia exclaimed from the doorway, where they all had just appeared. I quickly brushed myself off before Emmy launched herself into my arms. Grunting, I held her tightly to my chest.

"There you are, love," I said softly, kissing the side of her head. "Have you missed me?"

Emilia pulled away and nodded vigorously. "I thought I might never see you again."

"Do you remember what I used to tell you when you were younger?" I asked her. I put Emilia down and knelt in front of her, gripping her shoulders gently in my hands.

"Yes." She said with a nod. "You always promised me that you'd never leave me."

I nodded in agreement. "That's right. And even if something had happened to me, I would still be with you."

Placing a hand over her heart, I looked my daughter in the eyes. "In here. I love you, Emilia, and not even death can take that away."

She nodded again more seriously, biting her lip. I smiled and pulled her close to me once again. Emmy wrapped her arms around my neck and for a long moment we stayed there. Eventually, I stood up and looked over at Bret and Sally. Danielle's parents were both smiling at me, which was a bit of a shock considering Bret had spent the last decade hating me. He gave me a curt nod as I took Emilia's hand.

"Have you got all your things?" I asked her. Emmy nodded before running off to get her bags. Before Emilia could come back I told them about Danielle.

"She's not as critical as she was last night, but they're still working on an antidote."

"What happened?" Bret asked, worry in his brown eyes. I shifted my position uncomfortably, uncertain of how to explain the war to a couple of Muggles. Even if they knew about our world, they weren't exactly informed about what went on.

"She….er, was attacked. By a snake."

"A snake?" Bret asked incredulously. I nodded.

"Yes. She bloody jumped in front of me." I said, sighing and shaking my head.

"How did she get so hurt by a snake?" Sally frowned in confusion.

"It was….er, poisonous, you could say. It's hard to explain."

"Can we see her?" Bret wanted to know. Sally nodded beside him, wrapping an arm around her husband's waist.

"They don't allow Muggles in St. Mungo's," I explained. "But as soon as she's released you're welcome to come stay with us a while."

Just then Emilia returned, struggling to pull her trunk into the room, her knapsack over one shoulder. I walked over to Emmy and helped her with the luggage.

"Say goodbye to your grandparents, love." I told her.

Nodding, Emilia went to give both Bret and Sally a hug. Sally hugged me before I could protest and Bret even shook my hand. I gave them both a small smile as I stepped back.

"Love you, Gran, love you, Papa." Emilia said as she pulled away, a large smile on her face. They nodded, peppering her with kisses and more hugs.

"Stay safe, darling," Sally said. Emmy smiled, nodding.

"All set to go?" I asked my daughter, pulling the pouch of Floo Powder from my trouser pocket. Emmy beamed up at me and smiled. Squeezing her hand, I stepped up to the fireplace once more.

I threw the powder into the fire I'd created before reciting my address. Picking up Emilia's trunk, I stepped into the flames with Emilia by my side. I felt her grip my hand tightly beside me and the squeezing sensation of Floo Powder suddenly took over. Within a few moments Emmy and I were stepping into the living room of our flat. Emilia coughed a few times before brushing herself off and then dropping her rucksack onto the sofa.

"Can we go see Mum?" She asked, looking up at me expectantly from where she sat beside her bag.

"Soon, love," I said as I gathered her things and took them to her room. "I said we would go over in an hour."

Emilia sighed but nodded. I knew we needed to talk before we went to see Danielle. Emmy didn't really know what had happened, or what the aftermath of the war would mean for me in my work. I made each of us a cup of tea before sitting down beside her.

"C'mere," I said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Emmy curled up against me, sipping her tea quietly.

"You remember about the war and the Death Eaters I talked to you about?"

"The ones that hurt you?" She asked softly, looking up at me with those deep chocolate eyes.

I nodded. "Yes, love, the ones that hurt me."

"Do they have Mummy?" I felt her small body tense up next to me.

"No," I reassured her quickly. "No, Mummy is in the hospital recovering. The reason we had to leave was because the war escalated and we had to come fight, to protect everyone."

"What happened?" She asked, her voice quiet and reserved.

"We won," I said, looking down and giving her a small smile. My expression soon turned to one of sadness, however, as I thought of all that we'd lost. "But not without losses. Many students and adults gave their lives to stop the Dark Lord….and….Uncle Peter was one of them."

Emilia was silent for a long time, the tea in her cup steadily growing cold. I took a drink out of my own cup as I waited for that bit of information to sink in. Finally she looked up at me, tears in her eyes and a few trailing down her cheeks. Peter and Emilia had never really spent time together, but he was my friend and truly like an uncle to her. It was a hard blow to all of us, especially Marie. I tightened my grip around Emmy's shoulders.

"What….what about Uncle James?" She asked quietly. "And Uncle Remus?"

"They're fine. A bit battered and cut up, but nothing too serious."

She nodded and took in a deep breath.

"With the war ending, there's going to be a lot for me to do. I know I've been round all summer, but that's going to change in the coming weeks. As an Auror I've got to help clean up the mess the Dark Lord and his followers have created. With your mum recovering in St. Mungo's, I'm not sure where you should stay. However, I already know that you'll choose to stay with Lily and Harry. But Uncle James is still recovering as well, only at home, so you'll have to help round the house and keep out of mischief. Can you do that?"

Emmy nodded. "I think so, yes."

I managed a smile and pulled her into my lap.

"Good," I said as I hugged my daughter. "I don't know when you'll be going over there, but I'm sure it'll be soon. We'll pack a bag just to be prepared."

After we gathered a new bag filled with clothes and other things she'd need at Lily and James' I took her through Side-Along Apparation to St. Mungo's. I led the way to Danielle's bed, Emilia trailing at my side. Thankfully she was awake and sitting up when we approached. Emmy ran the remaining distance to Dani's side. My wife's face lit into a smile when she saw our daughter. Danielle pushed herself up and reached a hand for Emilia. I stepped to the other side of Dani's bed and brushed her hair back.

"How are you?"

She looked over at me, Emilia gripping her hand with both of her own.

"Alright," she said. "The doctor said she might have found an antidote. She'll be back in about twenty minutes."

Nodding, I leaned down and pressed my lips gently to her forehead. Emilia told Danielle about her time with Sally and Bret and I was happy to just sit and listen. Just as Dani had said, a healer came by not quite twenty minutes later. She held a tiny steaming cauldron in her hands and hurried forward to place it on the bedside table.

"Here we go, love," the woman said, scooping out a goblet full of the potion and giving it to Dani. Danielle winced as she leaned forward and sipped the potion gingerly. Once the goblet was empty the healer refilled it and she and Dani repeated the process. I took my wife's hand as Emmy stepped to my side, wrapping an arm around my waist. I put my arm around her shoulders and held her tight for a moment. If someone had told me a month ago that I would have my family all together, that I would be married to Danielle after everything we'd been through—I would have laughed in their face and told them to shove off. Despite all the sadness and grief that I also felt at the loss of friends and mentors, I was filled with a surprising amount of joy. Once the cauldron had been drained Danielle leaned back against the pillows and smiled at me. Was it my imagination, or did she look better all ready? She squeezed my hand and closed her eyes.

"Let her get some rest," the healer told me. I nodded and lifted Emilia into my arms.

"What d'you say we go get some lunch?"

"Okay," she said with a nod. "Love you, Mummy."

Emmy kissed her mum on the cheek. Setting her on the ground, I leaned forward and kissed Dani's lips gently. I felt her smile faintly, but she was too exhausted to do much else. I gave her hand a gentle squeeze before reluctantly letting go and leading Emilia out of the ward.

* * *

><p>I stared at my reflection in my bathroom mirror, the sorrow evident in my gray eyes. There was a rustle of clothes and I turned to see Dani walking up from behind. She'd been released from St. Mungo's yesterday, but she was far from healed. She was still weak and had to take a Blood-Replenishing Potion once a day. Even still, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever known. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her in support. She was in a soft pink dress that brushed her knees and reached her elbows. The bandage on her shoulder was thoroughly concealed under the fabric. Other than the slight paleness to her skin, no one would be able to tell Danielle had been attacked by Voldemort's snake four days ago.<p>

"It'll be okay," she said quietly, brushing the palm of her hand down my face. I nodded but avoided her eyes. How could she say that? Dumbledore and Mad-Eye Moody were both dead, Peter was gone—the destruction left after Lord Voldemort's defeat was endless. A part of me knew that she was right, that eventually, things would get better. But for the foreseeable future, everything looked pretty bleak.

"How are you?" I asked in order to stop thinking about all the dead.

"I'll be fine." Dani straightened my tie and dress robes.

She ran a hand down my chest and then asked, "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I replied. The funeral for Dumbledore and memorial for the fallen was about to start at Hogwarts. Emilia peeked her head into the doorway and I saw her from the mirror. Gesturing for her to join me, she rushed forward.

"You look great, love," I told her with a smile. "All set?"

Emmy nodded and I took her hand, an arm wrapped around Danielle. I looked at my wife, who nodded. Together we spun around and Apparated to a spot just outside of Hogwarts. All assortments of witches and wizards were arriving, a colorful mixture of robes and jackets and dresses. The heads of houses were busy in the castle gathering and organizing their students. There were a few witches and wizards at the gates, directing us to the rows and rows of chairs set up near the Black Lake. We were escorted to the aisle of the chairs, then left to find our own seats. I spotted James near the middle and led Danielle and Emilia to where he and Lily sat.

"All right?" James asked after I'd helped Dani into her seat. I give him a solemn nod before sitting down myself. It wasn't long before the students, or at least those of which hadn't been taken home prematurely, filed into their seats. Not long after the ceremony began.

A short man stood in front of Dumbledore's body after Hagrid carried him slowly down the middle of the chairs and placed him on the white marble table. The speech was very eloquent, though I suspected that Dumbledore would simply smile in amusement if he'd been there to hear it. The merpeople and centaurs gave their own tributes, a testament to the fact that Albus Dumbledore had touched the lives of not only the witches and wizards of our world, but all manner of creatures. Screams rent the air when flames engulfed Dumbledore's body and I jumped a bit myself. After a moment smoke curled into the air and a marble tomb encased his body and the table he'd been lying on. Once the initial shock had worn off the Ministry wizard stood up once more.

"And now we would also like to commemorate all of those who sacrificed their lives for the defeat of Lord Voldemort. A few people would like to speak in memory of a small bit of the brave wizards and witches who died during the Battle of Hogwarts."

James and I stood up, along with Remus on the other side of Lily. A lump began to form in my throat as I thought about what it would mean. Peter was dead, gone…. We'd forever be missing a Marauder. Maria stepped out of the second row, and James and Remus and I all reached out a comforting hand. She gripped mine in both of hers for a moment, tears in her eyes but a look of determination on her face. She had only asked us to be there for support and I was glad of that. If I'd had to speak about Peter in front of all these people, I would have lost it. Maria stepped forward once the applause had gone down after Kingsley was finished with his commemoration of Moody. She took in a deep breath, and I couldn't help but admire her courage.

"My husband, Peter Pettigrew, was never very brave or daring, though I suppose he was a bit chivalrous. But he was always a good friend and an honest man. And that is why I believe he would not want me to stand here and talk about all the good and great things he did in life. In the end, he sacrificed his own life to save mine, and to me he will always be one of the most courageous men I've ever known. I know not many of you knew my husband, but I think those of you who did will agree when I say that I will miss him until I die, and that I will always have him in my heart."

Remus hugged Maria for a moment, then stepped back and allowed James to hug her. I pulled her into my embrace in turn.

"He'd've been proud of that," I told her with a watery smile. "C'mon, sit back down."

The rest of the memorial went well and soon we were standing up. Conversation started up all around as James, Remus, and I stepped closer.

"How are you?" I asked Remus; the full moon was tomorrow, and I knew this had to be hard on him. He grimaced as he shrugged. I gripped his shoulder for a long moment, then shared a knowing look with the pair of them. After saying goodbye to Lily and Tonks, I found Emmy and Danielle, little Harry in deep conversation with Emilia.

"Daddy?" Emilia asked once I told her it was time to go. "Can I stay with Harry for a bit?"

Looking over at Lily, I saw her nod. "All right." I smiled and gave her a hug. "I suppose that's okay. Mummy and I will come get you in a couple of hours."

Emmy nodded and then skipped away with Harry. I took Danielle's hand and we Apparated back to my flat.

"What'd you want to do?" I asked after helping her onto the sofa. She curled up next to me and sighed happily.

"Absolutely nothing."

I chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Kissing the side of her head, I was inclined to agree with her. I felt my eyes start to close and the deep, even breaths of Dani beside me. Taking advantage of the quiet house, I allowed myself to fall into the embrace of sleep.


	26. Home Again

**Oh my gosh, you guys, I feel so horrible! I've been trying to get this done for you, but I've just been so dang busy! :( But after next week things should go back to normal, so hopefully I'll be able to get back to weekly updates. Thank you so much for sticking with me! It truly means so much! Please tell me what you think! Love you all. :)**

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>It was nearly midnight when I came home a few days later. The effort to rebuild our world after the war had officially begun, and the Aurors were busy tracking down leads. There were many dark witches and wizards in hiding, trying to avoid being arrested. Tonight Kingsley and I had spent hours chasing a Death Eater in hiding. Knowing that Rowle was now comfortable back in his Azkaban cell I felt a sense of relief. At least our work didn't go completely unrewarded. I kicked off my trainers, then pulled off my shirt and changed into more comfortable trousers. Doing my best to be quiet, I slipped under the covers.<p>

"Mmm," Danielle said sleepily as she rolled over. "Back at last?"

With a chuckle I reached out and found her hand, curling our fingers together.

"I thought you were asleep."

There was a rustle of blankets, then a rush of light as Dani clicked the lamp on. She snuggled closer to my side, bringing a hand up to rest on my bare chest. I circled my arm around her shoulders, relishing in the intimacy with my wife.

"I was worried about you," she confessed.

I shook my head, stroking my knuckles against her forehead. A thrill went through me each time our skin brushed together.

"I know, love," I said. "But you need to rest. How will you recover?"

Dani pressed her lips to my arm. She readjusted, curling closer while still keeping her injured arm steady. "I'll be fine, Sirius."

"You still need to rest," I insisted. She just gave me an indulgent smile, causing me to roll my eyes. We lapsed into a moment of silence and I couldn't stop myself from closing my eyes.

"Sirius?"

"Hmm?" I grunted, sleep calling my name. I was exhausted, but I also wanted to stay awake to be with my wife.

"I've been thinking," Dani said as she brushed her thumb gently up and down. "This place just isn't big enough for us."

"What d'you mean?"

"Well it was perfect for you and Emmy. But once I get all my things from America, then we'll be a little more packed in. I think we should find a bigger house."

"All right," I said, forcing my eyes open. "Do you have anywhere in mind?"

"No…not really." She paused, and then gasped. "Sirius! I just thought of—what about Grimmauld Place?"

I frowned as my tired brain slowly processed what she was suggesting.

"My parents' place?" I looked down at her. "Dani, you know I hate that house."

"I know," she said. "But Sirius, just think. We could redo it together, make it our own place. And I know you didn't let Emmy know much about your family, but I think it would be neat to let her grow up there. We'd make new memories…. And besides, you already own it. What would be the point of buying a house when we've already got one?"

As much as I hated that damn house she had a point. Would it be completely impossible for me to at least consider living there? As glum and depressing as it had been, when Emilia and I had been forced to stay there it wasn't torture.

"Sirius?" She asked after I'd been silent for a long moment. Letting out a large sigh, I prayed I wouldn't hate myself after this.

"I….I suppose we could try it."

Danielle nodded. "Are you sure? I'm not trying to force you into it, I just thought…."

"No," I shook my head. "No, you're right. I've got a house. It's only practical to use it. If I can't stand it after a month then we'll start to look for something else."

"Okay," she said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept you awake this long."

With a smile I lifted her chin and kissed her.

"I can sleep when I'm dead."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

We both chuckled. Dani leaned over to turn the lamp off once more and my side felt cold. But before long she was back and all was perfect once more. Smiling, I closed my eyes and fell asleep immediately.

* * *

><p>My grip tightened on my wand, adrenaline pumping through my veins and making my heart race. I glanced at Tonks to my left and she nodded. We made up half of a small, four-person team sent out to check an old abandoned cottage. The Auror Office was still busy tracking down the remaining Death Eaters that had escaped after the battle. Lucius Malfoy had given us this lead, claiming that several Death Eaters had used it as a hideout. He also claimed that he'd only remained in Lord Voldemort's forces under pain of the Cruciatus and Imperious curses, which I thought was a load of rubbish. But it wasn't my place to say whether or not he was guilty; my job was to track down the others to make sure they each were tried and sentenced as the Wizengamot saw fit. Tonks flicked her wrist, and together we stepped closer to the cottage.<p>

It wasn't as run-down as the Shrieking Shack that Remus had spent a night in once a month during school, but the thatching on the roof was sagging and a few window panes had holes in them. We all entered at the same time, wands aloft and ready to utter a spell at any moment. After a quick search, we discovered the house was empty. It was clear that a person, or people, had lived in the cottage at some point in time.

"There's no one here," Tonks stated, glancing between me, Dawlish, and Savage.

"Search the place," Savage stated in his ever-grim tone. The rest of us nodded and began sweeping the house from floor to ceiling. If there were any dark artifacts, we needed to find them so that they could not hurt anyone else.

After nearly an hour I returned to the drawing room empty handed. Letting out a breath of air, I sat heavily on one of the armchairs.

"I've got nothing," I informed Dawlish as he walked in. He looked weary as well, but continued to stand. A moment later Tonks and Savage came in together. She looked at me before exchanging glances with Savage, who nodded reluctantly.

"What?" I demanded, standing up.

"We…er, I, found something. But I'm not sure….here."

A frown formed over my face as I cautiously stepped forward. Tonks handed me a sealed envelope and I slowly looked down to see my name scrawled in a familiar messy hand. I felt as though a chill had suddenly settled around me.

"Bloody thing burned my hand when I tried to open it." Savage said, reaching his hand out to display a nasty burn.

"Are you going to open it?" Tonks said.

I swallowed hard, feeling like my mouth was filled with sand. The familiar handwriting of my younger brother brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes. Regulus had been here at some point in time. Was this the last place he'd seen before Voldemort killed him? I glanced around at my coworkers.

"The thing burned Savage," I pointed out. "I'll check it for more spells later. We have work to do still."

"The house is clean. Back to the Ministry to report to Kingsley."

Tonks shook her head. "I dunno how he does it, Kingsley. Minister of Magic _and_ Head of the Auror Office. Being Head of the Aurors is job enough."

I folded my brother's letter and tucked it into my back pocket. Savage grunted and pushed out the front door, Dawlish following behind him.

"Alright?" Tonks asked, placing a hand on my arm. I didn't want to think about the words my brother might have said to me. Giving her a curt nod, I stepped away and followed the others back outside.

I had mostly pushed the letter to the back of my mind when I arrived home that night. Emilia came around the corner from the kitchen, her face beaming.

"Daddy!" She exclaimed and ran toward me. Despite my rough day a smile split my face as I stooped down to pick up my daughter.

"Mummy and I are making supper."

"Are you?" I asked as I settled her on my hip. It was startling how much she had grown; she was nearly too big for me to hold any more. She nodded vigorously before wigging out of my arms.

"It smells delicious, love." I said, allowing her to take my hand and lead me forward. Danielle stood in the kitchen, rinsing vegetables in the sink while pots stirred themselves on the stove.

She turned with a smile when she saw me.

"Hello," she said, circling her arms around my neck. I kissed her gently for a long moment. "You look tired. Rough day at work?"

With a sigh I nodded and dragged a hand down my face.

"Sit down, the food's almost ready."

I did as Dani instructed and Emilia sat down beside me.

"Are you going to miss this place?" I asked her. Emmy nodded, a little sad.

"Me too, love."

"Oh, by the way, the neighbor lady stopped by….Victoria? She invited us over for tea after dinner. But if you're too tired, I'm sure we could ask to reschedule, or…."

"No, no, there's no need for that. I'll be all right after a spot of rest."

As promised, Danielle, Emilia, and I went over to Ms. Vickie's flat after dinner.

"Sirius, love, I'm glad you made it." Victoria said when she answered the door. I realized that I was sad to have to say goodbye to such a lovely and generous neighbor. Smiling, I gave her a brief hug.

"I could never leave without saying goodbye," I assured her. Victoria ushered us into her home and led us to the backyard, where she had a small table set up with tea. I pulled out Dani's chair and helped her ease into it. Despite being able to make dinner and other things around the house, she still tired easily. The bite on her shoulder healed more every day, but her stamina had not completely returned. Beside me, Emilia gasped and pointed to something in the yard.

"Rabbits!" She squealed excitedly. "Ms. Vickie, when did you get rabbits?"

Victoria chuckled as she poured everyone a cup of tea. Setting down the tea kettle, she looked up at Emmy with a smile.

"They're my niece's," she explained. "She and her children went on holiday and couldn't take them along. I agreed to watch them for a few days."

"Ahhh! Can I pet them?"

Ms. Vickie chuckled again, taking Emmy by the hand. She led her over to the rabbits hopping around their metal cage.

"They're so fluffy!" Emmy said, taking one of the black-and-white rabbits into her arms.

"Daddy, may I have one?" She asked me as she turned with the bunny cuddled next to her chest.

"We'll see, love." I told her before taking a sip of hot tea. Reaching over, I slipped my hand into Dani's, weaving our fingers together. I smiled as Emilia continued to pamper the bunny. As I relaxed with the calming tea and gentle breeze blowing through the backyard, I managed to forget about the stressful day I'd had and the letter still resting in my jacket pocket.

Later that night I found Emilia in her bedroom playing with her stuffed animals. The black dog that so resembled my Animagus form was being chased by a rabbit and I stopped in the doorway to watch. As the last night in our flat, I had let her stay up later than usual. Once the rabbit caught up to the dog it jumped on its back and Emmy proceeded to make it chew on the poor bloke's head.

"What is the bunny doing?" I asked, leaning against the door jamb. Emilia looked up and turned slightly.

Her face was very solemn as she said, "Mr. Fluffy is an evil bunny."

"Evil bunny?"

Nodding, she continued on with her killer-rabbit make-believe. I walked into the room and sat down beside her.

"Why is he an evil bunny?" I wondered. Emilia shrugged and the rabbit hopped away from the whimpering dog.

"That's what Uncle James said," Emmy informed me. Shaking my head, I let out a soft laugh.

"Did he now?" When Emilia nodded vigorously, I added, "I'll have to have a word with him. It's time for bed, love."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, now c'mon," I pulled her up and dug in her drawer for clean pajamas. With a sigh Emmy put down her evil rabbit and began to change. Once her teeth were brushed we went to find Danielle, who was reading in bed. Emmy crawled up next to her in order to give her a hug and kiss.

"Night, sweetie." Danielle said, hugging Emilia to her chest for a long moment. I took Emmy to bed and tucked her in, handing her Dog.

"I love you, kitten," I said as I pressed a kiss to her forehead. Emilia wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, "I love you too, Daddy."

"Goodnight."

Emilia grabbed my hand when I started to stand up.

"Wait," she said quietly, picking at the faux leather nose on Dog.

"What is it?"

I sat back down and took Emmy's small hand in my own.

"You can tell me, love."

"I like this house, Daddy. I don't want to move."

I brushed her hair back and gave her a small smile.

"I know, Emmy. I don't want to leave here either. But your Mum's right….this just isn't big enough for us anymore. Going to Grimmauld Place won't be all bad. You'll have a nice big room to play in….and once we clean it up a bit it'll be quiet lovely." I felt as though I was trying to convince myself more than my daughter. In a way I was. But I knew that Danielle was right and I had to at least try it for her sake.

"Everything will be fine, love." I reassured my daughter. "As long as we're together, as long as we're a family, anywhere will be home. We'll make new memories."

"Okay," she said softly. Emilia turned on to her side and I knew she would be fast asleep in no time at all. I returned to my bedroom, where Dani was still reading. She closed her book when I stretched out beside her on the bed.

"Something wrong?"

"Not really," I said with a sigh. "Emmy's just worried about the move."

"You're sure this is the right thing to do?" Dani asked, her brow wrinkling in doubt. Smiling, I nodded and sat up.

"Absolutely."

* * *

><p>Tension rippled through the air as Danielle marched around Grimmauld Place, snapping at James and Lily. We'd been in my old house for nearly two days now. I was doing my best to not hate it—honestly, I was. But it wasn't exactly easy to live in the place my parents had treated me like shit. It didn't help that the portrait of my Mum kept shouting profanities at my daughter, wife, and friends. James and Lily were not unaccustomed to Walburga Balck's screams, as they'd been in many Order meetings. Before when we'd been forced to hide here, I had managed to keep my mother silent. Now that Dani was determined to scour the entire place from top to bottom it was nearly impossible to avoid my mother's screams.<p>

"Sirius!" Dani shouted for what seemed like the thousandth time. Gritting my teeth, I tried to ignore the ache starting to drill into the base of my skull. I suppressed a sigh as I took my foot off of the step and turned around, retracing my footsteps from before.

"What?" I asked, trying not to snap at her despite my irritation.

"Could you—?" Before she could finish the portrait of my mother burst into screams.

"Mudbloods! Filth! Stains in the house of my noble fathers! Taint of shame—"

Dani winced and I once again retraced my steps, running down the hallway to the portrait. James' footsteps pounded on the ground as he ran up from behind me. Together we managed to close the rotting velvet curtains. This was the third time today that Mummy Dearest had stared shrieking at us. It definitely wasn't helping my headache. James leaned against the wall, panting beside me.

"That's the third time," he said, shaking his head. "I think that's a record, even for the Order."

I simply nodded. James glanced in the direction of Danielle and Lily, who were cleaning the drawing room.

"I can't take all this cleaning. I feel like my hands are going to scrub off."

Chuckling, I shared a knowing look and nodded. "I know, mate. And it doesn't help, being here again. I feel closed in, like I'm suffocating. Every minute feels as though my mum's going to pop out and start cursing me."

"Take a break."

"I can't. If I stop cleaning for a second Danielle turns into a nutter. She's been like this for two days."

James laughed and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll get Lily to speak with her. Go have a minute." He handed me a jacket that had been draped on one of the mounted House Elf heads.

"Thanks."

Nodding, he pushed me toward the stairs. I took in a deep breath and went up to my old room before my wife could find me and force me to spray another drape with Doxycide. I tossed my coat on top of my bed. As I did, the letter Tonks had found nearly a week ago came loose and fluttered to the ground. The letter had ceased to cross my mind with all of the excitement the past several days. Swallowing hard, I stooped down and took the envelope in my hands gently. My fingers trembled as I sat down on the edge of my bed and slowly turned the envelope. I stared at it another moment longer before ripping open the yellowing parchment. It didn't even cross my mind to check or curses—I just needed to know what it said.

_To my brother,_

_Sirius, I don't know if you'll ever read this. I've placed a jinx on the envelope—only you can open it. I just want you to know….I'm sorry. Sorry for being a complete arse during Hogwarts, especially after you ran off. I'm sorry for joining Lord Voldemort, despite your warnings. I should have listened, Sirius. I'm sorry I didn't listen. I know we didn't get along well; not once we were older. Mum and Dad were too hard on you, but you were a good brother, Sirius. You never gave up on me, not even when I refused to acknowledge you. I know I disappointed you and I'm sorry for that as well. All the times you were an arse back to me have been forgiven. I forgave you a long time ago. I tried to get out, I promise you I tried. But the Dark Lord is not one to be left without consequences. I'm going to make this right—this mess I've helped to create. You're the bravest man I've ever known. You stood up for something, fought for what you believed, even through Mum and Dad's disapproval. I know I don't deserve it, but if you can forgive me I'd ask one thing of you. If I die tonight, don't let my spirit die with me. Remember me. Remember the good times we had, however few they may be. I love you, brother. I pray that you will still be able to love me, too. _

_Regulus A. Black. _

I didn't realize until I'd finished that I had tears streaking down my cheeks.

"Regulus…." I muttered, feeling a sudden ache in my chest at the loss of my brother. He was right; I'd never given up on him, not for a moment. I'd always had hope for him in the back of my mind, no matter how small, that he'd turn his life around. Of course, by our parents' standards, Regulus was the successful one. He joined the forces of the Dark Lord, the man how was going to better wizardkind with his pure-blood mania.

I silently stood and crossed the hallway, finding my way to my brother's room. Danielle hadn't got to cleaning this one yet, and dust covered the surfaces and ground. Things were strewn around, just as they had been the day Regulus left—the day he never came back. I didn't know where Kreacher had disappeared to, and honestly I didn't care. We'd never taken a liking to each other. I was mildly surprised he hadn't kept Master Regulus' room clean and tidy. My brother had always been his favorite. Sniffing, I wiped the tears away with my hands and left my brother's room. I returned to my old room and put the letter on my dresser, grabbing the jacket once more off the bed. I jogged down the stairs and nearly collided with Danielle at the bottom.

"Sirius, there you—" She stopped short when she noticed my expression. Putting the cleaning supplies in her hands on a stack of crates beside us, she touched her hand to my arm.

"What's wrong?"

Despite the fact I had been irritated with her not even twenty minutes ago, I felt an odd stirring in my chest. When was the last time someone had taken a single look at me and immediately known I was upset? Certainly James had, several times, I was sure. But it was different with Danielle. I felt closer, more connected. She slid her hand down my arm, until her fingers were intertwined with my own. I gave her hand a light squeeze. Shaking my head, I take in a deep breath.

"About a week ago, when we were searching a cottage at work Tonks found a letter. It was addressed to me."

Danielle's glossy brown eyebrows furrowed as she frowned. "You?"

"It was from Regulus."

"Oh." The word was so soft it barely escaped her lips. Dani had seen firsthand my relationship with my younger brother. She had also heard the stories, the good memories and the bad, and knew that I felt guilty deep inside.

I should have tried harder to save him. I shouldn't have allowed Mum and Dad to shove their pure-blood mania down his throat. There were so many times when I could have spoken up, talked to him and tried to make him see who they really were. But I hadn't done it, because I resented him. He was more loved by our parents, more loved by everyone in the family. I might have been the heir by birth right, but everyone knew that Mum and Dad wanted Regulus to have everything.

"I talked to James."

I raised my eyebrows by way of a question. Danielle laughed lightly.

"He told me I was driving you mental." When I nodded she laughed again, looking sheepish. "I'm sorry. I just want this to work out so badly. I want you to like this place again, and not just for me. I think it's so sad that you have so many bad memories in your childhood home."

Shaking my head, I smiled and lifted a hand to her face.

"I appreciate that, love, but it's not necessary."

Danielle shrugged. "Well, why don't you go somewhere and take a little time. James, Lily, and I will hold the fort."

"Thank you," I said with a nod. I held her tightly to my chest for a long moment. When I pulled away Danielle pressed a kiss to my lips.

"Stay safe."

I nodded before continuing down the hall to the door. It took no time at all to cross the street to the small park Regulus and I used to go when we were children. It was old and dilapidated, but I could still remember the sound of his laugh as we chased each other around. Shoving my hands into the pockets of my jacket, I slowly crossed the park. There was a single swing left that was functional. I sat down and pushed gently against the ground, setting myself back and forth gently. My breath came out in a puff of moisture in the cold air.

"I'm sorry too, Regulus," I whispered to him, looking to the sky. "Sorry that I didn't try harder to be your brother, even though you were a Slytherin. Sorry that I couldn't save you while I had the chance. Of course I forgive you, mate. You're my brother. I'll tell Emmy about you, Reg. I'll show her pictures and tell her that you were one of the best Slytherins I've ever known. I don't know what you made a mess of, but I know you'll do everything you can to fix it. I miss you; have missed you since the day I ran away. I thought your life would be better without me in it, but I've realized that I hurt you when I left. I left you alone with Mum and Dad. I'm married now. I think you'd like Danielle. Emilia, too. I'm sorry you can't ever meet them. I love you, Regulus, and I always will."

I laughed at how bizarre I must look: a grown man, crying in the twilight as he sat on a child's swing set. I wiped away the tears once again rolling down my cheeks as I shook my head. Dragging my hands through my hair, I took in a deep breath. I strangely felt better, more sure that this was the right decision. Somehow, reading Regulus' letter and speaking aloud the things I'd felt in my chest for years felt refreshing—as though a chapter of my life had ended. I felt as though I could go back into that house and create it anew. I would make new memories, _happier_ memories. And though the old ones would never entirely leave, I would be able to push them to the back of my mind and no longer dwell on them. Smiling, I stood up from the swing and started back toward 12 Grimmauld Place, which had become more of a home then it ever could have been with my parents alive.


	27. Midnight Kisses

**Oh my gosh, you guys! I hate myself for taking so long to write this! I feel like it's been two months... (that's probably because it practically has been... :/ Sorry!) I've been trying SO hard to finish this, but I just haven't had any inspiration. That is, until today! Seriously, I feel so bad that I took so long for this, but I'm glad it's finally done. :) It's always a bittersweet feeling when I finish a story. I hope you all like it. :) Thank you all for sticking with this; it means so much to me! I feel like I'm rambling, so I'm going to stop now. I love you guys so freaking much! **

**Love, **

**~Ouaysis. **

* * *

><p>I sighed and looked into my nervous gray eyes in the mirror as I needlessly adjusted my robes. I shouldn't be anxious, but I was. She was all ready my wife, what was there to be nervous about? Danielle and I had decided to have another ceremony, as we hadn't been formally married in the Wizarding world. Besides that, it only felt right to include James and Remus and the rest of our friends. There was a noise at the door and I turned to see James leaning against the doorjamb. Shoving away from it, he walked over and put a hand on my shoulder.<p>

"You look good, mate."

"Thanks. Everything ready?"

James nodded. "We're all set to go. The bloke from the Ministry is here to officiate."

Taking in a deep breath, I gave a curt nod. I tried to ignore the ridiculous nerves as I walked with James. When I reached the landing my foot faltered on the top step. I turned to James and shook my head as Peter's face flashed before my eyes.

"It feels wrong, somehow….without Wormtail. Don't you think, Prongs?"

I saw James's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. He stayed silent for a long moment, before finally agreeing with a nod.

"Yeah. He'd want you to go on with it, though."

"Well of course I'm going on with it." I said, gripping the banister. "I just wish he was here to celebrate with us."

"Me too, Padfoot."

James placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. Our eyes met for a moment before we both nodded and started down the staircase. I knew Danielle was in one of these rooms, putting on her finishing touches. As if she needed any. The woman would bloody perfect in a paper sack. I was smiling when we reached the first floor. I could hear the murmurs of our guests filtering through the drawing room. Tonks appeared at the top of the stairs, her hair a deep blue color. I grinned at her.

"Lovely hair," I commented, gesturing to her aqua locks. She grinned back with a wink.

"I knew you'd appreciate it. Dani liked it as well. Said it shows my 'character'." Tonks chuckled. "Dear Molly thought it was inappropriate and told me to change it back to natural. I think it'll make a nice contrast in the photos, though, don't you?"

Laughing, I nodded. Josephine leaned over the banister.

"Dani's ready when you are."

"We're ready," I said with a nod. Most of the nerves disappeared as I sucked in a deep breath. Just then Emmy wondered into the hall from the drawing room. Smiling, she skipped over to our small group.

"Daddy, the Ministry man wants to know when we're starting."

"Tell him we're starting now, love."

"Okay," she said as she spun on her heel and skipped back into the room. Tonks followed behind her, I was sure to find Remus and take their seats. I heard the Ministry wizard make an announcement and then the voices quiet down. A rush of excitement went through the crowd.

I clapped James on the arm as I stepped forward to take my place at the front of the room. When I turned to look at the crowd, I saw Lily in the front row, beaming. Little Elaine was in her arms, Harry and Emilia standing stoically to her left. I scanned the crowd, my eyes occasionally stopping on a face. Frank Longbottom was there, a smile on his face despite the slightly disheveled appearance of his hair. I'd heard he moved back with his mum after they buried Alice. She was helping him with Neville, who was the same age as Harry. I thought that sometimes Frank slipped into his own world, when his eyes glossed over and his brow twisted a bit in confusion. But it only lasted for a moment before he was back to his usual self and smiling again. I saw Kingsley Shacklebolt and the Weasleys. Remus and Tonks were on the other side of Lily, smiling happily. I focused my eyes on the entry way when the lone musician changed his song. James escorted Josephine to the front, and then suddenly Dani was there.

A gasp escaped from my lips when I saw her. I couldn't help it; she literally took my breath away. On the Hawaiian coastline she'd looked like a princess. Now she looked more like a fairy, but the effect was every bit as enrapturing. She beamed at me as she walked slowly down the center aisle. Next thing I knew she was at my side, lacing our fingers together, pressing her warm palm against mine. The ceremony passed in a blur. Once I had the comfortable weight of Danielle's ring on my finger I knew nothing in the world could ever tear us apart. Of course I knew that before, but there was just something about the ring that gave a sense of finality.

Now we swayed back and forth to the music, Dani's head resting on my shoulder. All the chairs had been pushed back to the wall and Kreacher—who I'd discovered a day after I'd read Regulus' letter—moved around the room offering drinks and hors d'oeuvres. Though we had always been little less than enemies during my childhood, it hadn't been hard to make amends. The fact that he was still bound to me was also useful, as he hadn't been able to escape once I'd ordered him to stay. But if he had refused to forgive me over the ill way I'd treated him as a child, then I would have allowed him to leave. I looked down when Dani sighed happily. She met my eyes and smiled. I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers, feeling the familiar shiver run down my spine. Curling her fingers into my hair, she kissed me back. I could get lost in her lips forever. Nothing compared to the feel of her skin against mine. Closing my eyes, I melted into my wife, forgetting about every other person and thing in the room. In Hawaii I had felt odd, almost like an outsider. But this was completely my element. I was surrounded by my friends and co-workers, all witches and wizards. I slid my hand down Dani's back, pressing her closer. I wondered if she could feel the beating of my heart beside hers. I was jolted back into reality when a hand touched my shoulder. Pulling away, I turned to see James.

"Sorry to interrupt the moment, but everyone's waiting for cake."

Nodding, we silently follow James to the table set up in the corner. I saw Emilia and Harry chatting animatedly at a table with Lily and Tonks, and couldn't resist a smile. I glanced at Dani and saw that she was still smiling as well. I couldn't imagine anything more than what my life had turned out to be. We were finally a real family—Emmy had a mother, _her_ mother. I felt as though I could burst as I placed my hand over Danielle's and cut the first piece of cake.

* * *

><p>"I love you, kitten. Behave for Lily and James." I kissed Emilia's forehead, lingering there for a moment longer than necessary. It was hard to believe that she was eight years old. It seemed like only a year ago when she was four, cuddling up to my side. In another four years she would be off to Hogwarts to start her training.<p>

"I will, Daddy. Love you, too."

I smiled and straightened, doubting that she would be able to resist getting into trouble all together. She was my daughter, after all. I knew that she wouldn't do anything too terrible and that James wouldn't mind even if she did. I watched as Emmy hugged her mum, Dani kissing the side of her head before releasing her. I wrapped an arm around Danielle as I waved to my daughter and godson, who were already plotting their first adventure.

"Goodbye. And no more evil bunnies!"

Danielle gave me an odd look, but I was more focused on James. He caught my eye and grinned. Spinning around, he caught Emmy in his arms and tickled her.

"You promised not to tell!"

"I didn't!" She insisted, giggling. James let her go and she took Harry's hand before running down the hall, to where Lily waited by the fireplace in the kitchen.

"There a reason you told my daughter her rabbit was evil?"

There was a twinkle in his eyes when James shrugged and said, "Just wanted to see how she'd react."

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head, though I couldn't get the smile off my face.

"Get out of my house," I growled.

"My pleasure. Don't have too much fun, love." He said with a wink before disappearing into the kitchen.

Still shaking my head, I turned to Danielle, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Evil bunnies?" She raised her eyebrows. I chuckled.

"It's just James being a wanker."

"I suppose I have to get used to it?"

"I don't think it's something you can become 'used to.'"

"Point taken." She said, circling her arms around my neck and putting her lips to mine.

After several minutes I pulled away and whispered, "We still haven't got a proper honeymoon. And I even knew that I was marrying you, this time."

"I don't need a honeymoon," Dani said with a laugh. "All I need is you."

On an impulse I stooped down and swept her into my arms. Dani let out a small yelp of surprise and then laughed. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, her long brown curls flowing over my left arm.

"What are you doing?"

"Being romantic."

She laughed harder. "I don't think it counts if you have to tell me."

I shrugged as I went up the stairs to the first floor, to our bedroom. I dropped her gently on the bed and kicked off my shoes before crawling beside her. Wrapping an arm around her stomach, I brushed my lips over her neck, making a trail up to her lips. I had longed for this so long, but it only made it that much sweeter. Dani turned into me, a hand sliding over my chest. I moaned and pulled her closer, tangling my fingers in her hair as I deepened the kiss. She broke away for breath, her forehead pressed against mine.

"Would now be a bad time to mention my parents are flying in next week?"

"_Yes_," I replied breathlessly, finding her lips again. I felt her nod against me as she kissed me back fiercely, her hands slipping to the hem of my shirt.

Sometime later, I lay on my side, tracing random patterns over Dani's bare back. The fact that we were here, as husband and wife, still amazed me.

"Don't stop," she whispered when my hand stilled.

"Sorry. I didn't know you were awake."

She nodded tiredly, turning on to her side and looking up at me. Pulling the sheet higher over her chest, she snuggled into my arms. I kissed her shoulder, the same time she reached up to touch a faint scare on my chest.

"What's it from?"

I shrugged.

"It can't be from a raid. It's too old. These are from the battle…." She trailed off, her finger brushing across my skin to where I'd been cut by the castle blowing up. Her hand went back to the first.

"Do you remember?"

I was silent for a long time, long enough for her to look up and say, "Sirius?"

I sighed, unable to refuse those entrancing brown eyes.

"I was sixteen." I started slowly, my tone measured. She frowned slightly, her finger still brushing absently over the long, thin scar. "It was the night I left this house, actually. I….er, let's just say my mum's aim was spot-on."

Danielle gasped. "Your _mother_ did this to you? I knew she was verbally abusive, but you never said—"

"It was just the once."

"And she cut you? With a curse?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "She threw a vase at me. _Then_ she hit me with the Cruciatus Curse."

"I'm so sorry, Sirius. And I made you come back here….How can you stand it? We can leave, if you want. I know you said you were sure about this, but—"

"Danielle."

She stopped and looked up, her eyes questioning.

"This isn't the same house as it was. It's the same building, but….we've made new memories, we're redoing most of the floors. I wouldn't have decided to stay here if I wasn't certain I could handle it. I've always liked this house. It was the people in it I couldn't stand. Trust me when I say I don't have that problem now."

Danielle laughed and pressed her lips to my bicep. "Oh….I believe you."

* * *

><p><strong><em>September, four years later<em>**

I knocked on the open door of Emmy's room, where she knelt before her open trunk.

"May I come in?"

Looking up, Emmy saw me and nodded.

"Yeah," she smiled. I returned the smile as I sat on the edge of her bed. As I looked at my daughter, it was hard to believe that she was leaving to her first year of Hogwarts in little under an hour. She'd grown so much and my heart ached seeing it.

"C'mere, love," I told her, gesturing for her to sit beside me. Her large brown eyes looked up at me curiously as she swept her long brown hair over one shoulder.

"I know that you've been waiting for this day for years and I've been dreading it just as long. But now that you're finally off to Hogwarts I want you to promise me one thing."

Emilia rolled her eyes impatiently, a smile on her pink lips. "I know, Dad. No getting into trouble, do good in all your classes, et cetera."

Putting a hand to my heart, I faked being offended. "What? How could you say that?"

".…You weren't going to tell me that?"

I laughed and wrapped an arm around her, hugging her to my side. "Of course not. I came in here to say you'd better break as many rules as you can and don't be afraid to go on an adventure. You're a Black and the daughter of a Marauder. I expect nothing less than mischief. I had better get a letter once a week about how you've been chucking wads of parchment down the toilets."

Emmy doubled over in laughter as I began tickling her.

"Daddy, stop it!"

I finally relented after a few moments and pulled Emilia into my arms. Sighing, I shook my head.

"I'm going to miss you, love."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Daddy." She said, wrapping her arms around me and resting her head on my shoulder.

"What is going on in here?" Danielle stepped into the doorway, a grin on her lips.

"Nothing," we replied together.

Looking at each other, we both started laughing once more. I could practically feel my wife rolling her eyes at me.

"Well you'd better hurry up doing nothing, because we've got to leave in ten minutes."

"Yes, ma'am." I said with laughter still sparkling in my eyes. After Dani retreated I kissed Emilia's temple and then stood up.

"You finished packing?"

"Yes."

She nodded and clicked the locks shut for emphasis.

"Uric's all ready to go?"

She nodded once more, placing her owl's cage atop her trunk carefully. I reluctantly nod, trying to fight the water filling in my eyes.

"Okay. You promise?"

The mischievous grin she'd inherited from me spread over her face. "Of course. What kind of a Black would I be if I didn't?"

Chuckling, I hugged her to my side once more. "That's my girl."

I couldn't stop thinking about Emilia as I started breakfast the next morning. I knew that she would do perfectly fine, but I was going to miss her. The holidays couldn't come fast enough. _Still, _I thought with a small grin,_ having the house to ourselves has some benefits._ The soft sound of footsteps had me turning and I smiled when I saw Danielle. Her brown hair cascaded down her back and for a moment I was stunned by her beauty. I would never get over how amazing that woman was. She wore only my button-down shirt from last night over her underpants. Padding into the kitchen, she pushed herself up onto the counter.

I put the kettle down on the flame and stepped closer to Dani. My hands slid up her bare thighs, scraping over the fabric of her pants and coming to rest on her hips. I leaned in and brushed my lips over her jaw, slowly making my way to her luscious pink lips. She wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me closer and linking her ankles together. Dani's fingertips trailed down my bare back, leaving a burning, tingling sensation in their wake. I sighed happily against her mouth and kissed her again. My hand slipped up a few inches. I would never get tired of this, of loving Danielle with everything that I was and everything I had.

"Good morning," she murmured against my neck. I smiled and pulled away just enough to capture her chocolate gaze with mine.

"I'd say so." I replied, catching a lock of hair in my fingers and tucking it back into place. I put my lips again to hers and lost myself in her embrace.

"I think I quite like having the house to ourselves," I said softly into her ear. Dani laughed and took my hand in hers, linking our fingers together.

"Is that what last night was for?"

"No," I chuckled. "Last night was because I'm helplessly in love with you."

I was suddenly grateful for magical cooking. Otherwise, I'd never been able to make breakfast while actually paying more attention to my beautiful wife.

"Well that's good." Danielle said, pausing to kiss me sweetly. "Because I have something to tell you."

"Oh?" I asked distractedly, rubbing my thumb against her skin.

"I planned to tell you last night," she grinned. "But you had other plans."

I laughed. "Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Yes." Dani took my other hand, resting against her side, and laced those fingers together as well. After a long pause, during which she beamed at me and practically bounced up and down, she said, "I'm pregnant!"

It took a moment for that to sink in. "You…you're pregnant?"

Dani nodded vigorously, her face glowing. "Yes! I had an appointment yesterday and had it confirmed."

A sudden, fierce joy exploded inside of me and I wrapped my arms around her. For a long moment I simply held her, Danielle hugging me back just as fierce. Laughing, I kissed her and then held her out at arm's length.

"Wow…I can't…this is amazing!"

She laughed along with me, nodding eagerly. The thought of more children had never really occurred to me in the past four years, to be honest. We had the perfect family already. But now….now that I knew I was going to be a father again, I couldn't imagine anything better.

"Emmy's going to have a brother or sister!" With a sense of awe I put a hand to Dani's abdomen. It was difficult to imagine that such a miracle as a baby was growing inside of her. I couldn't stop smiling as I briefly pressed my lips to her stomach. Dani laughed and slipped down from the counter.

Waving my wand, I set the table for two and then sent the food to serve itself. "I'm just glad we'll do it right this time." I said as I pushed Dani's chair in for her. "With a mum and a dad and a big sister to love them."

"And not to mention all those mischievous uncles and cousins."

I chuckled just as an owl shot unexpectedly out of the chimney. I immediately recognized the markings and knew it was from Emmy. Uric landed on the table beside my plate and I offered him a strip of bacon as I took the letter from his leg.

"It's from Emmy," I said excitedly and Dani leaned in. I looked up, grinning.

"I can't wait to tell her the news."


End file.
